I’m figuring out the weight room, which classes are nice and which are diet culture hellscapes, and more. You can read the first installment here, and the whole series will eventually live here.

Fat Girl Gym Part 1!

Meanwhile on the pod, I’m in conversation with the brilliant .

We’re talking about her new book, Black. Single. Mother., and getting into who gets to claim the title of “single mother” and whether dating…especially for single moms… can become a diet?

On Apple Podcasts!

On Spotify!

On YouTube!

Or right here on our new Simplecast show page (which will also let you add it to a bunch of other podcast players if the big 3 aren’t your jam).

PAID SUBSCRIBERS also get access to our new bonus segment — Indulgence Gospel with Corinne and me!

These are going to be a little bit unfiltered and a mix of debriefing on guest interviews, personal updates, listener questions and whatever else you want to hear us chat about! This week we debrief on my Jamilah interview and talk a little more about how the pressures of motherhood get tangled up with body size. Listen here!

PS. Don’t forget, you can take 10% off your copy of Black. Single. Mother. if you buy it from my local independent bookstore along with a copy of Fat Talk!

Join Burnt Toast!

Toast-Adjacent

Who are your best friends? (Broadly defined!)

Burnt Toast’s beloved producer is turning 50! And she has thoughts.

Over on Big Undies, the Closet Concierge will see you now!

wrote about fatness, GLP-1s, and and it is just the best thing ever.

Corinne dyed a bunch of clothes and they are SUCH a good blue.

Friend of the show/former Cult co-host feels bad about her hair.

The Toastie Take

Says Rachel on Help! I Joined A Gym: “I remind myself that those who look like me are afraid of gyms and don’t want to go in. It’s not that the world is thin, it’s that this world is thin. So I’m there to REPRESENT!”

Says Ellen in Who Are Your Best Friends?: “One of my friends said that if she doesn't bother to vacuum, then the person coming over is her best friend. By that standard, everyone is my best friend!”

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Plus Some Butter!

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Universal Standard’s iconic Geneva dress is STILL on sale for just $45! They have a lot of colors and larger sizes left… I clearly don’t need another but somehow one in “deep sea” is on the way to my house as I type this? How on earth!?

Here’s a video of me wearing the navy stripe, because I do think it helps to see the shape of this kind of dress from all angles. We are not 2D, as always reminds us!

As you can see, my cat Licorice approves and let me tell you, he is such a judgy stylist.

The dress that works for everything

Right after this piece dropped (so yes, at 5:45am on a Tuesday morning!), my mother texted to ask why my hand is on my head in so many of these photos. If you’ve wondered the same thing (but held yourself back from asking, always an option???): It’s because I only have, like, two poses that work in the mirror I do outfit selfies in, and also sometimes I think my hair looks flat. What can I say. Photos are hard!!

Anyway, all of my spring outfits are linked right over here. (Yes, mostly affiliate links.)

More thoughts on wide-leg pants

Meanwhile on the pod, Corinne took us down the peptides rabbit hole!

Yes, I resisted this episode topic for a full year. This new diet trend is the cursed love child of protein bros and RFK stans, and it’s supposed to make you thin, tan, and maybe horny. Can’t imagine there are any downsides!!

On Apple Podcasts!

On Spotify!

On YouTube!

Or right here on our new Simplecast show page (which will also let you add it to a bunch of other podcast players if the big 3 aren’t your jam).

PAID SUBSCRIBERS also get access to our new bonus segment — Indulgence Gospel with Corinne and me!

These are going to be a little bit unfiltered and a mix of debriefing on guest interviews, personal updates, listener questions and whatever else you want to hear us chat about! This week we chat about my birthday weekend and what we’re reading. Listen here!

Join Burnt Toast!

Toast-Adjacent

Three more great spring outfits, from .

Former podcast guest/Toastie wrote about why Dying For Sex gets disability and sex so right, plus her new Snack Stack.

Why Corinne did not go to the Met Gala

The Toastie Take

Says Karen Cox on Did I Finally Make a Capsule Wardrobe: “The outfit posts are my favorite! It’s normal to want to look aesthetically pleasing, especially to ourselves. How we face the world matters. We have the right to confidence and knowing we look good is a large part of that. Hell, one of the symptoms of severe depression is a sudden lack of care about one’s own appearance. Clothes MATTER.”

Says OtterKel in our Garden Toast Chat: “I made my kid a *Goth Garden*! My 10 year old non-binary witch went goth this year, and is obsessed with Wednesday on Netflix. Our yard has this little cinder block patch that the previous owners left behind, so I put a wonky little wrought iron fence around it, added the black trellis, and planted it out with coleus, dark salvia, heuchera, and burgundy nasturtiums. Will probably be growing clematis on the back trellis, as the dark red sweet peas aren't getting nearly enough sun to be happy.”

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Plus Some Butter!

Now that it’s porch-eating season, we’re hosting a lot, and this weeknight serving bowl and serving platter (above) are in constant rotation. Both are by East Fork, my fav pottery brand; I also drink my tea out of their big mug every time we record the podcast!

Anything East Fork would be a great last minute Mother’s Day gift, so heads up that they have free shipping on orders over $150 starting today through May 17. And you can take 15% off any order under $150 anytime with the code BURNTTOAST15.

Shop my East Fork favorites

Some of these tips are my advice, some from the Burnt Toast team and former pod guests, and a lot from YOU because y’all are very wise. None of them is about taking a bubble bath (no hate to bubble baths!). My favorite: Pee when you need to pee!!

Also: Buy the good sex toys.

Meanwhile on the pod, we have the delightful and brilliant !

Emma joined us to chat about her gorgeous new short story collection Fat Swim. We also got into: Why we don’t like Jonathan Franzen 👀, what thin authors get wrong when they write fat characters, and why you probably need a Default Outfit.

On Apple Podcasts!

On Spotify!

On YouTube!

Or right here on our new Simplecast show page (which will also let you add it to a bunch of other podcast players if the big 3 aren’t your jam).

PAID SUBSCRIBERS also get access to our new bonus segment — Indulgence Gospel with Corinne and me!

These are going to be a little bit unfiltered and a mix of debriefing on guest interviews, personal updates, listener questions and whatever else you want to hear us chat about! This week we chat about why we love Emma, brainstorm our own Default Outfits and more. Listen here!

Join Burnt Toast!

Here’s What Else is Happening in the Burnt Toast Ecosystem:

Why does this protein shot taste like sad lemonade? (PS. We did VIDEO and it’s so fun!)

“Clothing has no fucking gender”

I’m always trying to prioritize more slow fashion brands and Corinne reported on three I’m curious about!

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Plus Some Butter (Literally)

One thing I love about Burnt Toasties: You reliably and constantly send me links to butters you find in the wild. And for my birthday, producer sent me a whole Butter care package including that super cute reusable tote, notepad, and bookmark! So I decided to round up a whole bunch of butter favs, including the squishy that lives on my desk, and the world’s best canvas tote, which Corinne had monogrammed with “Butter” for me last Christmas.

Find the whole Butter collection (yes I’ll keep adding to it!) here.

On Tuesday, I published what may be the last (?) installment of The Sleep Apnea Diaries. This one is an extremely meticulous accounting of how I’ve adjusted to CPAP life, what I love, what I don’t love, and how it has benefited my sleep and my health.

Reminder that you do not need to lose weight to achieve this dream!

TL/DR: Get a sleep study if you aren’t feeling well-rested! But also read this piece for all the details about CPAP life. I’ve also made a big list of my specific CPAP equipment and other sleep essentials.

And you can find the whole sleep apnea series here.

Meanwhile on the pod, we’re rerunning one of your favorite episodes from last year: Is Mel Robbins a Diet?

This episode was previously paywalled, but you can now hear it FREE…

On Apple Podcasts!

On Spotify!

On YouTube!

Or right here on our new Simplecast show page (which will also let you add it to a bunch of other podcast players if the big 3 aren’t your jam).

And paid subscribers can stay tuned for a new bonus segment where Corinne tries Mel’s new protein shot …and reacts in real time.

Free listeners, it’s honestly so hilarious, I think it’s worth an upgrade.

Subscribe for protein shots

Here’s What Else is Happening in the Burnt Toast Ecosystem:

Practical spring outfits from . What are we wearing to the farmer’s market?!

Our producer wrote the best thing I have read about the Lindy West discourse.

The Blonde Mule

Kim Explain Things To Me: Memoirs

Wow, what a terrible time to be on the internet. What a disappointment to learn that some of the women you read, respect and follow online can’t differentiate between what bad thing a man did to them and what a woman they don’t know wrote about in her book…

Read more

2 months ago · 54 likes · 2 comments · Kim Baldwin

OG Burnt Toastie (and an expert on parenting in diet culture!) reported on a very weird conversation between Emily Oster and a Weight Watchers exec.

And Corinne tried out the Old Navy X Christopher John Rogers collab, which I have been so curious about…

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Plus Some Butter

Yes, I own these linen pants in two very similar colors — honestly, worth it. Red and pink are not the same vibe! (Available up to a J. Crew size 24, I wear the 20 for reference.) And everything I’m wearing here is on sale right now, just FYI!

Did you know that despite being a full-time dad (OF NINE) and “farmer,” Daniel can work out for two hours every day? And “eats clean,” meaning basically only protein powder? Super Daniel! How does he do it all?!

What a Ballerina Farmer Eats In a Day

Meanwhile on the pod, Corinne and I are discussing photos. Why are they so freaking hard?!

We get into what to do when you have that knee-jerk “I hate it!” feeling about photo of special moments, whether pro photos are easier than candids, what we like to wear, and what the heck to do with your hands. (We still have no idea.)

Get in the photo already!

A few other goodies you may have missed from the Burnt Toast universe:

What if I just don’t want to be fat? — this month’s Paywall Unlocked!

Why it matters that malls are losing Torrid

Corinne and the brilliant Mary Mahoney on turning 40!

The worst advice:

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This section contains affiliate links. Shopping our links supports Burnt Toast at no extra cost to you!

Plus Some Butter

I treated myself to a new Geneva Dress and will likely now live in it. Why is this particular Universal Standard piece so iconic? They just super nailed the fit; it feels like you’re wearing nothing, but also looks sort of effortlessly polished. Cute with sneakers or sandals; this is my third, but I couldn’t resist the stripes. (Rest of the outfit, including my thigh chafe solution linked here.)

One last thing: We’ve jumped straight into Summer Weather here in the Hudson Valley, which won’t last, but IS inspiring me to get the first installment of Garden Toast ready for Sunday.

These are always paywalled for privacy (since it’s a lot of pics of my actual garden/life) so join us here if you share my admittedly niche passion for hellebores and starting zinnias from seed, etc. Or buy the full collection for just $10 here.

I need Garden Toast!

(No, that’s not a moral obligation—even if you’re in perimenopause, although the Internet sure claims otherwise!) But I still workout at home in my family room with my emotional support cats.

I’m thinking about joining a gym — at some point, I need access to heavier/more weights than I can reasonably store in my house? But I don’t like the ambience of most gyms, I don’t like how steeped in diet culture and fatphobia they can be, I don’t want a gym bro mansplaining weights to me.

This week’s podcast conversation with Brooklyn-based personal trainer and power lifter Keri Harvey is… shifting my thinking a bit though.

Keri talks a lot about why gyms need to be for all bodies — and why, specifically, it matters for people who look like her (or me!) to show up there. She also has great advice for navigating workout motivation challenges, body changes, and more. It’s a must listen.

Keri Harvey on Burnt Toast!

I also wrote up a little travel diary of our recent spring break in Santa Fe!

No, Burnt Toast is not a travel newsletter, but I personally love getting these slice of life pieces from my fav writers every once in a while. If you’re interested in where we ate, what we did, how we made travel fun for my ND kiddo, and pics of me and together IRL, read it here.

Spring Break in Santa Fe!

Coming up on Sunday: What If I Just Don’t Want To Be Fat?

Over on Patreon, the Burnt Toasties have voted and we’ll be unlocking the paywall on this essay (which I wrote way back in 2022 and is still in second place for most paywall conversions ever!). I think this is because this just IS the question we all grapple with. Yes, yes, you think: I know fatphobia is bad, I support and love fat people… but I just don’t feel good about it for me. So, then what?

My thoughts —from 2022 with some slight updates — are coming Sunday morning.

To make sure you don’t miss it, join the Patreon free list NOW — just click “join for free” in the top righthand corner of that page.

This Week’s Butter

I know this mask is the MOST ABSURD thing ever. But Jack got me one a few months ago and OMG, it is game changing. I wake up with a lot of early morning headaches, so I keep it on my nightstand to slip on — I can almost always eke out another hour of sleep. It also thoroughly blocks light, so is a great travel sleep mask. I don’t understand how it stays cold, but it feels so good.

The journalist in me loves Discourse Weeks because it feels like we’re part of something important, plus it’s way easier to write headlines. But the human in me adores Random Weeks most, because it makes this space feel (even more) like a bunch of friends hanging out in our comfy pants, eating cheese.

So ICYMI, here’s what we’ve been chatting about during this quite random week!

Why are American Girl dolls on Ozempic?

Freaking. Daniel. Neeleman. 🐄

Melt the ICE.

Not our Corinne interviewing on Big Undies!!!! So excited to read Famesick.

How do you prep for a colonoscopy without feeling like you’re back on a crash diet?

Flying while fat and/or with small children is hell.

Heated Rivalry book reports!!!

And…spring break travel must-haves!

One thing I absolutely LOVE about Burnt Toast: Our comment section. You don’t all agree with my take (cool!) but you’re all so smart, thoughtful and respectful. Zero trolls, zero nonsense, great conversation that pushed my thinking further? Yes please.

Truly, even if you think you’re a person who doesn’t really do comment sections or chats — our comment sections and chat rooms are a reason to spring for the paid subscription!

Join the conversation!

Meanwhile, on the pod, we have Savala Nolan back for part 2 of our conversation. This time we’re getting into why so many men are “voting booth feminists,” why she’s pro-chivalry, and lots of thoughts about divorce, love and motherhood. It’s SUCH A GOOD ONE, you guys!!

Listen here!

One Good Thing

Over on Big Undies, wrote such a smart piece about the “oversized” clothes trend. It absolutely drives me nuts when something is “fashion” just because it emphasizes someone’s tiny body by making them swim in fabric. (And yet these same brands can’t make plus sizes? Hello?) And yet I am trying to shift myself out of skinny jeans mode and embrace the comfort of bigger clothes even if they make me look bigger.

To that end, this oversized boyfriend cardigan (gag at that name) is getting a lot of wear right now. I’m wearing the 2X and it is, indeed, roomy. It goes up to 3X (the biggest Quince ever goes and not for most of its inventory despite clearly having the ability!). Rest of outfit linked here (affiliate; I found a dupe for the boots bc they’re old and from a brand I’m not shopping rn).

ICYMI, this piece is actually the 4th installment in a series I’ve been writing since last fall called The Sleep Apnea Diaries. I’ve also written about:

Weight stigma and sleep apnea

My fat neck

My experience with two sleep studies

And one cool thing about Patreon is that you can pay less than $15 to read the whole series (plus every new piece I add to it!), without having to become a member. You can also pick and choose and read whichever essays most intrigue you for just $4 a pop.

Or you can subscribe for just $10 per month and get The Sleep Apnea Diaries plus every other paywalled essay and episode in the Burnt Toast universe!

Join Burnt Toast!

Meanwhile on the podcast, we had Queen !!! And yes, you guys, she knows about divorce, ok?

I’ve been having many thoughts about The Lindy Discourse this week, and about how we respond to fat women/women making choices we’re uncomfortable with in public… I may write about that for Tuesday if I can nail it down into something coherent? Stay tuned!

Listen to Lindy on Burnt Toast!

And we’ve also started a new experiment where we release one beloved essay from the archives per month, as a little treat to free subscribers! (Because yes, we love you too!)

So go read the March pick — it’s a juicy one!

One Good Thing

New York had Fake Spring this week and it’s already gone but it WAS perfect Princess Diana Weather!! This romper is both largely weather-impractical and only available up to XXL (which I am wearing) so do with that information what you will, but I think I’ll wear it around the house quite a bit? Rest of outfit linked here.

PS. Making this reel made me laugh so much. But normalize CPAPs! I will die on this hill!

And did a great roundup of excellent therapist advice over on last week, and I was delighted to share mine. 🐈‍⬛

This was a big accomplishment for me because years ago, I had a far ore disordered, “all or nothing” relationship with exercise, and after several years of “all,” had to spend many years in the “nothing” camp to let it all go. I’m now back to working out most days of the week, but with a lot more flexibility and permission to do it on my own terms. If you’ve been struggling to fit exercise into your life in a way that helps but doesn’t harm, you might like the essay. And definitely check out by , who has taught me so much about how to do this!

21 workouts in 30 days

On the podcast, we had part one of the most incredible conversation with , author of the beautiful new book Good Woman: A Reckoning.

We get into Savala’s diet culture journey, the ways anti-fatness serves anti-Blackness, and how it feels to be staying fat in this current moment of Ozempic-fueled body positivity backlash.

Savala Nolan refuses to be good.

In two weeks we’ll be dropping the second half of this conversation — where we get into divorce, sex and Savala’s classy and trashy Butters. That conversation will be for paid subscribers only, so make sure you’re following us on Patreon so you don’t miss out!

Subscribe to Burnt Toast on Patreon!

And I also wrote about that RFK/Kid Rock fever dream, and why, if mediocre skinny men can drink whole milk in a hot tub… we can stop holding ourselves back from taking up space in literally any way.

Want to wear the swimsuit? Get on a horse? Try power lifting? Start online dating? Whatever it is, you can just do it fat.

On Tuesday, I wrote about that NYT body positivity influencer video — the one that went viral last week because it’s a fat person saying she doesn’t want to be fat anymore.

In other words, it’s a video published by a newspaper where absolutely nothing newsworthy happens — because every fat person has wanted, at least in some moments, to stop being fat. That’s what happens when you live in a world at war with your body.

Gabriella Lascano’s take did spark a valuable conversation about what it means to be a body positivity influencer —someone who makes a living selling messages about loving yourself but also, many, many beauty products, clothes, and other consumer goods— and a fat rights activist. Now I’d argue that you can be both, because bopo influencer is a job, and fat rights is a value system. But Lascano is not both and doesn’t appear to have ever been both, and it’s useful for us all to get clearer on the distinctions.

Why Body Positivity Was Never the Answer

Meanwhile on the podcast, Corinne and I are talking about groceries. They are crazy expensive right now! But also, is it normal for a family of five to spend almost $700 on a week’s worth of food?

We also get into our thoughts on meal delivery culture and I dig into my dependency on it and the (baby steps) I’m taking towards cooking at home more. There is a lot of Discourse happening around this topic right now — here’s Corinne’s excellent essay on the case for making some things harder, and here’s with practical tips for cooking more if you want to divest from meal delivery culture.

But I do want to say, clearly, that it’s not a moral failing to rely on delivery or to spend a lot of money on groceries. Disabled folks, stressed out parents, folks navigating eating disorder recovery or food allergies… there are lots of us who need extra support feeding ourselves and our people. And that’s because we’re lacking larger structural supports (thank you capitalism and an all-too-porous social safety net) and often, the kind of community support that would otherwise fill in these gaps. So yes, it’s worth looking at our budgets and our entanglements with bad systems. But it’s a privilege to opt out of those systems, too. And fed is still best!

Why does making dinner cost $700?

PS. Probably tacky to give you an affiliate link after that conversation but I do still use and love the reusable grocery bags pictured above, so do with that what you will!

One Good Thing

Because I am now trying to cook at home more and rely on UberEats less, here is one super delicious and fast dinner we made on Tuesday, and liked it so much we made it again last night. (When I say “we,” I do not include children but your mileage may vary!) As evidenced by my Tuesday essay (above), the NYT is getting an awful lot wrong right now but this recipe for sticky miso salmon bowls, they got right. (Gift link!)

Here’s my take (and a roundup of the best takes) ICYMI.

Mike Tyson WTF

And then RFK doubled down with this… situation. I just cannot with the way these men are using actual government jobs to live out their most deranged fantasies. We get it, buddy. You work out in jeans! You only eat between noon and 7pm! You’re almost as badass as a professional boxer!

Sir, I might be fat, but at least I’d never cosplay a sexual predator. (Though is it even a costume if you work for the Trump administration?) Let alone try to convince us that you’re doing it…because you care about our health? Are ears even that high in protein? Stay in your lane with the beef tallow, pls.

For something lighter, I tried to write about Martha Stewart’s personal Instagram, which has long been a source of absurdity and delight.

But while researching the piece, I discovered she’s in the Epstein files, which made things take a darker turn.

Read the whole thing here.

WYD Martha

And on the pod, and I get into the state of the GLP-1 discourse right now. Because it’s getting messy!

We get into the ableism of not wanting to be on medication for the rest of your life, as well as the expectation adjustments a lot of folks on GLP-1s are going through right now.

We also discuss hot cheese and whether Corinne should have kept the trad wife dress she ordered. Listen here!

GLP-1 Mess & Nap Dresses

One Good Thing

It’s still VERY cold, spring is ages away, and my Internet has been crashing out all week… so I will be living in these cozy and very bright pink sweats until further notice. (H/T who told me about the pants!)

(Full credit to who broke this story and has put in countless hours sifting through all of Attia’s emails and his subsequent “apology.”)

In Attia’s statement this week, he describes the version of himself who made jokes like “pussy is, indeed, low-carb” as “naive” and “juvenile.” He claims not to have known who Epstein really was — even though their friendship and correspondence all took place after Epstein’s 2008 criminal conviction and subsequent jail sentence for soliciting prostitution from a minor.

This naivety — the performative shock and disgust that of course now that we know, we’re appalled — has been mirrored across the longevity and wellness industries this week. Which is to say: People working in, and profiting from, diet culture seem very surprised to learn that an associate of theirs could behave immorally. But nothing about this is surprising. As I wrote on Tuesday:

Diet culture is about rigorously controlling bodies at any cost. It is especially about rigorously controlling female bodies. It celebrates young, thin female bodies but also cages them, as Diana Fox Tilson wrote about so well recently. And diet culture conditions men to go hard and discipline themselves relentlessly in order to feel like gods who can do anything.

So it is not surprising that a doctor who wants to live forever would be entangled with a billionaire rapist.

And it’s not naivety. It’s not gullibility. And it’s for sure not innocence.

Read the rest of the piece here.

When Diet Culture Becomes Rape Culture

But to end your week on a better note, here’s this week’s podcast conversation with the delightful Lauren Muhlheim, Psy.D.

Lauren is my top go-to resource for all things eating disorders and teenagers. She’s the author of several helpful books and has been working to make eating disorder treatment less fatphobic. We get into how GLP-1s are complicating treatment, and what to do if your own kiddo is starting to sneak food or show other warning signs. Lots of useful info in this one!

And: Here’s a fun peek into my house, where I recently hung some great flower art painted by good friends.

(Links to most things in that picture can be found here.) Because it’s rough out there right now, and we need to find the warmth where we can.

They raised $2600 and I said let’s see what Burnt Toast can add! So far we’ve raised another $350, but I know we can get their total over $3K — or more!!

Donate even $5 if you can and email me your receipt (virginiasolesmith at gmail).

Support immigrant legal aid!

We’ve also been busy calling our reps and as of this writing, Senate Democrats succeeded in blocking the DHS funding bill that would have given another $10 billion to ICE. But this fight is far from over, so keep calling! Here’s a script.

Meanwhile, I wrote about struggling to prioritize rest when the world is…this. Here’s why I’m nevertheless teaching myself to nap.

Naptime is necessary!

And because you probably need a fun distraction right now, Corinne and I made a podcast episode that is mostly her thoughts on Heated Rivalry and a roll call of all of our pets.

Pets + Gay Hockey Ur Welcome

Plus One Good Thing

Grumpy Little Walks still help, even in six degrees. I wish it wasn’t so!

This week on the pod, we’re getting into another white man’s diet advice: Don’t be a restaurant critic (they’re saying it’s “the hardest job in America?!”), do cut out all added sugar.

My advice: Don’t take diet tips from white men who have never tried to feed themselves while working actually hard jobs (and I am sure, at least in RFK’s case, have never had to directly manage feeding a family either). But if you want to hear us rant about this plus The New York Times ripping off Cosmo circa 2004 plus justice for basset hounds… we got you!

Listen to the Pete Wells Diet ep here!

If you, like me, have been glued to the news out of Minnesota and feeling helpless and rage-y, then Tuesday’s newsletter will help.

We highlighted a whole list of anti-ICE orgs to support, as well as some delightfully fat positive Minnesota businesses you can help stay in business while they fight fascism!

And I talked about these waffles, which I ate for breakfast last Sunday and again for dinner last night:

Plus One Good Thing

We are back in a board game era at my house! If board games are a nightmare with your kiddos, my advice is to look for games that are more collaborative than competitive and/or just stop and wait till they are older. They work now, at ages 8 and 12, in a way they absolutely did not a few years ago, your mileage may vary! But fwiw, right now, they are our go-to after dinner hang mode.

Current favorites: Hues & Cues, pictured above, which is sort of thoughtful and chill and also very pretty but can be funny too. And Telestrations which is like Pictionary meets Telephone and just straight up hilarious, especially when played with an intergenerational group.

On Tuesday, I wrote about RFK Jr’s quest to constipate America by convincing us all to eat as gym bros do — ALL PROTEIN, ALL THE TIME.

To be clear, I enjoy protein and eat it daily. I do not enjoy the government telling parents to feed our families in ways that are unsustainable (lolol no added sugar under age 10) and more expensive (have you seen the price of meat?). And I especially do not enjoy a government-sponsored guilt trip about how to be “healthy” from the same administration that is throwing out childhood vaccine schedules, cutting off food stamps and healthcare subsidies on a whim, and shooting American citizens in the street.

Read Men End War On Protein here

Fortunately, on Thursday, we had the great Melani Sanders on the podcast.

Melani is founder of the We Do Not Care Club and wow, do I need more do not care energy right now!!!! To be clear, what Melani does not care about is external expectations about weight loss, house cleanliness, and being the perfect wife/mother/woman. This frees us up plenty for caring about important stuff like our own needs and saving democracy!

We Do Not Care Club on BT!

You can catch all of the above and more by joining our Patreon! Or read individual essays like my RFK rant for as little as $3.

Plus One Good Thing

Corinne and I are both longtime fans of the sustainable cashmere brand Naadam and they just sent me this dreamy soft alpaca sweater, now on big sale! (Up to XXL, which I’m wearing; ofc I wish they did full plus sizes on everything but FWIW I also love this cropped zip-up hoodie, which goes to 3X, and Jack loves their cashmere pants, up to men’s XXL, would def work for all genders).

You can catch part 1 here and part 2 here. Because these essays contain private medical information, they are paywalled — but if a monthly Burnt Toast membership isn’t right for you, you can pay just $10 to read the whole series.

Read The Sleep Apnea Diaries!

And here’s a sneak peek at part 3…

In my last installment of The Sleep Apnea Diaries, I reported that my doctor prescribed a sleep study and told me to wait 2-4 weeks or so for insurance approval.

Well friends, I dutifully waited through the rest of September. And then into October. Every week or so, I called their office and was told they were still working on insurance approval. And this after I agreed to be weighed purely to make the insurance approval process easier! Finally around the sixth or seventh week, I got a call: “Your insurance won’t pay for lab study, but you can do a home sleep study!” They told me. This wasn’t a surprise; Dr. K said she preferred lab studies for greater detail and accuracy but that basically no insurance company wants to pay for them now, especially for first timers. I was personally not sad to skip sleeping in a lab/having to arrange childcare to make that feasible.

Also not a surprise: “Your insurance approved the test but it will only cover it if you’ve met your deductible.” In other words: It took your insurance company almost two months to give you permission to do a test they won’t actually pay for. That’s just having a body in America though!

The surprising part was what I heard next: “We will have a sleep test ready to mail out to you the first week of January.” Dear readers, it was not yet Halloween. And let’s remember the whole point of getting sleep apnea diagnosed and treated is to make sure someone is getting enough oxygen while they sleep. Casually waiting through 3 more months of oxygen deprivation? This is what drives people (me) to telehealth.

Read the Tale of Two Sleep Studies!

PS. Paid Burnt Toast subscribers also get access to our Team CPAP chat room, where a whole bunch of sleep apnea-having Burnt Toasties are posting our questions and trading tips and CPAP wisdom. Come join us!

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Of course the best way to support Burnt Toast is still with an ongoing paid subscription. But the ability to pay to read just one thing is something SO MANY OF YOUHAVE ASKED FOR over the years! None of us can subscribe to every creator we love! Sometimes, you just want to get behind the paywall right now, on this one thing... and not get into a committed relationship.

Call it one night stand reading. Booty call listening.

Enter the Burnt Toast Shop, where you can browse all of our paywalled content, now individually priced!

Here are a few recent pieces you might have missed:

• You don’t need to eat like Marion Nestle.

• Why standing pants are different from sitting pants.

• How I’m navigating a lot of what-to-wear anxiety right now.

• The Rise and Fall of Lee Tilghman, America’s Smoothie Bowl Queen

• And yes… even my divorce essay is in there.

You can also pay JUST $5 to listen to any of these super popular episodes:

• Can Katie Sturino Be a Body Acceptance Advocate...Who Works for Weight Watchers?

• Mel Robbins Has a PhD in Diet Culture

• Does Dr. Becky Have a Privilege Problem?

• The Curious Evolution of Emily Oster

• Plus all of our other paywalled episodes here.

Find it all on Patreon!

Plus One Good Thing

Every season, I love to hone in on a weekday uniform — something I can throw on to work from home, drive kids to activities, and basically never think a minute further about what I’m wearing. This combo, featuring my forever favorite joggers is IT for this fall/winter. (I swap the Birk slippers for cute sneakers when I leave the house.) Rest of outfit here.

And you can see everything else I’ve been wearing this fall right here.

Find it all on Patreon!

The porch pumpkins, which started out so chic, are now becoming a not-so-secret shame spot, a concept we discussed in the latest Indulgence Gospel along with a question asked that really blew my mind: Why are sitting pants not the same as standing pants? Because they aren’t! They just aren’t!

Related, I got into a lot of thoughts about pants—and whether I have finally, truly, broken up with skinny jeans—in today’s Fall Outfit Report.

And I haven’t so much BEGUN my holiday shopping, but I did make you a pretty great Burnt Toast Gift Guide.

All this and much more over on Burnt Toast’s Patreon — you know where to find us!

Today’s podcast conversation is with , author of Unapologetic Aging: How to Mend and Nourish Your Relationship with Your Body

Deb is a registered dietitian/nutritionist with 40 years of experience helping people heal their relationship with food, movement and their bodies. Her work sits at the intersection of anti-ageism, body liberation and trauma-informed care, offering a radically compassionate alternative to diet and wellness culture—especially for those in midlife and beyond.

After turning 60, Deb began questioning the dominant narratives around aging, vitality and beauty, and quickly realized the majority of resources still centered weight loss and youthful appearance as the ultimate goals. In response, she created what she couldn’t find: A framework for nourishing the body that honors body respect, prioritizes liberation and embraces the full spectrum of aging.

Deb came on the podcast back in 2023 and we had what was really the first, or certainly one of the first, conversations we’ve had on Burnt Toast about the intersection of ageism and anti-fat bias. That discussion helped lay the foundation for how we’re continuing to talk about those issues. Deb is someone I always turn to for resources and wisdom as we’re navigating those conversations here.

I am so thrilled to have Deb back on the podcast today, to talk about her new book, how diet culture has hijacked the menopause discourse… and why PB&Js are actually giving you all the protein you need.

Listen on Patreon!

Unapologetic Aging comes out on December 16, so now is the perfect time to pre-order it as a holiday gift for yourself, your mom, or anyone you know in midlife and beyond!

And don’t forget that if you’ve bought Fat Talk from Split Rock Books, you can take 10% off your purchase of Unapologetic Aging there too — just use the code FATTALK at checkout.