The Venn diagram of people wearing weighted vests and the ones preaching about how a few extra pounds are so bad for your joints probably has a lot of overlap
Two things that have helped me keep perspective on the whole menopause hype cycle:
1. Dr Jen Gunter (who is great and evidence based on menopause in general) has a few posts about how a lot of the changes that get attributed to perimenopause are just…aging. And I’ve seen this firsthand because I’m 51 but still on the pill for various health reasons, so I have not yet experienced the hormonal changes of perimenopause, yet I have also gained weight in the last 5-10 years, and have seen my energy levels shift, and changes in my hair, and even now have osteopenia. So I know from experience that menopause is not the source of all evil and hormone therapy, while great in many ways, is not some magical fountain of youth.
2. My primary care doctor told me straight up that her older patients do better when they are “heftier”—better able to weather illness, less frail. She’d rather me be sturdier as I age, which has really helped me feel neutral about how my body is changing at this stage of my life. I also see how frail and unsteady my own mother is in her 80s and so I lift weights to avoid that fate.
Yes! I’m 56 so there wasn’t as much perimenopause info available 10-15 years ago. My early peri issues weren’t that much different than what men in their 40s complained about, and the weirder ones were also short lived and fairly minor (itchy ears). The bigger ones were things that got worse in peri or menopause but were there before (hypothyroidism, ADHD) I’m glad that they were treated rather than simply assuming everything was due to hormonal shifts.
I think people also ignore the fact that a lot of high stress things can happen to people in their late 40s and 50’s. Menopause wasn’t fun but TBH dealing with the COVID pandemic, death of my husband, my parents’ eldercare issues and now the Trump administration attack on women’s rights and scientific research were much larger problems for me and coincided exactly with the last stages of peri and first years of official menopause. I’d take more belly fat and night sweats if I had to option to skip the general life stress
100% on the life stress. Do you have brain fog, or are you juggling eldercare, kids heading off to college, a full-time job, and the weight of the world?
I have worked with elderly people for a long time and have seen that people who have some weight to them do live longer, including my own grandmother. Another common factor for living longer is still being interested in doing things like gardening, walking, card games, whatever literally gets you out of bed.
I also love Dr Gunter. Because I read her book, I was able to correct my primary doc for giving me the wrong prescription (i still have a uterus, and I had an IUD, but not the hormonal kind). If I had just gone ahead without reading up on it, I would have been putting myself at risk. She has information but she is not selling supplements- that's why I trust her.
Yep higher BMIs (hate this classification for bodies) in the o***weight category are actually correlated with decreased risk of morbidity and mortality. I think normal and stage I o*esity BMIs have about the same risk. And losing weight in advanced age is correlated with reduced muscle mass and worse health outcomes overall. Whenever I see someone over 60-65 years old talk about intentional weight loss it makes me want to scream into a pillow.
I have been full caftan for a few years now. My grandmother had the best 70s caftans!!
I'm a dietitian suffering through the waves of peri menopausal women showing up in my (fully non diet) practice wanting to know how to lose the belly fat and I tell them that if I knew how to do that, I'd have one client, her name would be Oprah, and I'd have a mansion in Malibu. None of which I have!! Oprah's on the drugs! If Oprah with all her money can't do it without the drugs, no one can!!
I think the support that's lacking is for women to understand that you are no longer the person you were. Every phase of life, we are different people, in all the ways, physically, emotionally, intellectually. It's okay that we aren't "pretty" anymore (so subjective anyway) or looking like we have a younger woman's body. It's normal! Expected! Someone, get us a red tent for menopause please!
Ooof this hit hard. I will be 50 in a few days and am feeling all of that pressure that I thought I had fought off in my 40s, especially just getting diagnosed with prediabetes and having a family history of heart disease and etc etc. I was thinking about a deep dive on continuous glucose monitors for non-diabetics and I am hoping either/both you or Maintenance Phase will help me out!
However, I want this tattooed on me:
“We need to remember that these things, eating protein, lifting weight, it’s supposed to support you living the life you want to live. It’s not a gold star you need to get every day to be valuable as a person.”
The line about strength being used as a proxy for weight loss really resonated with me. I see this constantly in the “empowered aging” space, messages that sound body-positive but still hinge on changing our bodies to be more palatable. And it makes me sad, because so many women are genuinely seeking relief and support, not another version of diet culture in disguise.
I just wanted to say thank you for voicing this so clearly. You’re right, we need more menopause voices who aren’t selling weight loss (or eight supplements a day). I’m here for that conversation.
Thank you, Dr Jenn, for being out there in the world right now. I often find myself thinking about a phrase I associate with you & your podcast, where you ask guests about the "missing ingredient" in midlife. When I find myself being lured - or longing for! - the false control or promise of restricting, counting or tracking - I try to ask myself that question.
So glad you’re really exploring this topic further! If you’re looking for another perimenopause perspective from a healthcare practitioner, Dr Jenn Salib Huber of The Midlife Feast podcast and @menopause.nutritionist on IG is great. She’s a naturopathic doctor and registered dietitian. We were in the same cohort for our Intuitive Eating counselor certification, so I can definitely vouch for her non-diet perspective.
Dr Mary Claire Haver frustrates me because while she has an appealing vibe and provides some great info about perimenopause, the Galveston Diet is ridiculously restrictive. I’ve had clients who have worked with her and felt incredibly triggered by the dietary recommendations.
I feel conflicted about the increased awareness around perimenopause- like yes, let’s have more research and more people talking about women’s health! Reduce the shame and stigma, empower women. Unfortunately, this also allows for the diet and wellness industries to capitalize off of this “hot topic” and promote things like protein tracking, supplements, and weight loss medications. We’re increasingly vulnerable in a space that lacks scientific evidence and is rife with misinformation. Combine that with anti-fat bias and ageism and you’ve got the shitstorm we now find ourselves trying to navigate. It’s exhausting.
Plus 1 for Dr Jenn Salib Huber - I took her workshop and it pretty much set me on the non-diet, actually supportive, here-are-the-options path I’ve been on for the past few years. Her work is so helpful.
I share in this frustration with professionals being so helpful in some ways and then they ruin it with diet culture. I recently experienced this with a coach that does a podcast about healing from trauma and toxic relationships. She has helped me so much in so many ways. And then she did an episode with Dr. Mark Sherwood who advocates for the paleo diet and supplements as helpful tools in trauma healing. WTF!
Now I’m struggling with if I keep listening to her or recommending her. Ugh! I’m glad I’m not alone in this mess.
Yes to Dr. Jenn Salib Huber! I did a training with her to be more knowledgeable about menopause without the diet/weight loss piece and she was fantastic.
Great ep! I went to a training on reproductive psychiatry which contained some menopause and perimenopause content which was mostly great, but I do remember being disappointed that it was diet infused/had some weight focus. Also, have you found the We Do Not Care Club content yet? It’s very delightful. And despite being in my early 30s and not quite in this life stage yet I have found it very relatable and feel like I don’t really want to delay my giving less fucks era until I’m perimenopausal.
I wish I could remember where I heard the concept of a woman's midlife middle being potentially a literal life-preserver—sort of our back-up estrogen pack, if you will. Yet there is so much fear-mongering about "visceral" belly fat, which gets layered with ageism and diet culture, so it's very confusing. Folks have probably heard of the "body roundness index" (BRI) being proposed as an alternative to BMI. Imagine trading the scale for a measuring tape in the doctor's office. What could go wrong?
I loved that you called out the cruel switcheroo of getting to the stage of life where we had expected more freedom and self-acceptance only to have modern diet and wellness culture double down on us.
Maybe we need a thread on favorite places to find caftans!
I used to recommend Dr. MCH all the time, but as soon as she came out with her supplements AND appeared on Huberman, I took a huge step back. In all honesty, the Huberman bit was worse than the supplements. Most supplements that people put their names on are already available. Most, of course, not all.
I was surprised to not hear that part of the fear of aging/perimenopause/“weight redistribution” is that women’s value has been measured by our potential to reproduce. God forbid our curves are in the wrong places, indicating to all that that ship has sailed. Ugh.
I have horrible night sweats already at 39, and while I try to be body-neutral (with body privilege), I’m obsessively looking for body change “signs” that will give me a leg to stand on in the doctor’s office… and pinching my waist in the mirror is just a bad way to spend time.
We had an above ground pool and came home late one summer night. It was past bedtime and the kids were sweaty and dirty. Instead of fighting baths, I told them to strip to their undies in the yard and do a pool bath. They thought it was hysterical, eagerly jumped in and were "clean" and ready for pj's in just a few minutes!
Even though I am definitely perimenopausal based on my hormone levels and symptoms I think I am only just going through the outward physical portal of it all and I'm not excited to see how I react to this. I AM glad to be one of the members of the "We do not care" club (see: Melani Sanders) with regards to stuff like protein macros and whatnot. There is just too much shit to worry about and I have not gotten to this point in life only to eat a ton of chicken breasts and salmon
I saw my midwife this month and told her I was wondering if I was starting perimenopause and she laughed and said "you're over 40, if you're asking me that you probably are in it already."
Yes to Dr Gunter. I feel like she cuts through the bullshit and explains the actual research.
I’ve explained to my husband about all the influencer stuff about weighted vests and he came home the other day telling me about all the people he saw walking with them on!
I have terrible night sweats at the same time in my cycle each month and it’s the worst! I keep getting IG ads for cooling blankets…anyone have one? 🤪
This was such a great conversation! Cole, you are a delightful guest! I appreciate how you named the confusion that comes from the messaging. It is crazy making at times. I agree with others that Dr. Jen Gunter is a source of menopause info for me, she doesn’t sell supplements, yet there is the occasional mention of something that feels “diet-y” to me. Maybe it was related to fiber intake or something food related. Cole, I love what you said, “I feel better when I eat…” The truth and simplicity of this! I felt myself laughing and crying multiple times during this episode. I need more of these talks! Thank you both.
I’ve had the same reaction to Dr Gunter- I can’t even remember what it was, but whatever it was made me immediately write her off as the wrong kind of information supplier for me…
The Venn diagram of people wearing weighted vests and the ones preaching about how a few extra pounds are so bad for your joints probably has a lot of overlap
Exactly this!
Holy. Crap. I hadn’t thought of that but of course!
Two things that have helped me keep perspective on the whole menopause hype cycle:
1. Dr Jen Gunter (who is great and evidence based on menopause in general) has a few posts about how a lot of the changes that get attributed to perimenopause are just…aging. And I’ve seen this firsthand because I’m 51 but still on the pill for various health reasons, so I have not yet experienced the hormonal changes of perimenopause, yet I have also gained weight in the last 5-10 years, and have seen my energy levels shift, and changes in my hair, and even now have osteopenia. So I know from experience that menopause is not the source of all evil and hormone therapy, while great in many ways, is not some magical fountain of youth.
2. My primary care doctor told me straight up that her older patients do better when they are “heftier”—better able to weather illness, less frail. She’d rather me be sturdier as I age, which has really helped me feel neutral about how my body is changing at this stage of my life. I also see how frail and unsteady my own mother is in her 80s and so I lift weights to avoid that fate.
Yes! I’m 56 so there wasn’t as much perimenopause info available 10-15 years ago. My early peri issues weren’t that much different than what men in their 40s complained about, and the weirder ones were also short lived and fairly minor (itchy ears). The bigger ones were things that got worse in peri or menopause but were there before (hypothyroidism, ADHD) I’m glad that they were treated rather than simply assuming everything was due to hormonal shifts.
I think people also ignore the fact that a lot of high stress things can happen to people in their late 40s and 50’s. Menopause wasn’t fun but TBH dealing with the COVID pandemic, death of my husband, my parents’ eldercare issues and now the Trump administration attack on women’s rights and scientific research were much larger problems for me and coincided exactly with the last stages of peri and first years of official menopause. I’d take more belly fat and night sweats if I had to option to skip the general life stress
100% on the life stress. Do you have brain fog, or are you juggling eldercare, kids heading off to college, a full-time job, and the weight of the world?
Love Dr Gunter!
I have worked with elderly people for a long time and have seen that people who have some weight to them do live longer, including my own grandmother. Another common factor for living longer is still being interested in doing things like gardening, walking, card games, whatever literally gets you out of bed.
I also love Dr Gunter. Because I read her book, I was able to correct my primary doc for giving me the wrong prescription (i still have a uterus, and I had an IUD, but not the hormonal kind). If I had just gone ahead without reading up on it, I would have been putting myself at risk. She has information but she is not selling supplements- that's why I trust her.
Dr Gunter is great! And yeah I have osteoporosis and have been told to gain muscle which means gain weight which means track protein
TW for stigmatizing o-words:
Yep higher BMIs (hate this classification for bodies) in the o***weight category are actually correlated with decreased risk of morbidity and mortality. I think normal and stage I o*esity BMIs have about the same risk. And losing weight in advanced age is correlated with reduced muscle mass and worse health outcomes overall. Whenever I see someone over 60-65 years old talk about intentional weight loss it makes me want to scream into a pillow.
I have been full caftan for a few years now. My grandmother had the best 70s caftans!!
I'm a dietitian suffering through the waves of peri menopausal women showing up in my (fully non diet) practice wanting to know how to lose the belly fat and I tell them that if I knew how to do that, I'd have one client, her name would be Oprah, and I'd have a mansion in Malibu. None of which I have!! Oprah's on the drugs! If Oprah with all her money can't do it without the drugs, no one can!!
I think the support that's lacking is for women to understand that you are no longer the person you were. Every phase of life, we are different people, in all the ways, physically, emotionally, intellectually. It's okay that we aren't "pretty" anymore (so subjective anyway) or looking like we have a younger woman's body. It's normal! Expected! Someone, get us a red tent for menopause please!
Thank you for this reminder. I’m going to pin this so I can look at it on my more spiralling, catastrophizing days.
Ooof this hit hard. I will be 50 in a few days and am feeling all of that pressure that I thought I had fought off in my 40s, especially just getting diagnosed with prediabetes and having a family history of heart disease and etc etc. I was thinking about a deep dive on continuous glucose monitors for non-diabetics and I am hoping either/both you or Maintenance Phase will help me out!
However, I want this tattooed on me:
“We need to remember that these things, eating protein, lifting weight, it’s supposed to support you living the life you want to live. It’s not a gold star you need to get every day to be valuable as a person.”
Thank you!
When I read those sentences, my first thought was, someone gets it!
The line about strength being used as a proxy for weight loss really resonated with me. I see this constantly in the “empowered aging” space, messages that sound body-positive but still hinge on changing our bodies to be more palatable. And it makes me sad, because so many women are genuinely seeking relief and support, not another version of diet culture in disguise.
I just wanted to say thank you for voicing this so clearly. You’re right, we need more menopause voices who aren’t selling weight loss (or eight supplements a day). I’m here for that conversation.
Excited to follow your work in this space!
Thank you, Dr Jenn, for being out there in the world right now. I often find myself thinking about a phrase I associate with you & your podcast, where you ask guests about the "missing ingredient" in midlife. When I find myself being lured - or longing for! - the false control or promise of restricting, counting or tracking - I try to ask myself that question.
Oh, thanks for this Nancy! I really love this.
So glad you’re really exploring this topic further! If you’re looking for another perimenopause perspective from a healthcare practitioner, Dr Jenn Salib Huber of The Midlife Feast podcast and @menopause.nutritionist on IG is great. She’s a naturopathic doctor and registered dietitian. We were in the same cohort for our Intuitive Eating counselor certification, so I can definitely vouch for her non-diet perspective.
Dr Mary Claire Haver frustrates me because while she has an appealing vibe and provides some great info about perimenopause, the Galveston Diet is ridiculously restrictive. I’ve had clients who have worked with her and felt incredibly triggered by the dietary recommendations.
I feel conflicted about the increased awareness around perimenopause- like yes, let’s have more research and more people talking about women’s health! Reduce the shame and stigma, empower women. Unfortunately, this also allows for the diet and wellness industries to capitalize off of this “hot topic” and promote things like protein tracking, supplements, and weight loss medications. We’re increasingly vulnerable in a space that lacks scientific evidence and is rife with misinformation. Combine that with anti-fat bias and ageism and you’ve got the shitstorm we now find ourselves trying to navigate. It’s exhausting.
Dr. Jenn Salib Huber has been really helpful to me too.
Plus 1 for Dr Jenn Salib Huber - I took her workshop and it pretty much set me on the non-diet, actually supportive, here-are-the-options path I’ve been on for the past few years. Her work is so helpful.
I share in this frustration with professionals being so helpful in some ways and then they ruin it with diet culture. I recently experienced this with a coach that does a podcast about healing from trauma and toxic relationships. She has helped me so much in so many ways. And then she did an episode with Dr. Mark Sherwood who advocates for the paleo diet and supplements as helpful tools in trauma healing. WTF!
Now I’m struggling with if I keep listening to her or recommending her. Ugh! I’m glad I’m not alone in this mess.
Yes to Dr. Jenn Salib Huber! I did a training with her to be more knowledgeable about menopause without the diet/weight loss piece and she was fantastic.
Great ep! I went to a training on reproductive psychiatry which contained some menopause and perimenopause content which was mostly great, but I do remember being disappointed that it was diet infused/had some weight focus. Also, have you found the We Do Not Care Club content yet? It’s very delightful. And despite being in my early 30s and not quite in this life stage yet I have found it very relatable and feel like I don’t really want to delay my giving less fucks era until I’m perimenopausal.
Instagram just showed me them yesterday! Love!
I’m 62 and I endorse the Give Fewer Fucks Now Club. The earlier, the better.
I wish I could remember where I heard the concept of a woman's midlife middle being potentially a literal life-preserver—sort of our back-up estrogen pack, if you will. Yet there is so much fear-mongering about "visceral" belly fat, which gets layered with ageism and diet culture, so it's very confusing. Folks have probably heard of the "body roundness index" (BRI) being proposed as an alternative to BMI. Imagine trading the scale for a measuring tape in the doctor's office. What could go wrong?
I loved that you called out the cruel switcheroo of getting to the stage of life where we had expected more freedom and self-acceptance only to have modern diet and wellness culture double down on us.
Maybe we need a thread on favorite places to find caftans!
Yessss, VSS please do a caftan post!
I used to recommend Dr. MCH all the time, but as soon as she came out with her supplements AND appeared on Huberman, I took a huge step back. In all honesty, the Huberman bit was worse than the supplements. Most supplements that people put their names on are already available. Most, of course, not all.
I was surprised to not hear that part of the fear of aging/perimenopause/“weight redistribution” is that women’s value has been measured by our potential to reproduce. God forbid our curves are in the wrong places, indicating to all that that ship has sailed. Ugh.
I have horrible night sweats already at 39, and while I try to be body-neutral (with body privilege), I’m obsessively looking for body change “signs” that will give me a leg to stand on in the doctor’s office… and pinching my waist in the mirror is just a bad way to spend time.
We had an above ground pool and came home late one summer night. It was past bedtime and the kids were sweaty and dirty. Instead of fighting baths, I told them to strip to their undies in the yard and do a pool bath. They thought it was hysterical, eagerly jumped in and were "clean" and ready for pj's in just a few minutes!
Even though I am definitely perimenopausal based on my hormone levels and symptoms I think I am only just going through the outward physical portal of it all and I'm not excited to see how I react to this. I AM glad to be one of the members of the "We do not care" club (see: Melani Sanders) with regards to stuff like protein macros and whatnot. There is just too much shit to worry about and I have not gotten to this point in life only to eat a ton of chicken breasts and salmon
I saw my midwife this month and told her I was wondering if I was starting perimenopause and she laughed and said "you're over 40, if you're asking me that you probably are in it already."
If a doctor (or any other clinical person) sells supplements or promotes supplements, that is an IMMEDIATE block and unfollow from me.
Yes to Dr Gunter. I feel like she cuts through the bullshit and explains the actual research.
I’ve explained to my husband about all the influencer stuff about weighted vests and he came home the other day telling me about all the people he saw walking with them on!
I have terrible night sweats at the same time in my cycle each month and it’s the worst! I keep getting IG ads for cooling blankets…anyone have one? 🤪
This was such a great conversation! Cole, you are a delightful guest! I appreciate how you named the confusion that comes from the messaging. It is crazy making at times. I agree with others that Dr. Jen Gunter is a source of menopause info for me, she doesn’t sell supplements, yet there is the occasional mention of something that feels “diet-y” to me. Maybe it was related to fiber intake or something food related. Cole, I love what you said, “I feel better when I eat…” The truth and simplicity of this! I felt myself laughing and crying multiple times during this episode. I need more of these talks! Thank you both.
I’ve had the same reaction to Dr Gunter- I can’t even remember what it was, but whatever it was made me immediately write her off as the wrong kind of information supplier for me…