Everything I Put On My Face
Plus notes on how I use this stuff and why are makeup product names so cringe!
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Standard disclaimer that it feels somewhat absurd to talk about makeup while California (home to 13 pecent of of our beloved Burnt Toasties!) is on literal fire. Here’s a master list of resources and ways to help; I’ve been donating to GoFundMes, and made a bigger donation to This Is About Humanity, which is raising funds for farmworkers, day laborers, essential workers and families impacted by the fires.
More locally/far less high stakes, I’m now getting over the flu my kid brought home last week, so…talking about makeup is basically all my brain can handle right now! I absolutely loved reading your comments on Friday’s essay about why I — a lifelong no makeup person— am suddenly into it. (Yes, online dating is partly why.)
So, I Think I Like Makeup Now?
And many of you asked for more details about what I’m using and how. So… here you go!
1. Iconic London Underglow Blurring Primer
What even is primer? How is it not just foundation or concealer? Why would I want one that blurred? I would never, ever have thought to buy something so obtuse but
recommended it because her best friend told her to get it, and as discussed, I love a community-sourced beauty rec.Here’s what I do with it: Mix a dollop with my sunscreen or face moisturizer and rub it all over my face in place of foundation. It adds a nice glow and sort of makes my skin look more smooth. Plus one day I wore it to my hair salon and a very chic 20-something stylist complimented my makeup, which was possibly a highlight of my year.
2. Benefit Cosmetics Boi-ing Cakeless Concealer
We’ll skip over the creepy cutesyness of “boi-ing,” because this product does at least, clearly communicate its purpose. It’s an easy to use concealer, which I have now learned, is basically just foundation you dab in specific spots. I use it on my undereye circles and breakouts and I do use it after the blurring primer/foundation.
3. Jones Road Miracle Balm
Another terribly named product! What annoys me about the marketing of this product (which def has a cult following) is that they label it as “all-over glow” as if that is somehow different from blush but… I think it is just blush! Jones Road tells me I can wear it alone or “layer on top of foundation” and apply to cheeks and lips so…yes, that’s blush. But it’s a very pretty, glowy blush and I don’t seem to use too much or make clown circles. I have it in Pinched Cheeks (see! Blush!) and Flushed (okay you get my point).
4. Burt’s Bees Lip Shine
I’ve been wearing this drugstore lip gloss since ohhh 2006 because it is clearly named, moisturizes, and you can’t mess up applying it like a real lipstick. I have it in Pucker and Smooch, but I just call them “pink” and “darker pink” because I don’t need lipgloss to be cute about it.
5. Tarte Fake Awake Eye Highlighter
gets full credit for bringing this gem into my life. You draw it along your lower eyelid’s waterline (yes I know that sounds gross!) and it immediately makes you look much more awake. This is useful for potheads (not me but enjoy), people with allergies (that’s me!), or children who wake them up too much (also me!). I will say, if you aren’t also doing some undereye concealer, it’s not worth it and can look more “drawn on,” but the combo is magical. (I don’t understand why it only comes in white or peach though, there are surely many other tones of waterline???)6. L’Oreal AIRvolume Mega Mascara
I have tried some fancier mascaras recently and they all smudge in five minutes. This drugstore brand is waterproof and decently smudge-proof, and yet still wipes off easily with a makeup remover wipe at the end of the day. (I am not a nighttime face washer, judge me all you want.)
7. Milk Kush Fiber Brow Gel
I will never pretend to understand eyebrows, but I have a lot of them and they can be quite unruly. This kind of plasters everything into place so they stay tidy and the brown blends with my actual brow color so they don’t look drawn on. Pretty sure this was also either a
or rec. Thanks friends!You’ll also find this full list linked over on my ShopMy.
Hopefully this is the right place for a middle-aged makeup neophyte to ask the question that I have googled a million times and am still confused by: how do I figure out what color foundation/concealer to buy??
On the question of whether wearing makeup is bowing to the gods of Patriarchy: It certainly can be that, but I grew up in a world where makeup was only for Rebellious Slutty Bitches, so wearing eyeshadow was the entirety of my teenage rebellion. Openly drawing attention to a part of my body was my first real feminist moment. I note that makeup is considered ‘cheating’ by women even today in certain horrible male spaces. My experience isn’t universal, but I think it’s important to mention this in any discussion of patriarchal standards of beauty.
And now for some much lighter content: my favorite makeup brands are Clinique and MAC. Clinique is mostly skincare, but their foundation is spectacular. They also have color corrector and tinted moisturizer that just take a little redness off and feel nice. Both lines have amazing lipstick, too. My favorite is MAC Lustreglass in “Pigment of Your Imagination,” which is a light pink shade. “PDA,” a brick red, is also great. I discovered that color when I was working on Zoom all the time and noticed that without lipcolor I looked like Lord Voldemort on camera — no lips, just a gaping maw. (I supervised some people at the time and told them that while I couldn’t require it, I suggested that everyone get some tinted lip balm at least. Cameras wash out faces and a little marketing would always help.)