Just... How Are You?
Tell us your voting plan. Tell us what you're stress eating. Today is a lot.
A little later this morning, I’ll pick my kids up from their dad’s house and we’ll all go vote at our local firehouse. Early voting is so important and we could have gone at any time in the past two weeks. But I waited until Election Day because my 7-year-old is not GREAT with a calendar and I knew as soon as I voted, they would start asking if Kamala Harris won. And we won’t know that before I put them to bed tonight, and may not know that for many, many days! So I needed to control what I could about how long their (and my) anxiety spiral can last.
How is it this fucking close?
How is it possible that this country might re-elect this terrifying bigoted narcissist, this time accompanied by another narcissist with an even creepier agenda?
How is it possible that we’re raising daughters with fewer rights than their grandmothers had?
How is it this fucking close?
I don’t have anything to say that you aren’t already thinking or reading everywhere else, but I do have three useful reads in case you missed them:
wrote about how to talk to your kids about the election.
has five great coping strategies for us. (I’ve done the vigorous physical activity, so now it’s time to take to my bed, I guess!)
And is giving me reasons to hope.
So now let’s chat about what’s getting us through today.
I’d love to hear your voting plan, of course. But I’d also love to know what you’re stress eating! (It’s a perfectly valid coping strategy, always and especially now.) Or tell us what else you’ll be doing today, and in the coming days, to be gentle with yourself.
I’ll be baking brownies today (ofc!) and if I’m being honest, probably stress shopping too. Oh and I just got these smart outlets and have been putting all my lamps on timers, so they come on right when it starts to get dark out — a little cozy glow to take the edge off our existential dread.
PS. Burnt Toast comment threads are for paid subscribers only, because that’s how I keep this space safe. If you’re new here, please remember that today is hard for everyone and we’re going to lead with kindness.
I am volunteering here in NC all day to get out the vote in precincts with low early vote totals. Durham is the bluest county in NC and we believe if 45K people vote here on Election Day, Kamala will win NC. I have found volunteering with this group is the antidote to despair. I will be eating packed pb&j sandwiches as I drive around like a maniac but I wish I had some of those stress baked brownies, Virginia!!!
***TW for serious childbirth/medical trauma***
Well, I’m awake at 4 am to see this right away because I had my second baby last week. Emergency c section led to a serious complication and we were each closer to death than I like to think about. (“When a woman gives birth, death holds her hand for a little while. Sometimes he don’t let go.”) Hemorrhaged half the average adult blood volume, was unconscious for most of his first day of life, and functionally cannot have any more children. So that’s been a lot, not just for me but also for my husband, parents, etc.
We are actually doing surprisingly okay both physically and mentally. But I feel so weirdly disconnected from the election, which is usually something I would be more engaged with due to my work (Planned Parenthood), general nature, and now this medical event making me even more unapologetic about reproductive rights. And also I feel grateful? Because I have a lot of distractions from this *even bigger* horrible thing not under my control.
We voted curbside, and I did enjoy weaponizing my big scary medical event against a staffer who seemed skeptical of my being mobility challenged, even though there’s no “proving” requirement for curbside voting in my state. I had wanted to bring my daughter to the polls on actual election day, but obviously that became a non-option.