21 Comments
Jan 19, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I love the point about not "gameifying" books this year, specifically about the unintended effects on things like avoiding longer books, etc. I I understand and really like the idea of setting an intention to read x number of books but I also am in a place where I'm just trying to be gentle and compassionate towards myself about things like this. And two books I read this year were pretty long - The Golden Notebook, and The Priory of the Orange Tree - like, took me weeks and weeks to finish (especially the first one, which was not super plot driven and which I definitely took my time getting through and thinking about) and I like having that freedom and flexibility. It's nice to not feel like I'm wrecking a stat or something, by reading a book that I have to renew from the library just to finish.

I feel called out by the intention to only buy clothes that fit my body NOW. I am pretty adamantly anti-diet, body-positive, etc, but somehow cannot quite let go of buying clothes for some future version of myself that will be, like, less PMS-bloated, less "post-winter holiday puffy," "back in my normal routine" of movement that got off track, whatever I tell myself is the excuse behind why my body is the size and shape it is at any given moment (which always is somehow just a teensy bit bigger than I "want it" to be in my deepest core of socialized body feelings, no matter what size it actually is). Why do I do this???

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That's a tough one! But it really is so freeing to only buy clothes that feel good on the body you have...

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Jan 19, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Virginia - thank you so much for taking the time to feature the voices in this beautiful community you've built. I love love the idea to make my inbox a sacred space -- I'm mindful about this on social but totally forgot about all the craziness I allow in my Gmail "house". I'm inspired by Alexa to start a version of "body liberation" walking group in my neighborhood (it really is just walking because it's flat city roads here...), and I love your own resolution to "just read". I actually got a call today from my library, where I take my kids for books, that a book I requested months ago actually arrived at the library and was available for me to check out -- for free!! I already preordered FAT TALK, but I'm going to request it at the library so others in my community have access to it, too! All the best to everyone here this Jan xoxo!

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Love all of this!! (And thank you so much for preordering.)

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Jan 19, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I am an exclusive podcast transcript reader, but this week I followed your advice and listened! So lovely to hear from this community!

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Oh hooray! This makes me so happy.

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Jan 19, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Gamifying your pursuits is such a double-edged sword. To a point, gamifying makes it more fun, until it makes it less fun. I, too, tracked my books read for a couple years, then in the third year lost my enthusiasm for it and just wanted to read without thinking about how close I was to my goal. This thread also reminds me of how I have this visceral hatred for FitBit. Like, whenever I hear someone say “getting my steps in,” I feel the bile rise in my throat. The reaction has to do with diet culture, but beyond that I’m not quite sure why this in particular stimulates such a strong response in me.

My goals for this year are: one, start sending my novel to potential agents. I finished the first draft in 2021 and have been editing it and polishing it ever since, and I’ve had some friends read it and give feedback, but I feel myself sliding into the “it’s never ready” doldrum and maybe by setting this intention, I’ll be more proactive about taking this next step.

And a fun one: Learn the Wobble. I had never heard of this line dance, or heard the song, until 2022, but then I went to TWO parties where it was done, and it looked really fun but I couldn’t participate!

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Hooray for novel submitting and wobbling!

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I’ve been thinking about this more, and it occurs to me that what annoys me so much about step-counting is that it takes one of the most basic, fundamental, natural aspects of human existence--the act of standing up and walking across a room--and makes it into a WHOLE THING. Which is a running theme in diet culture--you just wanna scream, “Let me be!” Instead, your every move is turned into a decision, a value that can be evaluated, and a self-conscious performance. AND a chore! A clerical to-do-list item that requires mental labor. And god knows we need more of THOSE in our lives. Harrumph.

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Jan 19, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I also chose not to set a reading goal on Goodreads because a) I read plenty and b) having the reading goal made me hyper-aware of the number of books I was reading, and I didn’t like how that made me feel. But geez, Goodreads really really wants you to set a reading goal. It’s annoying.

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I'm switching slowly over to StoryGraph which is great and less goal-oriented, but doesn't have quite the same community feeling? Hm.

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Jan 19, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

We love you Corinne! Happy birthday!

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Jan 20, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Thank you for recognizing newborn & toddler parents in your conversation about reading. As someone who identifies as a lifelong reader, I've felt sad about "losing" reading to parenthood. My kids are 2 and 3, and my capacity for reading is low right now. I love hearing from someone who's come out the other side of the toddler chaos, and can confirm that there's more capacity for reading on the other side. My intention for this year is to gently start reading fiction again, and to let my kids see me reading for pleasure.

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It's totally normal and it absolutely can get better. My best tip (which was advice given to me) is to just make a habit of reading in front of your kids, even if it's just a magazine or a cookbook (like something super light) and even if it's just for two minutes when your kids are that little. You can slowly build up to them understanding that you will sometimes ignore them to read. I assume this is fine (maybe good?) for kids and it's excellent for me.

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Jan 19, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

happy birthday Corinne!! I hope today, and indeed all week, is filled with joy and things you like!

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Happy birthday, Corinne! I hope you have a wonderful day.

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Okay I missed the name of the person in Bay City with the Aladdin kit home BUT if you read this, fellow whatever we call ourselves here, please know Grand Valley State University’s Special Collections houses a growing body of kit home catalogs and materials, including from Aladdin, and that I would be THRILLED to send you the advertisement for your model. My senior seminar students are working in the archives and special collections for their projects this semester, so I’m over there a lot. But also you could email the archivists if my enthusiasm is too creepy. My training is in historic preservation, and I just love kit houses—I got outbid for Sears kit house when we were hunting, and I’m still a tiny bit bitter.

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Jan 21, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

…and I went back and I see that Virginia linked to the CMU collection, which definitely has it and is more complete since the GVSU one is focused on advertising. I’m still excited about kit homes, and I still hope you get to make it feel like home. You did not ask for advice, but the thing that made my house feel most like my home was painting the walls whatever color I wanted.

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I am so here for all this kit house enthusiasm! There was one in our old neighborhood and they are so so cool!

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I’m in a similar headspace with my annual reading goals. When I first became unable to work in my career due to a debilitating disease nearly 20 years ago, I found setting those reading goals to be a concrete way to work toward something when my life and identity as I’d known it had been ripped away. As time passed and I learned some tools for coping with my situation, increasingly I set the goal on the Goodreads app but came to no longer view it as something I’m working toward. Tracking simply helps me be able to remember which books I have and have not read and facilitates my ability to discuss books and reading with other bibliophiles. It feels really comfortable to track in a pressure-free way like this and let my reading be what it is.

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I'm working towards this and still have to put it on my to do list, but no longer set goals around how much or how often and YES, so freeing.

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