Ash Brandin is one of my absolute favorite follows on Instagram, so I am so thrilled to read this. I am always telling everyone in my life to follow The Gamer Educator because people get so intense about screen time. I’m not a gamer, but my husband is, and the content is always helpful and relevant.
I loved this conversation for so many reasons! There is so much fear-mongering around screens and it leads to a lot of shame and unhealthy restrictive mindsets.
One thing I have recently been digging into is this idea of "what does screen time replace." That phrase definitely moralizes screen time in ways that aren't ideal. At the same time, I've been seeing data suggesting that for tweens and teens — especially boys — screens and games are really starting to take the place of in-person friendships, which during adolescence are quite important for development (including the development of their identities). So there is some nuance here that I'm continuing to explore.
Such a fun read! I don't have kids, but I started becoming a gamer in my late 20s, influenced by meeting my now-husband and the pandemic. I didn't really grow up with many screens (mostly due to financial limitations), so it's been so fun to learn and play! I'm obsessed with the Mario games – the new Wonder is SO FUN.
Time to Lean Podcast is also great! Laura Danger and Crystal Britt are both so great, and their content on the mental load always really resonates with me so I am glad Ash mentioned it.
This was such a great conversation, I really appreciate all the nuance and flexibility. A lot of this is so applicable to grown-ups too - I'm struggling with my own relationship with my phone because I think it is replacing things that I actually want to do. But this was a good reminder that getting all diet-culture shamey on myself is probably not going to help me resolve whatever is going on there.
And v glad I came to the transcript to see the YouTube instructions are linked! I have been meaning to do this because there are channels we really like (I bet I could clock the two Super Simple Songs vocalists from a mile away). And yet there is *so much garbage*, and appropriately for this forum it's often food restriction / ED adjacent garbage (some random video where a parent sings to the kid about how they better eat their peas and not lie about it, would like to delete that from my brain plz).
“What does screen time replace?” reminds me of the time my mom told her therapist she was always ravenous after her sessions and the therapist said, “What are you hungry FOR?” My mom told me this story when she cornered me about gaining weight, like every time I’m hungry I should be figuring out what emotion is making me THINK i’m hungry, or what eating is replacing.
Sometimes I have to walk away from the screen because my eyeballs hurt or it gives me a headache, but other times it feels totally luxurious to spend some of my leisure time looking at silly memes on Facebook or watching dog videos on Instagram.
This came at the very best time because I was searching the internet last night, trying to find content about screens like this one. My son has been sneaking screens and I realized that I have created an environment where he has to sneak something which I know will bring shame and I don't want that. But I have so many fears around it, it's been hard to get perspective. The opening line, comparing it to fat phobia, got me. Yes! That is me. As much work as I have done around my body, diet rules, fatphobia, I still have it hidden in those little insidious parts of my being which is frustrating but also helpful because once I realize the fear, I am able to let it go. So thank you for this. thank you thank you
This was such a great episode!! My husband and I have recently been talking about the parallels between food & screens and it's so eye-opening. I'm coming more from the food side and him from screens, but it resonates either way.
I’m so glad there was conversation about YouTube. Both my kids, 8 and 5, love Kids YouTube. The younger one hides it every time we walk by as if she’s doing something wrong which feels like it could very tricky as she gets older. She knows I don’t love some of the videos she watches but I haven’t restricted them because they are mostly harmless, they just seem like capitalism for kids or long ads. But she is less likely to have a conversation with me about them. I think I need to change my approach.
I do wonder...when setting up limits to YouTube, is it too obvious to not allow those videos I don’t like her watching?? Just tell her, oops, they must have deleted all those Johnson Family videos. Oops! 😆
Loved this episode! I really thought the bath time analogy very helpful for both food and screens. I'm finding the distinction between boundaries and restrictions to be very murky. I have an under-2-year-old so the screen time recommendation is zero, but for some reason video calls are ok? It makes it sound like the recommendation is sponsored by Zoom. Like, are the screens hurting baby's brain or not? My kid has watched us plan grocery lists and balanc budget on computers and also watched Ms. Rachel, but I have guilt only about the last one. She wants me to turn the TV on almost every day, but I hold a boundary against it because she isn't supposed to have any screen time. Part of me wants to let her, but I don't have confidence in my judgement on this topic.
Thanks for sharing the post on young adults' reflections on their screen time use. I finally felt like I was asking a real expert when I heard from them.
OMG I love the sticker story idea! I used to collect stickers in elementary school (anyone remember "oilies" or "fuzzies"... man the early 90s were great ;-) RedBubble is another great place for cool stickers!
I appreciated the point about electronic toys and how they are marketed to adults. That is so true. I’m a speech pathologist who does home visits for kids under the age of 3, and research has shown that these toys tend to dominate interactions and “do the talking” for adults. Calling attention to the distinction between words and pictures in a book, pointing out what symbols in the environment mean, identifying the first letter in a child’s name, and letting a child take the lead with reading books are great ways to promote early literacy skills without needing to buy something from Leapfrog or other similar companies.
I’m so glad to see all the YouTube articles. We take care of our 7 year old granddaughter after school. YouTube is her favorite thing right now. She has a watch list but I don’t think she stays on it the way I want her to. I keep a pretty close eye on what she’s watching, but when she’s wearing headphones (the laugh track on funny animal videos is the worst) I lose my sense of what’s happening on screen.
My kids are in their early 20s now, but we bought them their first devices (Nintendo DS) before a long car trip. At the time, their school had a standard of reading 20 minutes a day, so we just used that as our guideline: did you finish your homework and do your 20 minutes of reading? You can use your device. The 'time has no meaning' of a long car trip also reinforced that structure: alternating between screens, reading (no one in my family gets car sick, luckily), enforced rest time, etc.
I realize that screens are much more prevalent (I Phones didn't exist) and kids get on them younger, but I do also think it's possible to set structure and it's ok to do so.
Ash Brandin is one of my absolute favorite follows on Instagram, so I am so thrilled to read this. I am always telling everyone in my life to follow The Gamer Educator because people get so intense about screen time. I’m not a gamer, but my husband is, and the content is always helpful and relevant.
I loved this conversation for so many reasons! There is so much fear-mongering around screens and it leads to a lot of shame and unhealthy restrictive mindsets.
One thing I have recently been digging into is this idea of "what does screen time replace." That phrase definitely moralizes screen time in ways that aren't ideal. At the same time, I've been seeing data suggesting that for tweens and teens — especially boys — screens and games are really starting to take the place of in-person friendships, which during adolescence are quite important for development (including the development of their identities). So there is some nuance here that I'm continuing to explore.
Such a fun read! I don't have kids, but I started becoming a gamer in my late 20s, influenced by meeting my now-husband and the pandemic. I didn't really grow up with many screens (mostly due to financial limitations), so it's been so fun to learn and play! I'm obsessed with the Mario games – the new Wonder is SO FUN.
Time to Lean Podcast is also great! Laura Danger and Crystal Britt are both so great, and their content on the mental load always really resonates with me so I am glad Ash mentioned it.
This was such a great conversation, I really appreciate all the nuance and flexibility. A lot of this is so applicable to grown-ups too - I'm struggling with my own relationship with my phone because I think it is replacing things that I actually want to do. But this was a good reminder that getting all diet-culture shamey on myself is probably not going to help me resolve whatever is going on there.
And v glad I came to the transcript to see the YouTube instructions are linked! I have been meaning to do this because there are channels we really like (I bet I could clock the two Super Simple Songs vocalists from a mile away). And yet there is *so much garbage*, and appropriately for this forum it's often food restriction / ED adjacent garbage (some random video where a parent sings to the kid about how they better eat their peas and not lie about it, would like to delete that from my brain plz).
Bless you both for this!
“What does screen time replace?” reminds me of the time my mom told her therapist she was always ravenous after her sessions and the therapist said, “What are you hungry FOR?” My mom told me this story when she cornered me about gaining weight, like every time I’m hungry I should be figuring out what emotion is making me THINK i’m hungry, or what eating is replacing.
Sometimes I have to walk away from the screen because my eyeballs hurt or it gives me a headache, but other times it feels totally luxurious to spend some of my leisure time looking at silly memes on Facebook or watching dog videos on Instagram.
This came at the very best time because I was searching the internet last night, trying to find content about screens like this one. My son has been sneaking screens and I realized that I have created an environment where he has to sneak something which I know will bring shame and I don't want that. But I have so many fears around it, it's been hard to get perspective. The opening line, comparing it to fat phobia, got me. Yes! That is me. As much work as I have done around my body, diet rules, fatphobia, I still have it hidden in those little insidious parts of my being which is frustrating but also helpful because once I realize the fear, I am able to let it go. So thank you for this. thank you thank you
This was such a great episode!! My husband and I have recently been talking about the parallels between food & screens and it's so eye-opening. I'm coming more from the food side and him from screens, but it resonates either way.
I’m so glad there was conversation about YouTube. Both my kids, 8 and 5, love Kids YouTube. The younger one hides it every time we walk by as if she’s doing something wrong which feels like it could very tricky as she gets older. She knows I don’t love some of the videos she watches but I haven’t restricted them because they are mostly harmless, they just seem like capitalism for kids or long ads. But she is less likely to have a conversation with me about them. I think I need to change my approach.
I do wonder...when setting up limits to YouTube, is it too obvious to not allow those videos I don’t like her watching?? Just tell her, oops, they must have deleted all those Johnson Family videos. Oops! 😆
Loved this episode! I really thought the bath time analogy very helpful for both food and screens. I'm finding the distinction between boundaries and restrictions to be very murky. I have an under-2-year-old so the screen time recommendation is zero, but for some reason video calls are ok? It makes it sound like the recommendation is sponsored by Zoom. Like, are the screens hurting baby's brain or not? My kid has watched us plan grocery lists and balanc budget on computers and also watched Ms. Rachel, but I have guilt only about the last one. She wants me to turn the TV on almost every day, but I hold a boundary against it because she isn't supposed to have any screen time. Part of me wants to let her, but I don't have confidence in my judgement on this topic.
Thanks for sharing the post on young adults' reflections on their screen time use. I finally felt like I was asking a real expert when I heard from them.
OMG I love the sticker story idea! I used to collect stickers in elementary school (anyone remember "oilies" or "fuzzies"... man the early 90s were great ;-) RedBubble is another great place for cool stickers!
I appreciated the point about electronic toys and how they are marketed to adults. That is so true. I’m a speech pathologist who does home visits for kids under the age of 3, and research has shown that these toys tend to dominate interactions and “do the talking” for adults. Calling attention to the distinction between words and pictures in a book, pointing out what symbols in the environment mean, identifying the first letter in a child’s name, and letting a child take the lead with reading books are great ways to promote early literacy skills without needing to buy something from Leapfrog or other similar companies.
I’m so glad to see all the YouTube articles. We take care of our 7 year old granddaughter after school. YouTube is her favorite thing right now. She has a watch list but I don’t think she stays on it the way I want her to. I keep a pretty close eye on what she’s watching, but when she’s wearing headphones (the laugh track on funny animal videos is the worst) I lose my sense of what’s happening on screen.
My kids are in their early 20s now, but we bought them their first devices (Nintendo DS) before a long car trip. At the time, their school had a standard of reading 20 minutes a day, so we just used that as our guideline: did you finish your homework and do your 20 minutes of reading? You can use your device. The 'time has no meaning' of a long car trip also reinforced that structure: alternating between screens, reading (no one in my family gets car sick, luckily), enforced rest time, etc.
I realize that screens are much more prevalent (I Phones didn't exist) and kids get on them younger, but I do also think it's possible to set structure and it's ok to do so.