I have worked SO hard on this with my kids, and felt really undermined when my preschooler came home one day, having had a lesson on "healthy eating", and told me all about the unhealthy foods we shouldn't eat. The school also monitors how they eat their lunch and won't let them eat their "treat" until everything else has been eaten. I'm hoping that my consistent work at home will win through, but I do feel frustrated. And I thought Grandma and her "naughty chocolates" where my main problem!
It does feel like an undermining of our values BUT I think a more helpful framing is to see these moments as opportunities for good conversation with our kids. They are going to encounter all of this in the world no matter what we do -- so these are chances to practice skills and learn advocacy! (Still not fun though.)
I've been thinking about diet culture and school a lot since my kid settled into kindergarten. Two things are currently concerning me: one is that there's a problematic level of enforcement of eating the vegetables and fruit that come in the school lunches. My kid doesn't like mushy vegetables, which the school vegetables are, and as a result he will often get the cheese sandwich alternative even to a lunch he otherwise likes because he doesn't want to eat the vegetables. And on the one day a week he gets home lunch, he has asked me to not send a sandwich because he is made to finish that before he can eat his granola bar, and he doesn't always have time. (We have compromised with 1/4 of a sandwich in addition to his [crunchy] vegetable slices and turkey pepperoni.)
The other thing is he has become aware of fatness as a disfavored category, and commented on it a few times, and I have to assume it's coming from school -- presumably from the other kids since I don't imagine his teacher explicitly calling anyone fat.
The former I feel like we might need to talk to his teacher about at some point, but it does feel like an uncomfortable level of telling her how to manage the classroom, and I don't know to what degree this is a formal policy and to what degree it's the initiative of the para who is the one enforcing this.
But boy, if they sent home a BMI report card the entire school district management would be hearing from me.
Unfortunately both of these are SUPER common experiences in the early school years. The podcast ep I linked with Gwen Kostal has some good advice on how/when to respond!
Last year during virtual learning, I was shocked to hear the lessons about “bad foods” from my 1st grader’s physical education teacher. Even a year later, he often checks the calories on foods he eats. 🤦♀️
Ahhhh what timing! I am working on the literature review for my thesis, which is on this exact topic! This post will be an excellent place to jump off from. Thank you!
Thank you in particular for the Cait O'Conner post which mentions how the desks/chairs/layout of classrooms are also part of this. It is unreasonably difficult to get schools to move away from furniture that simply doesn't work for a lot of students--and plays into other sorts of body normatively as well.
It probably is! It's just ... how do I know? I have no idea what is being taught, no connection to the gym teacher, no reports of any kind, no info on the curriculum--if there even is one. (Screams into void!!) Also the gym teacher is a man, and I feel more uncomfortable talking about diet culture with men, since I just kind of assume they won't get it (I know many will, but the ones in my life do not). Is there any research on how to have these kind of conversations effectively with men?
It can be trickier because men often aren't socialized to have a common language around these issues. But I think a lot of Gwen's strategies will help. And it's also okay to decide this is something you talk to your kid about at home but don't pursue in terms of advocacy at school. We have to pick our battles!
Do you know if men are more or less likely to feel inclined to challenge diet culture when first presented with it? Is the learning curve different?
But most of all, thank you! I would never have even thought to question the plate of "rainbow foods" and the healthy/unhealthy binary pushed by the school--not to mention feeding my own kids at home and challenging diet culture beliefs in my family--without your work. I am so thankful to have this other paradigm. I am still learning a lot (as one example, when I was a kid, I would regularly hear my my dad comment on how many extra pounds someone was carrying), but I am grateful to have lots of things to read and listen to as I try to help my kids have a non-problematic relationship to food.
I have worked SO hard on this with my kids, and felt really undermined when my preschooler came home one day, having had a lesson on "healthy eating", and told me all about the unhealthy foods we shouldn't eat. The school also monitors how they eat their lunch and won't let them eat their "treat" until everything else has been eaten. I'm hoping that my consistent work at home will win through, but I do feel frustrated. And I thought Grandma and her "naughty chocolates" where my main problem!
It does feel like an undermining of our values BUT I think a more helpful framing is to see these moments as opportunities for good conversation with our kids. They are going to encounter all of this in the world no matter what we do -- so these are chances to practice skills and learn advocacy! (Still not fun though.)
I hadn't thought it like that, thanks for pointing that out!
I've been thinking about diet culture and school a lot since my kid settled into kindergarten. Two things are currently concerning me: one is that there's a problematic level of enforcement of eating the vegetables and fruit that come in the school lunches. My kid doesn't like mushy vegetables, which the school vegetables are, and as a result he will often get the cheese sandwich alternative even to a lunch he otherwise likes because he doesn't want to eat the vegetables. And on the one day a week he gets home lunch, he has asked me to not send a sandwich because he is made to finish that before he can eat his granola bar, and he doesn't always have time. (We have compromised with 1/4 of a sandwich in addition to his [crunchy] vegetable slices and turkey pepperoni.)
The other thing is he has become aware of fatness as a disfavored category, and commented on it a few times, and I have to assume it's coming from school -- presumably from the other kids since I don't imagine his teacher explicitly calling anyone fat.
The former I feel like we might need to talk to his teacher about at some point, but it does feel like an uncomfortable level of telling her how to manage the classroom, and I don't know to what degree this is a formal policy and to what degree it's the initiative of the para who is the one enforcing this.
But boy, if they sent home a BMI report card the entire school district management would be hearing from me.
Unfortunately both of these are SUPER common experiences in the early school years. The podcast ep I linked with Gwen Kostal has some good advice on how/when to respond!
Last year during virtual learning, I was shocked to hear the lessons about “bad foods” from my 1st grader’s physical education teacher. Even a year later, he often checks the calories on foods he eats. 🤦♀️
Oh that’s so so tough.
Ahhhh what timing! I am working on the literature review for my thesis, which is on this exact topic! This post will be an excellent place to jump off from. Thank you!
Amazing, so glad you're working on this!
Thank you in particular for the Cait O'Conner post which mentions how the desks/chairs/layout of classrooms are also part of this. It is unreasonably difficult to get schools to move away from furniture that simply doesn't work for a lot of students--and plays into other sorts of body normatively as well.
YES. Aubrey Gordon talked about that in our podcast interview too, I forgot to link it. So so important.
It's so hard. Check out my podcast episode with Gwen Kostal for some ideas if you do feel like this is a conversation you need to have.
It probably is! It's just ... how do I know? I have no idea what is being taught, no connection to the gym teacher, no reports of any kind, no info on the curriculum--if there even is one. (Screams into void!!) Also the gym teacher is a man, and I feel more uncomfortable talking about diet culture with men, since I just kind of assume they won't get it (I know many will, but the ones in my life do not). Is there any research on how to have these kind of conversations effectively with men?
It can be trickier because men often aren't socialized to have a common language around these issues. But I think a lot of Gwen's strategies will help. And it's also okay to decide this is something you talk to your kid about at home but don't pursue in terms of advocacy at school. We have to pick our battles!
Do you know if men are more or less likely to feel inclined to challenge diet culture when first presented with it? Is the learning curve different?
But most of all, thank you! I would never have even thought to question the plate of "rainbow foods" and the healthy/unhealthy binary pushed by the school--not to mention feeding my own kids at home and challenging diet culture beliefs in my family--without your work. I am so thankful to have this other paradigm. I am still learning a lot (as one example, when I was a kid, I would regularly hear my my dad comment on how many extra pounds someone was carrying), but I am grateful to have lots of things to read and listen to as I try to help my kids have a non-problematic relationship to food.