Laura, my mom's the same on both counts. She was super open with everyone about her age when she turned 60 and I asked her about it - revealing my own anti-aging bias, I guess, and assuming that most women wouldn't want to admit to being 60. She said, "When I tell people I'm 60, the unstated thing they also hear is '... and I don't care …
Laura, my mom's the same on both counts. She was super open with everyone about her age when she turned 60 and I asked her about it - revealing my own anti-aging bias, I guess, and assuming that most women wouldn't want to admit to being 60. She said, "When I tell people I'm 60, the unstated thing they also hear is '... and I don't care what you think anymore.'" That confidence is awesome!
But at the same time, I am 100% going to give Fat Talk to my mom after I've read it. I'm secure in asking my mom (and my MIL, also a woman in her late 60s now) to really transform the way they talk about food and bodies to/in front of my kids, but I've been so scared to talk to Mom about the damage she did to me by talking (and living!) that way. Virginia and Deb pointed out the “But I was just trying to do a good thing here" defense, which is absolutely what my mom would say. And I recognize that she was harmed by diet culture just as much as I was despite the role she played in my harming!
There is no getting through to my mom on diet/weight. I remember years ago I said you know, I think sometimes our bodies just gain weight and it's a natural thing, and she shot back "It's natural to get pregnant when you have sex, but that's why we have birth control."
I know I'm not going to be able to untangle all her issues around food, so I stick with gently saying things like "can we not call foods 'evil'" and, when she complains that she never gets anything done and she can't focus on a task, observing that what she's describing sounds like how I feel when I'm hungry and asking if maybe she's hungry.
Laura, my mom's the same on both counts. She was super open with everyone about her age when she turned 60 and I asked her about it - revealing my own anti-aging bias, I guess, and assuming that most women wouldn't want to admit to being 60. She said, "When I tell people I'm 60, the unstated thing they also hear is '... and I don't care what you think anymore.'" That confidence is awesome!
But at the same time, I am 100% going to give Fat Talk to my mom after I've read it. I'm secure in asking my mom (and my MIL, also a woman in her late 60s now) to really transform the way they talk about food and bodies to/in front of my kids, but I've been so scared to talk to Mom about the damage she did to me by talking (and living!) that way. Virginia and Deb pointed out the “But I was just trying to do a good thing here" defense, which is absolutely what my mom would say. And I recognize that she was harmed by diet culture just as much as I was despite the role she played in my harming!
Oof, this intersection is hard.
There is no getting through to my mom on diet/weight. I remember years ago I said you know, I think sometimes our bodies just gain weight and it's a natural thing, and she shot back "It's natural to get pregnant when you have sex, but that's why we have birth control."
I know I'm not going to be able to untangle all her issues around food, so I stick with gently saying things like "can we not call foods 'evil'" and, when she complains that she never gets anything done and she can't focus on a task, observing that what she's describing sounds like how I feel when I'm hungry and asking if maybe she's hungry.