Do You Have A Ritual?
Plus forgiving pants and my TV obsession for solo nights.
Friday Thread: Do We Need Rituals?
In Tuesday’s essay, I wrote about how, for a long time, attempting to solidify family dinner as a successful daily routine had gotten in the way of it actually working. But we are now building these tentative new rituals — reading at the dinner table, making brownies every Sunday—that work for us as a trio. And the girls are establishing different routines at their dad’s house, and I’m figuring out my own little rituals for what I do when they aren’t here (yes I’ll probably write more about that part eventually).
Of course, rituals aren’t just about food. Some people are super into skincare rituals (I am absolutely not). Or have standing social gatherings — I loved Michaela’s comment on Tuesday about hosting regular Meatball Nights:
One way I was more successful at coping with divorce via dinner was starting periodic Meatball Nights—a kind of structured open house/potluck where I would make spaghetti and meatballs and people would bring whatever else, and that was dinner. I had an email list and asked people to sign up for a specific night. It was a total delight to introduce friends to one another, to see big kids take the littles into the living room after dinner, to have a guaranteed social event on weekends when my daughter was with me; so many of those gatherings were pure magic.
This reminded me of a feature I wrote for Real Simple years ago about building community, which led with the story of a family who hosted Friday Night Meatballs (pdf, sorry, that piece lives nowhere online anymore!). I absolutely adore that ritual but have never felt confident I could pull it off. As an introvert and parent, my longest-standing ritual has been getting up early most days to drink coffee, read, and (weather-depending) have a little garden putter. Also lovely, tbh.
So I’d love to know: Do you have a ritual or routine you love?
This can be in any arena — food, self-care, community, and I’m always especially interested in rituals that help people feel good and empowered in their bodies, but aren’t saying affirmations in a mirror (unless that absolutely works for you!). I’m both curious because I’m ritual-shopping for my own life, but also because I just love to hear the details of how people put their days together.
PS. To share your ritual, you do need to be a paid Burnt Toast subscriber. Here’s how to join us! Do check out our thread rules if you’re a new commenter.
Friday Links & Recs
Corinne told me to get the 5 Calls app so I could call my reps and demand a ceasefire and release of all hostages in Israel and Palestine, and she was correct.
While you’re making your 5 calls, you can also demand action against gun violence, because here we are, once again. But while federal legislation remains an absurdly uphill battle, state governments can still get shit done. The Burnt Toast Giving Circle raises money to flip state legislatures blue so we can get meaningful gun laws passed around the country. This year we’re raising money for Virginia, join us here.
has given me a new momfluencer rabbit hole to fall down and just no to making your day harder than it needs to be.Caster Semenya put her body through hell because elite sports refuse to evolve on gender, like, even a little. (NYT gift link)
This is not a drill: The Taynee Tinsley calendar is coming soon!
I remember feeling completely mystified when Glamour ran the recipe for Engagement Chicken in 2004, and whew, it is still so bizarre.
But I will be putting this chicken on my meal plan for next Thursday (wild card night).
A helpful read about food addiction:
My new show for solo nights is the deliciously campy and smart Good Girls (on Netflix). I do not understand how it went 4 seasons before I knew about it? Christina Hendrix, Mae Whitman and Retta are suburban moms running a crime ring and I could not be more here for it.
Went to Hot Tub Book Club last night, where we have made “sweatpants” the official event dress code and was reminded of this from
:
Related: About to press order on these sweatpants after
influenced the heck out of me with her effortless chic mom style. (Before I buy, does anyone have plus size intel on Beyond Yoga?)And from Tuesday’s essay, I absolutely LOVE this comment from Jennifer:
So late to the party, but your charkiderie was such an amazing idea that I’d been sort of dabbling in- and I found THIS at Target to make it easier! Lightweight, kids can’t break it, 5 sections, but not too big to sit in the middle of the table!
Book Stuff
Fat Talk is six months old this week! And the emails and DMs you send about how the book has impacted you continue to blow me away daily. Here are a few recent ones:
