As the parent of a neurodivergent child, thank you for acknowledging the added complexity of scheduling and then managing summer plans for these kids. I cannot tell you the stress of waiting for the phone to ring from camp because I need to pick them up after a meltdown. These calls come and then, by day three of a five day camp, they are not invited back because it is ‘not the right fit’. To be clear, I do not blame the camps - they’re staffed with high school kids and college students and they are likely not equipped to deal with some of the challenges my child presents in a group environment. But paying $500 for them to attend a camp for 5 days and receiving only 3 days of care? Well it sucks and there’s a lot of (misplaced) shame and embarrassment afterward. Thankfully, these calls are coming less and less as we have found great camps for them and they have been better able to manage changes in routine. But the problems of summer childcare are vast, with very little support, for parents like me. (Edited to help maintain my child’s privacy)
This. There is exactly ONE camp within a 30 minute minutes commute of my house that offers supplemental support for kids with disabilities. (And of course they closed their convenient location and the remaining location is chockablock with unavoidable transitions onto and off of the bus. Exactly what I need.) I’m now in limbo waiting to see if one of the college kids they hire happens to be qualified/inclined to support my kid. Because the other choice is to send him to a “therapeutic” camp, and those run for even less time AND two of the three somewhat near us are hard nos because of their “autism is bad” attitude. But if we don’t send him somewhere for at least some of the summer, he’ll be back to pandemic levels of isolation. Argh.
I'm so worried about this--I have a 5 year old who is starting kindergarten this fall. His PreK program told me they couldn't handle him and I had to find a new spot for him. He still doesn't have a diagnosis so not sure entirely how to even explain his needs to the camp. On the one hand, maybe it was just a bad preK fit? On the other hand, how do I prepare him? Plus the investment in camp...
I also had my child leave a prep program because of fit. I totally understand and empathize with your concerns. It is so so hard but we have found certain ways to help plan. Trying to maintain routine in the summer to the degree possible (eg. No change in bedtime, pack the same foods, keep the same wind down schedule etc). Think about your kids triggers and how they manifest and then see if you can find camps that won’t include these. As an example, I enrolled my son in a bunch of sports camps because he’s athletic and loves to run around. BUT he could not handle the competition aspect and these almost always blew up, sometimes spectacularly. What has worked are camps where he may not have a real interest in the ‘theme’ but that are guaranteed not to include triggers. Examples are art and photography, nature. The actives include ZERO competitive elements or opportunities for conflict and he’s actually found them really relaxing and restful.
This is so real. We experienced multiple times finding camps that were great for my kid’s interests, but terrible for handling even very mild divergences. Not to mention unable to address bullying or bias among (young) adult caregivers. Summer camp - so expensive, and such low quality!
One of the most popular camps around here (full day care! buses for transport! and the kids love it!) opens their registration on January 1, at some unspecified time in the morning. Yes, New Years Day. And god forbid you don't keep hitting refresh until you find the magic time they decide to open registration, or you won't get a spot, and your kid won't get to do the ropes course with their friends, and on January 2 you'll be scrambling to fill your calendar spreadsheet with the remaining options and when registration opens , hoping you can fill those childcare gaps with camps your kids will be happy to go to.
(This year, with the added bonus of no child support schedule yet but a not-yet-ex who decided he's not interested in contributing payment for any of said camps and wants me to "leave time for him to spend with the kids" but also won't commit to providing any specific chunks of that time, let alone full weeks, and expects me to be able cobble together sufficient care that is enriching and doesn't involve them watching tv while I try to work)
"leave time for him to spend with the kids", this made me rage on your behalf. The audacity of men ! Must be nice to have kids when you're a man, you don't have to take care of them, it's just like accessories that you can "have" whenever is convenient
Oh yes, I carry the camp mental load in our family. One camp started reg in September and was booked by the time one child told me they REALLY wanted to go to it, last November. The two camps I got the kids in to book in early January. There are two other summer programs we really like and I will not find out anything about them until April at the earliest.
In June my parents will ask me "so how about this week in July for vacation with us?" and I will say to them, as I have said for years now, "you needed to ask me this last December."
"The “classic” American summer of staying home to watch too much TV except when your mom took you to the town pool or made you go fend for yourself outside no longer feels like a responsible or accessible parenting decision" - Why? Why isn't that responsible? Because your kids won't get into ivy league colleges? My kids are in their early to mid twenties now so my experience is from 15 or so years ago. The summer camp thing was the same back then-expensive, weird hours, a nightmare to sign up, all about "enrichment” to get into a good college…first, we didn’t have the money to put the kids in camps. I worked from home and it would have taken a big chunk of my salary, it would have stressed me out managing the changing schedule and driving them all over, my neurodivergent kids would have and been overwhelmed…and I refused to buy into the group think that this was the correct way to parent. Fuck all that nonsense! My kids slept in and when they woke up they made themselves breakfast and farted around the house, sure sometimes watching TV or playing a video game but not always. They knew they could have enough time so they didn’t feel the need to frantically cram in screen time during any free moment. I’d get up early and work at my desk until lunch. Then we’d eat and head out to the neighborhood pool or a matinee movie. Sometimes friends would come over, thrilled to be playing at a house instead of at a scheduled up the wazoo camp. We all needed that break from the tyranny of the clock and having to always be going going going. They didn’t end up at Harvard and that’s ok. Their colleges were good, their grades As & Bs. You don’t have to jump on the hamster wheel. “Everybody” isn’t doing it. The hardest thing was the pressure from other moms for not fitting in. Occasionally my kids would request a week camp and we’d say sure. However, it was never as fun as they thought - my son still brings up this one hellish camp where he got heat sick one day and another day carpooling home with friends one boy threw up in the car (heat sick , car sick, exhausted from his “fun” day). They have good memories of swimming, walking to the 7-11 to get slurpies, walking to the comic book store, making stop motion lego movies, making homemade ice cream…. I’m grateful I worked from home and could give my kids a non responsible summer break.
It’s not accessible if you don’t have an adult who can be home all day or if your kids are younger (like under 7) and need more hands on caregiving. I am just now getting to the years when it is possible for my family but I couldn’t have done my own wfh job without at least my younger kiddo in some kind of camp until this year. I hear you about getting off the hamster wheel and I feel v privileged to be getting there! Just wanted to acknowledge that it’s not doable for lots of folks.
Another complicating piece is that there usually aren't other kids around because they're all in camps or other programs. So even if a family is actively choosing a low-key summer without camps, it's not like the days of yore when kids could roam the neighborhood and "be home by dark." And if you do let your kids be "free range," someone might literally call the cops on you! Lenore Skenazy's "Let Grow" has some helpful info on state laws and ways of connecting with other families in your community. https://letgrow.org/
prefacing this by saying that I don't have kids, but it is so distressing how many things--summer play, riding the school bus, ignoring all the extra dress up days, new holiday traditions, etc etc--aren't options for some parents today because other parents aren't opting out. and several of my friends are in anguish about this; they feel stuck because their kiddos want to do all the things their friends are doing. and who doesn't? all of the empathy for everyone involved. it feels like, from the outside, that there is no clear path, let alone an easy one
We were really poor when my kids were babies/toddlers because I had a job, not a career. We couldn’t afford for me to work. My friends with salaried full time jobs had nannies when their kids were tiny and then they switched to summer camps once the kids were in preschool. It’s true I don’t know how to juggle a good job with childcare. Sometimes more money =more headaches. My daughter is autistic so I certainly understand needing to be hands on. Being at home was cheaper and easier. I have a friend with younger kids and what she spends on summer camps is my salary for the year
Right, or single moms who need to work and don’t have a wfh job or a grandparent/other support person nearby… just lots of permutations where kids staying home isn’t always feasible even once we strip back the performative parenting piece. Though I absolutely acknowledge the class anxiety piece is what drives up camp costs in a privatized, for profit system!
You are 100% right. The camp madness is my area is all entirely optional, for kids 8+ who could easily be staying at home by themselves for long periods of the day. It's competitive registration for private horse camp and elite sports and ceramics classes and robotics and matching complex schedules with friends. The affordable, basic full day city camps aren't competitive bc they are a last resort after affluent parents haven't gotten horse camp. There are no camps for kids under 5. There's nothing for people who are actually in need - no accessibility for kids with disabilities (NONE - how is that legal!) and minimal scholarships for families who can't afford 500 - 800 dollars a week. I am all for systemic change (I work full time in Medicaid policy advocacy and volunteer full time for free on behalf of our title 1 public school) but for us to get there parents with privilege need to think beyond their own family unit and the urge to optimize their own kids' achievement trajectory. If you can uproot your professional life and work from a tropical country for 2.5 months you have a job that could accommodate a non infant/toddler child home with you for a portion of the day.
I think we should all really question the idea that an unscheduled summer isn't responsible parenting. I work full time but from home, and I let my 7 turning 8 (mid summer bday) year old stay home all summer last year with me. She did 2.5 camps and a week at camp auntie+cousin. She read literally 100s of books, sat outside in the sun, and rested her brain. We are a minimal screen house and there was no screen time. Boredom is good for developing brains. There was a great paper in a Pediatrics journal a few years ago about the mental health crisis in kids and the researchers linked anxiety in young people to a lack of unstructured, unsupervised time. I know that Anxious Generation book is all the rage these days but this paper was much more compelling to me than Jonathan Haidt. The idea that older elementary age kids of white collar intellectual workers need a packed summer is a self enforcing class narrative, not a reality. Young kids, sure - I can't work for a single minute with my 4 year old home. (Ironically, there are no camps for 4 yr olds.) And privilege is huge here, safety might be a bigger issue for parents working 12 hour shifts - but the folks driving this camp dynamic are affluent parents, not working class ones.
I moved from Brooklyn to Cambridge MA and was shocked that it was impossible to find full day camp for both my preschool and elementary aged kids. (Even though cost of living is arguably as bad or worse!) Full day for two parents with 40 hour jobs means 8-6 and best I could do was 9-4. I’m always shocked when extended day is considered going until 3. We are privileged to pay but literally can’t find ways to buy our way out. I have no idea how single parents or people with less resources make this work. This has completely changed my relationship to work. I have not fully pursued full time employment for years as a result. Cambridge started a universal preschool program this year (cool) but failed to include ANY options for extended day in the majority of programs (including the one special ed kids MUST use, and the ones you’d prioritize if you have an older child in elementary) and then surprise the program is under-enrolled. Meanwhile a single mom friend in burbs had to register for K extended day yesterday and 4 minutes in she only got Fridays. The system is brutal to moms baseline and only getting worse with attacks from executive orders effectively targeting women and BIPOC employers and employees. I know Fed employees scrambling to figure out childcare for mandated return to office (not to mention being furloughed, having jobs rescinded etc).
Yup, and you would expect so much more from the 'People's Republic of Cambridge' right? My mom was a teacher in their preschool system and they are treated HORRIBLY, underpaid and undervalued (teachers routinely need public assistance to live, especially if they have kids, and aren't given any tuition assistance for their own kids to attend). A systemic issue that needs to be addressed as such, including how we pay and treat child care workers. Hope your summer goes okay!
yes, I was also going to chime in to say that when these things aren't staffed by high schoolers and college interns, the pay and benefits are so abysmal for the people who actually do the work. caregiving, whether of children or elders or in between is frightfully underpaid and valued, just as you said. (I don't know about Cambridge itself, but just imagine how bad it is in the southeast)
So I’m a step mom to a second grader. We have 50% custody, which basically means that my husband has managed to relieve himself from any of the mental load associated with his daughter and his ex and I probably split it 75-25. She texted the group chat about summer camp last week. I literally don’t know what my schedule will be this summer (I’m trying to get a new job closer to home).
My husband is in a moderately grueling professional program (I say moderately, because he acts like it’s keeping him from being more involved, but I did fourth year of veterinary school pregnant and was still quite involved in the raising of a child that I have no biological ties to, so I’m a little salty). We’ve toyed with alternating weeks this summer instead of our typical 5-2-2-5 (alternating weekends, same weeknights) schedule, that way we could pick camps that were better for each household. Given that I’m probably going to be doing most of the drop off and pick up, I told his ex to just do whatever camp worked best for her that the kid most wanted to go to because I’m still 6 weeks from knowing my new job/hours and 4 months from starting it. I can’t wait until May when my husband asks what the plan for summer camp is and freaks out about whether it works with his schedule.
Maybe I’m in a mood today because after freaking out about how I was putting him in a tough spot by going to a work conference for 5 days at the end of the month, it turns out that the rotation he’s on that has 8:30-5:00 hours and is at the same hospital where our toddler goes to daycare (but don’t worry guys his mom is coming to help him out anyways).
We signed up for the first round of camp in SEPTEMBER. I couldn't believe it. And just this morning my husband sat patiently at the computer to get spots at the very coveted Zoo camp. My husband does all the summer camp stuff and he just sent me the magic spreadsheet with all the weeks set up. I greatly appreciate his love of spreadsheets.
Thanks, Nancy! Oh yes, zoo camp is the camp all my kids have loved and request every year and of course is the hardest to get a spot. Last year the website crashed when the registration opened. It's definitely an important summer memory.
I know this fixes nothing but as the mom of a now 15 year old that I'm requiring to get a job this summer, I just want to say there is a light at the end of the fucked up childcare-less tunnel.
I was thinking this too! My kid will be 15 in May and I think he might actually get to WORK at the day camp he went to for years and was a CIT for last summer!
Can we also talk about the fact that camp registrations always seem to open on a Monday at 8 am or some other impossible time when working parents are simultaneously finishing getting their kids off to school and scrambling to get into work? It’s the parents who need summer camps the most so they can work who are most likely unable to drop everything at registration time to snag a coveted spot, which will go with the hour if you arent on top of it.
Or (I don’t know what’s worse) some of the best camps near me open registration on one of the rare days everyone has off like Black Friday or New Years Day so you feel like you can’t relax and have to wake up at an ungodly hour to register for camp.
Our local parks & rec camp registration used to open at 5:30 AM on a specified day- that you had to know to look for on their website (!!). They changed it post-pandemic to be a more accessible time of noon, but still a challenge for working parents. I bonded deeply with some other moms over those 5 AM wakeups and clicking like crazy to get in the virtual queue. At 5:35 we'd all be texting "Did you get in!?!
My partner and I were just in CA visiting some fam, and he spent 2 full days of our trip doing the calendar jigsaw puzzle and registration work to get his two littles set up for camps for the summer. I'd never seen the labor of searching, calendaring, registering in a bunch of different platforms up close before, and it was immense! We do it because the kiddos will mostly enjoy it, of course, but also because we both... need to work. It's depressing how far we're likely moving in the direction far away from systemic solutions in this political moment, too. Ugh.
We did the long vacation instead of camp last summer. Highly recommend if you can swing it. A month in India was an amazing experience for all of us.
It’s unaffordable for me to put three kids in camp. The city of SF had free camps for public school kids until last year when it was abruptly ended. An incredible program that had my kids in high quality camps that included lunch! I can guarantee our new billionaire mayor will not prioritize bringing the free camps back.
I also just like staying home with my kids and am not looking forward to when they don’t like staying home with me!
One small silver lining of needing summer camp to be child care because two working parents is that it creates opportunities for my child to be around more economic diversity than her public school in our bougie town creates. She has primarily done YMCA day camp for the past few years, and the counselors are many different types of people, still young and likely have many of the challenges of managing diverse needs of a large group of kids. But they are also providing my child with the chance to build relationships with people who don't fit a single mold (not everyone wants to sing songs on the bus, including my easily overstimulated child, and one of the counselors her first year gave her noise canceling headphones, which was such a small kindness that I really appreciated). The fellow campers are the same - wide range of economic backgrounds, all there because their parents work, and not all equally jazzed about the camp theme on any given week. But still there and figuring it out. Same is true of afterschool care, which is minimally utilized at her school and is clearly seen by the kids as a place to go if you can't afford to have a mom or a nanny pick you up right after school. We have so many privileges and flexibility and do pick her up some days, but also need the coverage until the end of the workday sometimes. And equally importantly, I want to support these systems that provide a safe place for all kids to support all parents in doing what they need to do that goes past 3 pm. And it somehow feels like an important representation of that to my kids to find these summer and afterschool spaces that are more inclusive in at least some ways.
Two weeks booked at different camps as of last Thursday. The other programs will open registration in March and April. Luckily two of the three are town- and grant-subsidized and much less expensive, but I’ve been saving $ for about 6 weeks now, will save for another 8 or so.
Our small town also does a less expensive extended-day camp program for 6 weeks, and the school district does a grant-funded free extended-day program for 5 weeks. My kid is neurodivergent and non-binary; these particular camps aren’t great for them, but I’m grateful they exist for families here. Our other infrastructure privileges are a solid town beach at small nearby lake, so it’s easy to go swimming all summer, and a state program that subsidizes summer camps costs, up to 700 per family. It’s not a ton of money, but it helps! (I suspect it may have been pandemic-era federal money, though, as I haven’t seen notice of it for 2025.) Our immense personal privilege includes my remote, flexible work schedule and my husband’s flexible work schedule. Also our kid is a young teen, big difference from the early elementary years.
As the parent of a neurodivergent child, thank you for acknowledging the added complexity of scheduling and then managing summer plans for these kids. I cannot tell you the stress of waiting for the phone to ring from camp because I need to pick them up after a meltdown. These calls come and then, by day three of a five day camp, they are not invited back because it is ‘not the right fit’. To be clear, I do not blame the camps - they’re staffed with high school kids and college students and they are likely not equipped to deal with some of the challenges my child presents in a group environment. But paying $500 for them to attend a camp for 5 days and receiving only 3 days of care? Well it sucks and there’s a lot of (misplaced) shame and embarrassment afterward. Thankfully, these calls are coming less and less as we have found great camps for them and they have been better able to manage changes in routine. But the problems of summer childcare are vast, with very little support, for parents like me. (Edited to help maintain my child’s privacy)
This. There is exactly ONE camp within a 30 minute minutes commute of my house that offers supplemental support for kids with disabilities. (And of course they closed their convenient location and the remaining location is chockablock with unavoidable transitions onto and off of the bus. Exactly what I need.) I’m now in limbo waiting to see if one of the college kids they hire happens to be qualified/inclined to support my kid. Because the other choice is to send him to a “therapeutic” camp, and those run for even less time AND two of the three somewhat near us are hard nos because of their “autism is bad” attitude. But if we don’t send him somewhere for at least some of the summer, he’ll be back to pandemic levels of isolation. Argh.
I'm so worried about this--I have a 5 year old who is starting kindergarten this fall. His PreK program told me they couldn't handle him and I had to find a new spot for him. He still doesn't have a diagnosis so not sure entirely how to even explain his needs to the camp. On the one hand, maybe it was just a bad preK fit? On the other hand, how do I prepare him? Plus the investment in camp...
I also had my child leave a prep program because of fit. I totally understand and empathize with your concerns. It is so so hard but we have found certain ways to help plan. Trying to maintain routine in the summer to the degree possible (eg. No change in bedtime, pack the same foods, keep the same wind down schedule etc). Think about your kids triggers and how they manifest and then see if you can find camps that won’t include these. As an example, I enrolled my son in a bunch of sports camps because he’s athletic and loves to run around. BUT he could not handle the competition aspect and these almost always blew up, sometimes spectacularly. What has worked are camps where he may not have a real interest in the ‘theme’ but that are guaranteed not to include triggers. Examples are art and photography, nature. The actives include ZERO competitive elements or opportunities for conflict and he’s actually found them really relaxing and restful.
This is so real. We experienced multiple times finding camps that were great for my kid’s interests, but terrible for handling even very mild divergences. Not to mention unable to address bullying or bias among (young) adult caregivers. Summer camp - so expensive, and such low quality!
One of the most popular camps around here (full day care! buses for transport! and the kids love it!) opens their registration on January 1, at some unspecified time in the morning. Yes, New Years Day. And god forbid you don't keep hitting refresh until you find the magic time they decide to open registration, or you won't get a spot, and your kid won't get to do the ropes course with their friends, and on January 2 you'll be scrambling to fill your calendar spreadsheet with the remaining options and when registration opens , hoping you can fill those childcare gaps with camps your kids will be happy to go to.
(This year, with the added bonus of no child support schedule yet but a not-yet-ex who decided he's not interested in contributing payment for any of said camps and wants me to "leave time for him to spend with the kids" but also won't commit to providing any specific chunks of that time, let alone full weeks, and expects me to be able cobble together sufficient care that is enriching and doesn't involve them watching tv while I try to work)
"leave time for him to spend with the kids", this made me rage on your behalf. The audacity of men ! Must be nice to have kids when you're a man, you don't have to take care of them, it's just like accessories that you can "have" whenever is convenient
Oh yes, I carry the camp mental load in our family. One camp started reg in September and was booked by the time one child told me they REALLY wanted to go to it, last November. The two camps I got the kids in to book in early January. There are two other summer programs we really like and I will not find out anything about them until April at the earliest.
In June my parents will ask me "so how about this week in July for vacation with us?" and I will say to them, as I have said for years now, "you needed to ask me this last December."
"The “classic” American summer of staying home to watch too much TV except when your mom took you to the town pool or made you go fend for yourself outside no longer feels like a responsible or accessible parenting decision" - Why? Why isn't that responsible? Because your kids won't get into ivy league colleges? My kids are in their early to mid twenties now so my experience is from 15 or so years ago. The summer camp thing was the same back then-expensive, weird hours, a nightmare to sign up, all about "enrichment” to get into a good college…first, we didn’t have the money to put the kids in camps. I worked from home and it would have taken a big chunk of my salary, it would have stressed me out managing the changing schedule and driving them all over, my neurodivergent kids would have and been overwhelmed…and I refused to buy into the group think that this was the correct way to parent. Fuck all that nonsense! My kids slept in and when they woke up they made themselves breakfast and farted around the house, sure sometimes watching TV or playing a video game but not always. They knew they could have enough time so they didn’t feel the need to frantically cram in screen time during any free moment. I’d get up early and work at my desk until lunch. Then we’d eat and head out to the neighborhood pool or a matinee movie. Sometimes friends would come over, thrilled to be playing at a house instead of at a scheduled up the wazoo camp. We all needed that break from the tyranny of the clock and having to always be going going going. They didn’t end up at Harvard and that’s ok. Their colleges were good, their grades As & Bs. You don’t have to jump on the hamster wheel. “Everybody” isn’t doing it. The hardest thing was the pressure from other moms for not fitting in. Occasionally my kids would request a week camp and we’d say sure. However, it was never as fun as they thought - my son still brings up this one hellish camp where he got heat sick one day and another day carpooling home with friends one boy threw up in the car (heat sick , car sick, exhausted from his “fun” day). They have good memories of swimming, walking to the 7-11 to get slurpies, walking to the comic book store, making stop motion lego movies, making homemade ice cream…. I’m grateful I worked from home and could give my kids a non responsible summer break.
It’s not accessible if you don’t have an adult who can be home all day or if your kids are younger (like under 7) and need more hands on caregiving. I am just now getting to the years when it is possible for my family but I couldn’t have done my own wfh job without at least my younger kiddo in some kind of camp until this year. I hear you about getting off the hamster wheel and I feel v privileged to be getting there! Just wanted to acknowledge that it’s not doable for lots of folks.
Another complicating piece is that there usually aren't other kids around because they're all in camps or other programs. So even if a family is actively choosing a low-key summer without camps, it's not like the days of yore when kids could roam the neighborhood and "be home by dark." And if you do let your kids be "free range," someone might literally call the cops on you! Lenore Skenazy's "Let Grow" has some helpful info on state laws and ways of connecting with other families in your community. https://letgrow.org/
prefacing this by saying that I don't have kids, but it is so distressing how many things--summer play, riding the school bus, ignoring all the extra dress up days, new holiday traditions, etc etc--aren't options for some parents today because other parents aren't opting out. and several of my friends are in anguish about this; they feel stuck because their kiddos want to do all the things their friends are doing. and who doesn't? all of the empathy for everyone involved. it feels like, from the outside, that there is no clear path, let alone an easy one
We were really poor when my kids were babies/toddlers because I had a job, not a career. We couldn’t afford for me to work. My friends with salaried full time jobs had nannies when their kids were tiny and then they switched to summer camps once the kids were in preschool. It’s true I don’t know how to juggle a good job with childcare. Sometimes more money =more headaches. My daughter is autistic so I certainly understand needing to be hands on. Being at home was cheaper and easier. I have a friend with younger kids and what she spends on summer camps is my salary for the year
Right, or single moms who need to work and don’t have a wfh job or a grandparent/other support person nearby… just lots of permutations where kids staying home isn’t always feasible even once we strip back the performative parenting piece. Though I absolutely acknowledge the class anxiety piece is what drives up camp costs in a privatized, for profit system!
You are 100% right. The camp madness is my area is all entirely optional, for kids 8+ who could easily be staying at home by themselves for long periods of the day. It's competitive registration for private horse camp and elite sports and ceramics classes and robotics and matching complex schedules with friends. The affordable, basic full day city camps aren't competitive bc they are a last resort after affluent parents haven't gotten horse camp. There are no camps for kids under 5. There's nothing for people who are actually in need - no accessibility for kids with disabilities (NONE - how is that legal!) and minimal scholarships for families who can't afford 500 - 800 dollars a week. I am all for systemic change (I work full time in Medicaid policy advocacy and volunteer full time for free on behalf of our title 1 public school) but for us to get there parents with privilege need to think beyond their own family unit and the urge to optimize their own kids' achievement trajectory. If you can uproot your professional life and work from a tropical country for 2.5 months you have a job that could accommodate a non infant/toddler child home with you for a portion of the day.
Thank you, Virginia, for adding to the chorus about the deep, deep problems with summer care and for so generously highlighting my work!
I think we should all really question the idea that an unscheduled summer isn't responsible parenting. I work full time but from home, and I let my 7 turning 8 (mid summer bday) year old stay home all summer last year with me. She did 2.5 camps and a week at camp auntie+cousin. She read literally 100s of books, sat outside in the sun, and rested her brain. We are a minimal screen house and there was no screen time. Boredom is good for developing brains. There was a great paper in a Pediatrics journal a few years ago about the mental health crisis in kids and the researchers linked anxiety in young people to a lack of unstructured, unsupervised time. I know that Anxious Generation book is all the rage these days but this paper was much more compelling to me than Jonathan Haidt. The idea that older elementary age kids of white collar intellectual workers need a packed summer is a self enforcing class narrative, not a reality. Young kids, sure - I can't work for a single minute with my 4 year old home. (Ironically, there are no camps for 4 yr olds.) And privilege is huge here, safety might be a bigger issue for parents working 12 hour shifts - but the folks driving this camp dynamic are affluent parents, not working class ones.
I moved from Brooklyn to Cambridge MA and was shocked that it was impossible to find full day camp for both my preschool and elementary aged kids. (Even though cost of living is arguably as bad or worse!) Full day for two parents with 40 hour jobs means 8-6 and best I could do was 9-4. I’m always shocked when extended day is considered going until 3. We are privileged to pay but literally can’t find ways to buy our way out. I have no idea how single parents or people with less resources make this work. This has completely changed my relationship to work. I have not fully pursued full time employment for years as a result. Cambridge started a universal preschool program this year (cool) but failed to include ANY options for extended day in the majority of programs (including the one special ed kids MUST use, and the ones you’d prioritize if you have an older child in elementary) and then surprise the program is under-enrolled. Meanwhile a single mom friend in burbs had to register for K extended day yesterday and 4 minutes in she only got Fridays. The system is brutal to moms baseline and only getting worse with attacks from executive orders effectively targeting women and BIPOC employers and employees. I know Fed employees scrambling to figure out childcare for mandated return to office (not to mention being furloughed, having jobs rescinded etc).
Yup, and you would expect so much more from the 'People's Republic of Cambridge' right? My mom was a teacher in their preschool system and they are treated HORRIBLY, underpaid and undervalued (teachers routinely need public assistance to live, especially if they have kids, and aren't given any tuition assistance for their own kids to attend). A systemic issue that needs to be addressed as such, including how we pay and treat child care workers. Hope your summer goes okay!
yes, I was also going to chime in to say that when these things aren't staffed by high schoolers and college interns, the pay and benefits are so abysmal for the people who actually do the work. caregiving, whether of children or elders or in between is frightfully underpaid and valued, just as you said. (I don't know about Cambridge itself, but just imagine how bad it is in the southeast)
So I’m a step mom to a second grader. We have 50% custody, which basically means that my husband has managed to relieve himself from any of the mental load associated with his daughter and his ex and I probably split it 75-25. She texted the group chat about summer camp last week. I literally don’t know what my schedule will be this summer (I’m trying to get a new job closer to home).
My husband is in a moderately grueling professional program (I say moderately, because he acts like it’s keeping him from being more involved, but I did fourth year of veterinary school pregnant and was still quite involved in the raising of a child that I have no biological ties to, so I’m a little salty). We’ve toyed with alternating weeks this summer instead of our typical 5-2-2-5 (alternating weekends, same weeknights) schedule, that way we could pick camps that were better for each household. Given that I’m probably going to be doing most of the drop off and pick up, I told his ex to just do whatever camp worked best for her that the kid most wanted to go to because I’m still 6 weeks from knowing my new job/hours and 4 months from starting it. I can’t wait until May when my husband asks what the plan for summer camp is and freaks out about whether it works with his schedule.
Maybe I’m in a mood today because after freaking out about how I was putting him in a tough spot by going to a work conference for 5 days at the end of the month, it turns out that the rotation he’s on that has 8:30-5:00 hours and is at the same hospital where our toddler goes to daycare (but don’t worry guys his mom is coming to help him out anyways).
Just...I see you, fellow stepmom. ♥️
We signed up for the first round of camp in SEPTEMBER. I couldn't believe it. And just this morning my husband sat patiently at the computer to get spots at the very coveted Zoo camp. My husband does all the summer camp stuff and he just sent me the magic spreadsheet with all the weeks set up. I greatly appreciate his love of spreadsheets.
Hi, Kathryn! Zoo Camp was a huge deal in my day, so I'm glad your kids are getting to do that, too!
Thanks, Nancy! Oh yes, zoo camp is the camp all my kids have loved and request every year and of course is the hardest to get a spot. Last year the website crashed when the registration opened. It's definitely an important summer memory.
I mostly remember how bad the penguins smelled!!!
I know this fixes nothing but as the mom of a now 15 year old that I'm requiring to get a job this summer, I just want to say there is a light at the end of the fucked up childcare-less tunnel.
I was thinking this too! My kid will be 15 in May and I think he might actually get to WORK at the day camp he went to for years and was a CIT for last summer!
Hitting a little too close to home today as I'm literally sitting at the computer at this moment waiting for the 8am registration to open 😩
Can we also talk about the fact that camp registrations always seem to open on a Monday at 8 am or some other impossible time when working parents are simultaneously finishing getting their kids off to school and scrambling to get into work? It’s the parents who need summer camps the most so they can work who are most likely unable to drop everything at registration time to snag a coveted spot, which will go with the hour if you arent on top of it.
Or (I don’t know what’s worse) some of the best camps near me open registration on one of the rare days everyone has off like Black Friday or New Years Day so you feel like you can’t relax and have to wake up at an ungodly hour to register for camp.
It’s exhausting!
Our local parks & rec camp registration used to open at 5:30 AM on a specified day- that you had to know to look for on their website (!!). They changed it post-pandemic to be a more accessible time of noon, but still a challenge for working parents. I bonded deeply with some other moms over those 5 AM wakeups and clicking like crazy to get in the virtual queue. At 5:35 we'd all be texting "Did you get in!?!
My partner and I were just in CA visiting some fam, and he spent 2 full days of our trip doing the calendar jigsaw puzzle and registration work to get his two littles set up for camps for the summer. I'd never seen the labor of searching, calendaring, registering in a bunch of different platforms up close before, and it was immense! We do it because the kiddos will mostly enjoy it, of course, but also because we both... need to work. It's depressing how far we're likely moving in the direction far away from systemic solutions in this political moment, too. Ugh.
We did the long vacation instead of camp last summer. Highly recommend if you can swing it. A month in India was an amazing experience for all of us.
It’s unaffordable for me to put three kids in camp. The city of SF had free camps for public school kids until last year when it was abruptly ended. An incredible program that had my kids in high quality camps that included lunch! I can guarantee our new billionaire mayor will not prioritize bringing the free camps back.
I also just like staying home with my kids and am not looking forward to when they don’t like staying home with me!
One small silver lining of needing summer camp to be child care because two working parents is that it creates opportunities for my child to be around more economic diversity than her public school in our bougie town creates. She has primarily done YMCA day camp for the past few years, and the counselors are many different types of people, still young and likely have many of the challenges of managing diverse needs of a large group of kids. But they are also providing my child with the chance to build relationships with people who don't fit a single mold (not everyone wants to sing songs on the bus, including my easily overstimulated child, and one of the counselors her first year gave her noise canceling headphones, which was such a small kindness that I really appreciated). The fellow campers are the same - wide range of economic backgrounds, all there because their parents work, and not all equally jazzed about the camp theme on any given week. But still there and figuring it out. Same is true of afterschool care, which is minimally utilized at her school and is clearly seen by the kids as a place to go if you can't afford to have a mom or a nanny pick you up right after school. We have so many privileges and flexibility and do pick her up some days, but also need the coverage until the end of the workday sometimes. And equally importantly, I want to support these systems that provide a safe place for all kids to support all parents in doing what they need to do that goes past 3 pm. And it somehow feels like an important representation of that to my kids to find these summer and afterschool spaces that are more inclusive in at least some ways.
Two weeks booked at different camps as of last Thursday. The other programs will open registration in March and April. Luckily two of the three are town- and grant-subsidized and much less expensive, but I’ve been saving $ for about 6 weeks now, will save for another 8 or so.
Our small town also does a less expensive extended-day camp program for 6 weeks, and the school district does a grant-funded free extended-day program for 5 weeks. My kid is neurodivergent and non-binary; these particular camps aren’t great for them, but I’m grateful they exist for families here. Our other infrastructure privileges are a solid town beach at small nearby lake, so it’s easy to go swimming all summer, and a state program that subsidizes summer camps costs, up to 700 per family. It’s not a ton of money, but it helps! (I suspect it may have been pandemic-era federal money, though, as I haven’t seen notice of it for 2025.) Our immense personal privilege includes my remote, flexible work schedule and my husband’s flexible work schedule. Also our kid is a young teen, big difference from the early elementary years.