I’ve read your book and listened to Burnt Toast for years now and been working on my own relationship with my body and have a child in a larger body and been reparenting myself despite my mother living downstairs and and and…
And when you answered the first woman’s question about her niece, I STILL felt a sob rise up in my body. I’ve been that kid and have that kid and it just never doesn’t make me FEEL so deeply. So, I really appreciate your work, this group, and everyone who continues to push our society to just be better.
I loved this so much (also love that I live so close to an Old Navy that has all the plus sizes in store! I didn’t know that was a thing at other places. Grateful for my little outlier shop.)
The book and this conversation continues to be a gift, Virginia!
THIS: "Having a kid who eats is a privilege and something to be celebrated."
I wish people didn't have to learn this truth the hard way. Thank goodness for your books, Virginia, because I do think they offer a powerful window into how easily things can go sideways.
It's especially painful to see families who've been taught they have to "optimize" their kids' nutrition because that level of anxiety/pressure is probably compromising the connection piece around food and increasing the risk for disordered eating and eating disorders. Maybe the privilege of being able to tinker around the edges with your child's micro and macro nutrients isn't really a "luxury" after all.
Loved everything about this, but especially “Sir, are you a registered dietitian?”. I think I might need that on a sweatshirt or tote bag or something.
This was so great! Thanks for podcast-ifying it. I'm a high school teacher in a public school in LA and I run a parent teacher book club. We have parents who work in the entertainment industry or are industry adjacent into addition to just normal parents. I so want to read Fat Talk with them, but I'm the fattest person in the room and it gives me such qualms. I think I'll rec it for our March or April read (this month's read is Margo's Got Money Troubles which is not quite school friendly....).
On a completely random note: Virginia, can you please tell me more about the dress you are wearing because I love it.
I teach in a public school and it occurred to me that there are few ways for parents to be involved at the high school level(where in an elementary school, there are dozens of ways). So we started a book club because I wanted to shift the relationship I had to the parents and it has been such a blessing. It's just parents and teachers and we usually only talk about a small part of the book (my expertise is discussing books with people who haven't read them!). Just getting to know parents in a non-grade-discussion has been so healthy for me.
That woman whose husband was right there! Wow I wish I could see video of that interaction. What she described is often an argument with me and my husband too. But I don't think he would come with me to your event, so good for that husband, I guess.
Oh my gosh, that first question resonates so strongly with me (not just because this woman's accent sounds like my whole family on Long Island). I was a size 6 before the pandemic and now I'm a 12, and my mother told me last summer when she came to visit that the change in my body was shocking to her and was causing her anxiety and panic attacks because she was so worried for my health and wellbeing. But I realized that I had been restricting for years even if I wasn't aware of it, I had a lot of anxiety and stress around food and planning my food and all of that, and I'm actually a lot healthier OVERALL now (not to mention in better shape from swimming a lot, in a way I wasn't strong enough to do when I wasn't eating enough!). I know it all comes from a place of care and worry and love, but I won't change my body for anybody at this point.
Also- my kindergartener came home last week and said “Billy said Johnny was fat.” I said “what did you say?” She said “I told Johnny!” I was like “what did Johnny say?” She said “I don’t think he heard me.”
I did not know what to say or what advice to give. I stumbly got thru it and was like “first of all- there is nothing wrong with being fat. And making fun of people’s bodies for any reason is not a cool move.” I wasn’t sure if I should say- maybe in the future don’t repeat mean words other friends say, because I really don’t want her to think fat is bad.
That is how I grew up and it’s so hard to unlearn this stuff. This episode helped, shes only in kinder but knows about racism. I might frame it like that in the future- so like you said, she can spot it.
“My husband is right here.” LOL
FWIW, I talked to them afterwards and they were both lovely and I think he understands his assignment is now to read the book!
I’ve read your book and listened to Burnt Toast for years now and been working on my own relationship with my body and have a child in a larger body and been reparenting myself despite my mother living downstairs and and and…
And when you answered the first woman’s question about her niece, I STILL felt a sob rise up in my body. I’ve been that kid and have that kid and it just never doesn’t make me FEEL so deeply. So, I really appreciate your work, this group, and everyone who continues to push our society to just be better.
Thank you, that means so much. I still feel the sob rise up every time I answer one of those questions! We're working on the better.
I loved this so much (also love that I live so close to an Old Navy that has all the plus sizes in store! I didn’t know that was a thing at other places. Grateful for my little outlier shop.)
The book and this conversation continues to be a gift, Virginia!
"It’s just like, actually your body doesn’t have any impact on how much respect you deserve."
My goodness. One thousand percent this.
Yay! I’m so glad this convo turned into a podcast ep. Also, shout-out to me for sneaking a photo of my animal print iPad holder into Burnt Toast. 😂
Umm the animal print is why I grabbed the photo so fast!
😂 (🐆)
THIS: "Having a kid who eats is a privilege and something to be celebrated."
I wish people didn't have to learn this truth the hard way. Thank goodness for your books, Virginia, because I do think they offer a powerful window into how easily things can go sideways.
It's especially painful to see families who've been taught they have to "optimize" their kids' nutrition because that level of anxiety/pressure is probably compromising the connection piece around food and increasing the risk for disordered eating and eating disorders. Maybe the privilege of being able to tinker around the edges with your child's micro and macro nutrients isn't really a "luxury" after all.
Loved everything about this, but especially “Sir, are you a registered dietitian?”. I think I might need that on a sweatshirt or tote bag or something.
This was so great! Thanks for podcast-ifying it. I'm a high school teacher in a public school in LA and I run a parent teacher book club. We have parents who work in the entertainment industry or are industry adjacent into addition to just normal parents. I so want to read Fat Talk with them, but I'm the fattest person in the room and it gives me such qualms. I think I'll rec it for our March or April read (this month's read is Margo's Got Money Troubles which is not quite school friendly....).
On a completely random note: Virginia, can you please tell me more about the dress you are wearing because I love it.
Former high school English teacher here (also in LA). Your parent-teacher book club sounds amazing!
I teach in a public school and it occurred to me that there are few ways for parents to be involved at the high school level(where in an elementary school, there are dozens of ways). So we started a book club because I wanted to shift the relationship I had to the parents and it has been such a blessing. It's just parents and teachers and we usually only talk about a small part of the book (my expertise is discussing books with people who haven't read them!). Just getting to know parents in a non-grade-discussion has been so healthy for me.
I love that! (Thought I had already responded, but I'm not sure what happened. So maybe you'll get two replies!)
That woman whose husband was right there! Wow I wish I could see video of that interaction. What she described is often an argument with me and my husband too. But I don't think he would come with me to your event, so good for that husband, I guess.
Yes he actually seemed pretty open to the conversation — I’m hoping anyway!!!
Loved this! So good
Oh my gosh, that first question resonates so strongly with me (not just because this woman's accent sounds like my whole family on Long Island). I was a size 6 before the pandemic and now I'm a 12, and my mother told me last summer when she came to visit that the change in my body was shocking to her and was causing her anxiety and panic attacks because she was so worried for my health and wellbeing. But I realized that I had been restricting for years even if I wasn't aware of it, I had a lot of anxiety and stress around food and planning my food and all of that, and I'm actually a lot healthier OVERALL now (not to mention in better shape from swimming a lot, in a way I wasn't strong enough to do when I wasn't eating enough!). I know it all comes from a place of care and worry and love, but I won't change my body for anybody at this point.
I loved listening to this! Thank you!
This was fantastic, thank you for putting it into a podcast + transcript.
That was so good. Thank you for sharing
Also- my kindergartener came home last week and said “Billy said Johnny was fat.” I said “what did you say?” She said “I told Johnny!” I was like “what did Johnny say?” She said “I don’t think he heard me.”
I did not know what to say or what advice to give. I stumbly got thru it and was like “first of all- there is nothing wrong with being fat. And making fun of people’s bodies for any reason is not a cool move.” I wasn’t sure if I should say- maybe in the future don’t repeat mean words other friends say, because I really don’t want her to think fat is bad.
That is how I grew up and it’s so hard to unlearn this stuff. This episode helped, shes only in kinder but knows about racism. I might frame it like that in the future- so like you said, she can spot it.