27 Comments
Sep 22, 2022Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Love this love you gonna be that girl. Want to point out the addiction inoculation is pretty steeped in twelve step thinking (because that is the authors path, and when you read it with as much nuance is available to you from reading all the addiction books, becomes clear) which is fine and great and works for many but also, based on what I know or think your beliefs are, is not what I’d recommend to parents at all. I’d suggest Carrie Wilkins work, beyond addiction, and beyond addiction workbook, the center for motivation and change, the beyond addiction podcast, and probably Gabor mates work in childhood development. These are all folks who take a harm reduction approach and also a person-first approach (meaning, do your own work instead of the old school tough love/drugs are bad stuff.) Maia szalavitz is a great resource too (undoing drugs, unbroken brain). Xx

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Holly THANK YOU. These resources are so useful (and I'd love to have you on the pod sometime to discuss the many intersections of sobriety and diet culture...).

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Sorry this is specific to parenting and raising kids intersecting with their potential drug use (since that’s what the addiction inoculation was meant to be about, how to keep your kids off drugs etc.)

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Hey Holly! Thank you for helping me get sober 5 years ago!

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Darcy!! Yay you. xx

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith, Corinne Fay

Great episode! I’m personally excited you’re going to tackle fatphobia and pets at some point, Virginia! There is SO much of it. I’ve had cats and dogs my entire adult life and have logged lots of vet time with all kinds of issues, both common and baroque. I just wanted to say, a la Ragen Chastain, that so much of veterinary research on pets is based on very small sample sizes and sometimes totally different species of animal! (Also trends in human diet culture, like “grain free” enter into our pet’s lives with not so great consequences. ) Also - I’m so sorry about Bunny’s UTIs, Corrine! I just wanted to offer that in my experience, even if weight loss would improve an animal’s health situation, it’s just as difficult for them to physically tolerate the discomfort of restriction as it is for us. (Which can lead to other kinds of problems, behavioral and otherwise.) So, I heartily second asking for other options beside food restriction!

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Oh god, this is all fascinating.

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Ok, now I want to help you find sources so it will move up your "to write" list! :)

I personally don't know about any truly weight-neutral vets -- the closest I got was a vet who didn't care as much about weight, but told me I needed to be able to feel and count my dog's ribs and otherwise she weighed too much. (!) But it's probably easier to find ones that will critique the diet culture trends that have seeped into pet diets. When I started feeding pets in the late 1990s, I was told to only feed dry food, wet food was too fattening. (This was when people were more anti-meat.) Then, during Atkins and anti-carb mania, I was told to NEVER feed dry, analogies made to feeding them bowls of potato chips, much shaming involved in that. Then when the worm turned to gluten-free in diet culture, the grain-free stuff kicked in. This did cause actual heart problems among dogs, the FDA got involved etc.: https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/nutrition/grain-free-dog-food-bad-or-good/. So a number of potentially helpful vets are quoted in that article.

Also, a lot of the armchair "analysis" around what to feed dogs, at least, was based on ideas of what wolves would eat in the wild. This is really poor logic for so many reasons and it greatly affects how dogs are treated overall, not just in how we feed them. Although she focuses on psychology, Alexandra Horowitz might be a good source or at least a place to start. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/minds-animals/200909/why-do-we-treat-dogs-so-much-better-we-treat-wolves. https://barnard.edu/profiles/alexandra-horowitz

Probably more than you needed to know! But at least it's fodder for the just-in-case file. :)

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Thank you for this excellent research brief!

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I have been singing the praises of JJill Ponte slim leg pants forever. I love them so much. They are the most comfortable soft pants I’ve found and they work for my IRL work setting. They come in sizes up to 4x. I wear them at least 4 days/week. Highly recommend!

https://www.jjill.com/product/versatile-ponte-slim-leg-pants-249351780m?jid=94656259&category=P&gclid=Cj0KCQjwj7CZBhDHARIsAPPWv3fhaJ8sOD5AI2B0iLcFZMpHtAr5wNHnt5yUj8eKDlUwtB4ku8G7dNIaAg1uEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

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OH yes, I have heard you sing this praise and now I need to try them.

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I understand the problem of traveling and finding a gym--that said, I cannot highly enough recommend Casey Johnston's Liftoff couch-to-barbell program. I started in early August and mustered up the courage to join a big-heavy-weights gym and it makes me feel so badass. https://www.caseyjohnston.net/

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This is what I came to say. I joined at about that same time and I could not love it more.

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Yes! That's the program Corinne is doing! Or rather, may return to doing once she gets weights!

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I’m sure I heard about it a few months ago when you and Corinne discussed it.

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Sep 23, 2022Liked by Corinne Fay

I wear a lot of stuff that I think falls under the umbrella of “business casual” for work, though I often stop short of it. Universal Standard is my sweet spot—they have some Sloan wide leg ponte pants that are pretty sharp and a lot of other pants that fall in that general category and could be dressed up or down. The ones I’m thinking of have elastic waistbands, and I’ve found that a lot of my stress around how clothing feels is from rigid waistbands, so I now only wear pants with elastic waists or dresses.

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I will also say that if US is not in your budget, those are the types of things I would look for in other places!

And for fall generally, I love a jacket moment—being able to wear layers and not sweat profusely is ideal, and I also start switching to whole shoes, but shoes/pants combos are rough. I mostly swear Fitflop Rally sneakers.

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Corinne Fay

On pet diets and UTIs, my sister's dog is on Hill's Urinary Care food prescribed by her vet because she gets UTIs and kidney stones easily. She eats however much she wants and it seems to work! I've also been told by a vet that you should feel a dog's ribs, but my favorite vet only brought up my (then 16yo) dog's weight when she lost ~3 lbs after being basically the same weight her whole life and it was one of the signs that she was declining so I was encouraged to spoil her in every way.

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Oct 3, 2022Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I really enjoy the Corinne-Virginia dynamic. You both bring so much to these answers.

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Sep 22, 2022Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

So many good resources! I also loved the sugar addiction conversation. I would absolutely love to. Anytime. Thank you for your work. xx

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Crap that was meant to go under your comment

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LOL, I found it. Will be in touch! xx

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THANK YOU for mentioning pet diet stuff! A few months ago, when I was pretty early on in my diet-culture awakening or whatever and pretty vulnerable, my vet told me it would be good if my cat could lose one pound. ONE POUND. And it was so upsetting! It seemed so arbitrary! I don't have a scale for myself, much less my cat, and it just seemed SO diet-culture-y! Of course I don't want her to get feline diabetes or whatever, but does weighing more actually ~cause~ that or is it just correlated or what? I know pets aren't necessarily your niche but would be VERY interested if you did happen to do some research there <3

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My partner and I had our friend's cat stay with us for 3 weeks recently while she visited family. The feeding instructions were 1 can of wet food in the morning and one scoop of dry food at night. By day 2 it was obviously not enough for the cat to be happy and we started making the dry food available for her all day, which she would nibble at throughout the day. She ate at least an extra scoop per day. We haven't talked with our friend about it, in part because I'm nervous about how it could turn into a human diet culture conversation, but I am concerned for the kitty and our friend that these strict eating times and amount is not healthy for either of them.

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A) I love the lantern pants they feel like pj’s that somehow you can wear to work.

B) I have considered emailing you about pet weight but felt too self conscious! It’s wild that other people are thinking about this. When we got our cat, she was a little over a year old and weighted six pounds. At her appointment, the vet said she was the “perfect weight.” Which my partner has definitely fixated on as the cat continues to get bigger. But like...she was too anxious to eat much in the shelter? And she was a stray before that?

Also, there is a cute Netflix special on cats that we saw recently, and I really enjoyed it overall, but it had to talk about how cats are having a weight problem!

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So late to the party, but wanted to make a comment about dogs and treats and weight and how to have many options for treats that allow a dog to eat as many as they need/want to reach behavior goals...I also have a reactive dog who came skinnny at “just the right size” and now weighs more and is also “just the right size” and this is what works for her and us to have lots of options.

Anyway, to increase her treats amounts while still keeping her interested in them (she will stop being as helped by treats when full), we both use part of most of her actual kibble that has been sitting in a Tupperware with hot dog bits, all the traditional people food treats like hot dogs and shredded chicken or cheese, and we also taste test and rotate in a variety of other foods she loves that are plant based and don’t fill her up as fast- she flips over blueberries and green beans, enjoys carrots in rotation, likes Cheerios. Also the easy cheese can- high value, easy to do s lot of little treats!

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Grapes and twizzlers are my go to road-trip snacks!

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