The tears that sprang to my eyes when Brianna said she felt desperate when dating in her 20s. So relatable. A part of the work I'm currently doing in therapy is to forgive and love that desperate 20 something. I felt so seen.
What an incredible, hopeful and just lovely conversation.
I had to take some deep breaths when Bri shared the story about what happened while working at the ED treatment program. I've seen that issue come up a few times with families and treatment providers, and I've seen it go a few different ways.
I wasn’t familiar with Bri so really enjoyed this. Did a dive into her IG and found so much helpful info in her posts. Especially regarding photos and hating the way you look in photos and hot to respond to that. I struggle with that and often feel great then see a photo of my self and beat myself up over how I look then get mad at myself for being upset by the photo. She has a lot of great info on how to reframe that and deal with it. Thanks for sharing this and introducing me to her work!
(tw: I talk about medical trauma related to ED stuff below)
This piece was a difficult, necessary read for me. I developed anorexia as an "obese" thirteen year old, and it took me experiencing now-permanent physical damage and becoming severely underweight at fifteen to be taken seriously enough for institutionalization as treatment (which is, of course, abusive and carceral in and of itself). It was so difficult to be a teenager and recognize the profound violence of systemic antifatness –– that the medical industry would, it seemed, rather have me actively dying than fat, and was ready to trivialize my struggles right up until the point of heart failure, only because at that moment, I happened to be thin enough to count.
I know this is a post that's mostly about dating, but I think that the politics of desirability go so far beyond that, and perhaps my first encounter with their persuasive power was when I realized that if I practiced slow death in the right way, I could make myself appealing enough to be cared for. This grim knowledge radicalized me (though I wouldn't have called it at the time) and continues to animate my accompliceship to fat people as a formerly fat anorexic who now benefits from thin privilege. Desirability is a death machine.
The tears that sprang to my eyes when Brianna said she felt desperate when dating in her 20s. So relatable. A part of the work I'm currently doing in therapy is to forgive and love that desperate 20 something. I felt so seen.
What an incredible, hopeful and just lovely conversation.
OH sweet friend. She doesn't need to be forgiven. She did the best she could to survive. You are SEEN and loved. xo
This whole conversation is a joy! So much to learn here for anyone who has a body, of any shape or size. Thanks to both of you.
I had to take some deep breaths when Bri shared the story about what happened while working at the ED treatment program. I've seen that issue come up a few times with families and treatment providers, and I've seen it go a few different ways.
I love you both!!! ❤️
Another incredible conversation! I never tire of hearing these incredible voices in the body liberation space. Thank you!
I wasn’t familiar with Bri so really enjoyed this. Did a dive into her IG and found so much helpful info in her posts. Especially regarding photos and hating the way you look in photos and hot to respond to that. I struggle with that and often feel great then see a photo of my self and beat myself up over how I look then get mad at myself for being upset by the photo. She has a lot of great info on how to reframe that and deal with it. Thanks for sharing this and introducing me to her work!
I loved this so very much! Thank you both!!
This was so joyful and fun!!!
Bri is so lovely! What a gift! Thank you both
(tw: I talk about medical trauma related to ED stuff below)
This piece was a difficult, necessary read for me. I developed anorexia as an "obese" thirteen year old, and it took me experiencing now-permanent physical damage and becoming severely underweight at fifteen to be taken seriously enough for institutionalization as treatment (which is, of course, abusive and carceral in and of itself). It was so difficult to be a teenager and recognize the profound violence of systemic antifatness –– that the medical industry would, it seemed, rather have me actively dying than fat, and was ready to trivialize my struggles right up until the point of heart failure, only because at that moment, I happened to be thin enough to count.
I know this is a post that's mostly about dating, but I think that the politics of desirability go so far beyond that, and perhaps my first encounter with their persuasive power was when I realized that if I practiced slow death in the right way, I could make myself appealing enough to be cared for. This grim knowledge radicalized me (though I wouldn't have called it at the time) and continues to animate my accompliceship to fat people as a formerly fat anorexic who now benefits from thin privilege. Desirability is a death machine.