58 Comments
Mar 28Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

> as like a gift to their childhood self they get a doll as an adult, even if they are not parents.

Oh hi, it's me. I had a Molly doll as a child (I identify deeply with chaos queer Molly, sorry not sorry this is canon), and a couple of years ago I went on a little spree on ebay buying vintage accessories that I desperately wanted as a kid. Like, the lunchbox with individual fake food in it? The birthday decorations set?? YES PLEASE. I have no children, I don't plan on having children...I might pass them on to my nieces eventually, but in the moment it was something I just wanted to do for internal child me.

Expand full comment
author

Adore this for you!

Expand full comment
author

I love this SO much! (Also love Molly as an obvious - to me - queer queen.

Expand full comment
Mar 28Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

This is WONDERFUL.

Expand full comment
Mar 28Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I loved everything about this episode. The family texts, the history, the deep analysis. I'm definitely going to get Mary's book. The discussion was so fun and left me with so many thoughts. And I loved that the butter was Murder She Wrote and Barbara Streisand because those were both my mom's favorites and she's been gone almost two years and I miss her so much.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks for sharing these memories of your Mom, she had incredible taste!

Expand full comment
author

Hugs. Your mom sounds like an extremely rad person.

Expand full comment
founding
Mar 28Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I’m 8 years older than you, so missed the American Girl train—I turned 13 in 1986–but I bet I would have been into them when I was younger if they had existed. I was suuuuper into the Betsy-Tacy books in elementary school, do you know those? They’re about a trio of little girls in the early 1900s in Minnesota, who have adventures. There are also a whole bunch of ones about when they’re teenagers and dating, but I never read those. I was only interested in the ones where they were children.

As a little girl I desperately wanted more dolls to be children, as opposed to babies or teenagers or adults. I never liked Barbie, because she was an adult and what were you supposed to do with an adult? I also got the message that she was supposed to be “sexy” and I found that alienating. Not so much because it “pressured” me to be sexy or anything, more because I was like “I’m 7, what do you want me to do with that? I’m not interested in sexy.”

The dolls I was into were the mini matchbox dolls, do you remember those? They were about 3 inches long and usually beanbag, and they had little hats made out of the material of their bodies, and maybe they were supposed to be babies but I played with them as if they were children. I had like 40 of them and each one had a best friend and did gymnastics and went to the amusement park. I would write stories with them as the main characters. And I wrote lots of relational-aggression bullying stories where the girls would get revenge on their bullies.

And now I have sons, who are both really into stuffed animals (even the 13 year old!) They both have a mountain of stuffed animals on their beds. American Girl has never been on their radar.

Expand full comment

I love Betsy-Tacy so much!! I'm completely fascinated by Tib, because she has very little imagination, but I mean that as a compliment. She's so straightforward and literal, and I always identified with the Betsys and the Annes and the Arriettys, but give us more Tibs!!

Expand full comment
founding

Hail, fellow Betsy-Tracy fans! Jenny, I’m the opposite of you - I found the high school books first and only read the younger ones when I was older. I have to put in a plug for the HS books and say they’re not just about dating. Friendship, writing, music, travel, religion, careers… I read them in the late 80s/early 90s and so much of it was relatable for me!

Expand full comment
founding

I love the Betsy-Tacy books and still re-read the high school books every few years. I read the childhood ones when I was little, but those high school books totally have staying power! I was so excited maybe 12 or 14 years ago when they republished them all (in volumes of 2 high school books in one) and kept the nice covers and original drawings! I had Lyme Disease at the time and was very cranky, and my mom sent me all of them as a present. (I was in my 40s!) Apparently they're still in print--yay!

Expand full comment
founding

Betsy-Tacy were the best!! I had not thought about these books in probably 20 years before reading these comments 😂

Expand full comment
founding

I was Samantha because brown hair, brown eyes and as my mom pointed out, she had the best stuff at the time (I got Samantha when A.G. was still known as "The Pleasant Company".) Samantha still resides in my bedroom closet at my parents house actually since I have no daughters or children who want to play with American Girls dolls and all my friends kids are too old now to care, so she lingers in the dark. My mom got me a LOT of outfits for Samantha but not any for ME. I YEARNED for a pair of high buttoned boots in my size but never got them.

This is just a memory dump; I have no good cultural take aside from maybe what you're supposed to do with your good doll when you have nobody to hand it down to.

Expand full comment
author

Oh god I wanted those high buttoned boots SO BAD. (Where would we have worn them??)

Expand full comment
founding

and that million dollar question is probably why my bitch mom wouldn't buy them for me.

Expand full comment
founding
Mar 28Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I had a Samantha and her own little porcelain look alike doll from the books. I was absolutely brutal to all my dolls — Barbies too. Very few of them look anything like their original boxed look. My Samantha doll even lost a limb or two because of some tug of war play. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But I loved them and the books! My own daughter will pore over the catalogs too — and as a white mom raising a Latina, I’m appalled at how often she defaults to the blond dolls. I want the diversity, the visible differences, the disabilities, the fat dolls. My kid deserves to play in an imaginary world where she’s represented, and so are her friends.

Expand full comment
author

I think a lot of how American Girl approaches diversity actually ends up steering kids towards the blonde/white dolls. Maybe not deliberately but it somehow plays out that way. Mary and Allison unpack a lot of that in their show and book.

Expand full comment

I'm a white mom raising mixed Indian/white kids and my younger daughter is named Kavya, so Grandma bought her the Kavi doll when she came out last year. I was totally on board, you know, first South Asian AG doll, yay! And she shares my kid's name?! Yes please! And you know, my Kav LOVES that doll and keeps her dressed in her gorgeous festive lehenga (purchased separately, of course), AND YET every time the AG catalog arrives, she wants a damn blonde doll. I tried to keep my kids' dolls and books and screen options very limited to Black and brown main characters for as long as possible, to basically pre-empt the brainwashing of whiteness that I knew was coming, but it's so painfully hard to avoid the millions of ways society pushes our kids toward white, blonde, skinny beauty norms.

Expand full comment
founding

Ah Kate I so feel this! My daughter is 4.5 — and she’s also wanting blond hair and thinks blond hair is gorgeous and magical. Damn Barbie culture. She has a doll (not AG) who does have the very expensive Dia de los muertos dress and accessories from AG but chooses other clothes for her dolls most often. Like blond princess dresses. Sigh.

And then I think — am I denying her the ability to see beauty in everyone and limiting her idea of beauty? But then when she tells me she doesn’t like Moana anymore but only Elsa because of her hair, I want to melt into the ground. My brain is a fun place to live. I’m grateful to be doing this work though, for her sake and my own.

Expand full comment
Mar 28Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Aaaah, the same thing happened to me!! My sister is six years younger, and my family's finances were a lot more secure when she was American Girl doll age, so she got one! I had been desperate for one (although the accessories were my favorite), but we could never afford it. Can I also complain that my sister never really appreciated her Felicity?! Now Felicity lives in my house and belongs to my daughter (and I've reattached her arm several times), so all is right with the world.

Expand full comment
author

Oh I love that story of healing but you are still invited to my support group!!!

Expand full comment

Thank you, I still need it!

Expand full comment
Mar 28Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

My sister also got FELICITY'S RIDING OUTFIT!!!

Expand full comment
author

ONLY THE FANCIEST OF DOLL/HUMAN OUTFITS.

Expand full comment

I also am an older sister, denied an American girl doll due to finances but then my sister, four years younger, got one. Obviously I wanted Samantha because that’s my name!

Expand full comment
author

Justice for all Samanthas!!

Expand full comment

What a phenomenon this is!!

Expand full comment
founding
Mar 28Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Sorry, this has nothing to do with American Girl dolls, who only lived in catalogs for me. But this awoke a memory - my mom never got me the “my size” Barbie as a kid because she knew none of the clothes would actually be my size. She never told me this of course, but later when looking at myself in pictures it was clear that I wasn’t just “too tall” for them.

Expand full comment
author

I both love that your mom was gently protecting you here and also obviously hate that you couldn't have a Barbie in your size!

Expand full comment
founding
Mar 28Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I’ve added the book to my reading list!! Can’t wait to read it.

Expand full comment
founding
Mar 28Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Fascinating take on dolls/books which have been so integral to multiple generations of kids

Expand full comment
Apr 1Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Hey Virginia, thank you for another delightful episode! If you ever feel ready to let go of some of your dolls, there is a housing shelter in Poughkeepsie NY, “Hudson River Housing”, that may have some children that would love to welcome your dolls home.

Just a thought! I would give them a call to see if you need to arrange a drop off…. And of course, if you need to keep them i support that too ❤️

Thanks again for all your wonderful work!

Expand full comment
author

Ah! So glad to know this!! We actually pulled them out again this weekend bc this episode got my kids interested/passionately convinced I’d planned to donate them against their will. So they are enjoying a brief Renaissance now but…

Expand full comment

Hahaha of course! Im glad to hear they are enjoying them for now ❤️

Expand full comment
founding

Ah. I am so fascinated to hear other people identify as specific American Girls! I was and remain a Molly! I was actually given a Molly doll for Christmas 1986 when I was 5.5 from my paternal grandmother - a pathbreaking woman who became a neurologist and struggled for years for pay and work opportunities in the Midwest in the 1950s and 1960s…keeping in mind she went into neurology and medicine after being told women weren’t allowed to apply for programs in nuclear physics…anyway, she was passionately against Barbie culture, beauty culture, popular culture. She remains my icon despite her many human flaws! But that Molly doll and the books - all the books really, I devoured them and the stories gave me this whole rich world beyond the bullying and silliness of elementary school in the 1980s where I was the fat, smart kid. I always found Samantha annoying and Kirsten, uh, a bit dull? So anyway, my sister and I both had the dolls, and we still have them! Along with the full wardrobe and clothes etc. and now my 3 daughters and son play with them NONSTOP. We in fact have a large family of yes 7 American girl (and boy) dolls that dine, eat, live, play together in our house! To me these dolls represent something positive, despite, again, the flaws in representation and narration. They really do encourage a lot of creative play and have definitely contributed to the sibling bond of my kids. We live outside the Us and actually the stories in the books have been brought up by my eldest as examples as she tries to understand what is “American” when her friends are from 15 different countries, speak different languages, etc. despite their flaws, I find the whole American Doll culture and creation to be profoundly American and in certain ways, lovely. I will also say- not so sure I want a fat doll, or one with visible disabilities or differences? The dolls to me are pretty anodyne in their look and I do think it helps them be played with over a long period of time. We do love the representative Lego figures in our house and the kids are forever making g up now configurations. But I don’t know that every doll needs to be representative.

Expand full comment
author

Well I would argue that American Girl dolls DO need to be representative because... they are designed to represent American girls? Many of whom are (and always have been) fat, visibly disabled, etc. Do we need a fat My Little Pony? Maybe not (though I wouldn't hate it!). But this brand makes representation its mission, yet offers a pretty homogenous definition of what "American" is and should be.

Expand full comment
founding

I think that’s a fair request, I just don’t know how likely? Maybe I am just happy for something to be “not Barbie”. I will say that as a big kid, I was given the American girl clothes and they actually fit unlike so much other stuff. The empire waist on those Kirsten dresses was generous, as was Molly’s plaid sweater. I always anyway wanted a Nell doll not Samantha…had no idea there was spinoff Nell fiction!! Also I went to William & Mary, which is Colonial Williamsburg adjacent and plenty of my classmates worked in period costume while in college in…Felicity dresses.

Expand full comment
founding
Mar 28·edited Mar 28

I loved this episode! It gave me a lot to think about. I had a Felicity doll and got to go to a special "Doll and Me" weekend at Colonial Williamsburg where we did different Felicity related activities. It was a very nice weekend for my Mom and I, when I was about 9 years old (I think). Even then I remember being jealous of the other little girls who had the matching outfits. My sister later got one of the dolls that looked like her. Like others have said, the books are really great and I believe I read most of them. Molly was probably my favorite? I definitely pinned my hair up in curlers and slept on them just like she did, my Grandma got a kick out of it.

I'm glad you got some healing, Virginia!

ETA: as a horse girl I was very into Breyer model horses. Just this weekend I was in a tack store and bought myself one right on the spot, just because I could! I'm not even sure where my model horses from childhood are atm. I ended up buying the commemoriative Cheryl White & Jetarola horse with a book by Sarah Maslin Nir and Raymond White II (Cheryl's son). Cheryl White was the first American Black Female Jockey in 1971.

Expand full comment
founding

I'm dying! My family has this SAME story. I have three younger sisters, so four of us, there are the two "bigs" and the two "littles". "The bigs" had all of the books and we poured over the Pleasant Company magazine. We're talking HOURS of flipping through the pages and dreaming of getting our dream dolls for Christmas or a birthday. My parents did not have the money to afford hundred dollar dolls. But that didn't stop us from examining every present under the tree and trying to determine if this might be our year. At some point my dream died and the doll never arrived (I wanted Felicity and my sister wanted Samantha).

By the time I was in high school, the family financial circumstances had changed a bit. And one year for Christmas, "the littles", who had never read the books, never earmarked pages in the Pleasant Company magazines, each got an American Girl doll. "The bigs" were devastated and we still give my parents a hard time about it every so often.

Expand full comment
founding

It was family tradition that when you started kindergarten, my grandma would buy you the American Girl Doll baby doll and bassinet for Christmas. Once you learned how to read completely on your own, she got us an American Girl Doll of our choosing for Christmas. Everyone tried to pressure me to get Kirsten, because I looked like her the most, but I rebelled and got Felicity because we lived near Colonial Williamsburg and I was obsessed with that time period.

I had the books, a few outfits, the pet lamb, and her guitar that actually played! My great-grandma handmade me a dress and bonnet to match Felicity and I still have it in my closet today. Poor Felicity sits in a box with my other sentimental toys in my parent's attic. I don't know what to do with her as I don't have/want kids but can't seem to part with her.

Expand full comment
founding

I wanted to add - while I liked the American Girl Doll books a lot I was way more into the "Dear America" books as a kid. Did anyone else read these? I was completely obsessed!

Expand full comment
author

I think I read a few but they don't loom as large!

Expand full comment
founding

I remember those Dear America books! I read a lot of those, as well as all the American Girl books. Were you also an Ann Rinaldi fan? I remember reading a lot of her historical fiction books.

Expand full comment
founding

No I never read her books. Now I feel like I missed out!

Expand full comment
founding

Some of those Dear America books freaked me the fuck out! But yes, I did read them.

Expand full comment
founding

Some of them made me upset for sure. As an adult, I'm really grateful that I had access to these books written from the perspective of Native American, Black, and immigrant girls. Especially as someone who grew up in the rural south.

Expand full comment
founding

I agree - they were powerful stories that need to be told. I should've expanded a bit on my initial comment - as a sensitive kid I was drawn into these detailed books and had a hard time shutting down my brain when I needed to go to sleep and go to school the next day. It's something I still struggle with. It's to their credit that they did not shy away from the realities of life in the time period being written about.

Expand full comment

I'm so glad to hear all the favorable thoughts of American Girl magazine. My father worked for the State Department so we lived overseas 1991-1998 when I was ages 6-13. I had a Molly doll and read some of the Molly books but most of my fondest memories associated with this company are from my subscription to American Girl magazine, I devoured that thing. I wonder if it was me trying to learn how to be an actual American Girl while growing up in a foreign country? I remember some of my friends had subscriptions instead to teen fashion/gossip magazines and they always seemed so weird to me. Bring me my AG magazine with short stories and craft projects!

Expand full comment
founding
Mar 29·edited Mar 29

OH MY GOODNESS, I was at that Felicity launch party in Williamsburg! With my mom, grandma, and aunt when I was 8 years old or so. I have such strong memories of that trip and the tea party and the lessons about how to place your spoon to indicate you will take no tea. Now I have to spend the next half hour trying to find myself in that video.

My 6yo daughter has inherited my three dolls (Kirsten the OG, Felicity, and Addy), along with my friend's Kirsten, Samantha, and Molly, since my friend and her mom wanted them to go to someone who would appreciate them. She also has a Wellie Wisher. She's living all of our early 90s dreams, but luckily for all of us she is a doll kid!

Expand full comment