Although I guess we can't be surprised by the hate mail, I am also very annoyed that you're having to deal with it as you finish this huge accomplishment that just deserves to be celebrated! I want you to know that you have given me SO much strength as a dietitian in changing the way I work, and even moreso in the past few days as I'm seeing how you are responding to critics has been so powerful too. You're a role model to so many of us and an have been one of my greatest teachers. Just yesterday I was teaching a kids class and a dad approached me after and told me that I was literally *doing harm* by not teaching kids to avoid snacks with high fructose corn syrup, and the way you've been responding to criticism (particularly your eating pizza Instagram, lol) popped into my mind and helped me to not back down... because I know that teaching kids to feel shame about eating any kind of food is *really* what's harmful. I guess what I am trying to say in my rambling here is that you're not only teaching me how to do this work, you're ALSO modeling how to stand up for it, and that's just as important.
I subscribed this week after reading “What If You Weren’t Scared of Your Kid Being Fat?” in thecut, which prompted me to contact my daughter (she’s in her 20s) and apologize for not being a better advocate at the pediatrician when she was little. They started making noise about her weight when she was 8 or 9 and I wish I could go back in time and tell them to shut up. There’s this idea that nothing is worse than a kid who’s “off the chart” and it must mean you’re not parenting right. It makes me so sad and mad and my daughter has struggled because of it for years. I could go on and on, but I’ll suffice to say I’m so grateful for your work and I’m so glad there is a shift happening in our societal attitudes towards fatness/body image/health and a recognition of how toxic and truly unhealthy diet culture is. Thank you!
This is so lovely; I wanted to reply to you to say that I can only imagine would a profound impact you telling your daughter that had on her! The thing that is the most precious to me these days is doing repair work and witnessing others do it, too, no matter how much time has passed. Such a gift for everyone involved.
My mom passed away just under a year ago and I just lost my mother-in-law last month, and parents and how they can show up for their kids throughout their lives is very much on my mind. So thank you for sharing this lovely act of parenting ❤️
Virginia! I was so excited to receive my copy of Fat Talk yesterday, and now I'm thinking of buying a copy each for my mom, mother-in-law, and step-mom for Mother's Day. Is that too passive aggressive for all the comments they've made about my body (and my children's bodies, ugh), or just passive aggressive enough?!
So happy to support you and your work and anti-diet journalism at large.
The library has my copy ready for pickup and I'm impatiently waiting for them to open! Also, indulgence gospel is fantastic, but I love the implication that you now have fame and fortune. Rollin' in dough now, sponsored by big sugar? 😂
OMG, I love this so much. Time for re-branding?!! Hearing you on Fresh Air and the mere existence of this conversation in our world gives me hope! Haters gonna hate and I'm sorry you have to deal with that mess. I expect my copy of your book to arrive today, and can't wait. I am deeply grateful for you, high-priestess ;)
So proud and excited for you watching you everywhere as you should be and as your work should be. It’s really something Virginia. I know how rough the trolling is, deep breaths for you, but also, pretty gorgeous watching you unbothered. xx
Apr 28, 2023Liked by Corinne Fay, Virginia Sole-Smith
I want to say this community has quickly become important to me, and it has, sort of. but saying that "it happened quickly" isn't reflective of how slow I've actually been to take some important things in (I've been reading this newsletter for a couple of years now lol). more than that, it glosses over the thoughtful and deliberate work that Virginia and Corinne have done in building this space.
thank you both for all that you've done. I'm sorry the haters are out in force and I'm grateful for your work.
Apr 28, 2023·edited Apr 28, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith
I would very much like Indulgence Gospel merch. Hoodies, please?
I really needed this space this morning. Earlier this week one of my longtime friends reached out on IG via private message and asked me some questions about my journey into an anti-diet space after watching a lot of what I post about. He is someone I've witnessed over the many years that I've known him to be thoughtful and to have discussions in good faith, so even when we don't agree on everything I know that I am engaging with a person I can trust.
So I waded gently into the questions and offered to share other resources should he decide to dive deeper. All good, very respectful. (He's a self-described recovering Republican; I think like many lifelong Republicans the MAGA wing overtaking caused him to question a lot of his core beliefs, and challenge his worldview, so I appreciated that he was willing to thoughtfully engage on this topic.)
Yesterday he points me to a Twitter thread and says "Not sure if you'd want to wade in on this one." Took one look and said "HARD PASS." It was someone excoriating Virginia's Fresh Air interview, and the rant included that we should "defund NPR." Sometimes trolly humans masquerade as thoughtful people, but this one was clear that there was 100% no point in debating and that I'd just end up angry and probably the target of various abusive crap. So I told my friend "Nope, I was already weaning myself off Twitter before Elon took over, and I'm done with arguing with strangers on the Internet!"
I also told my friend that though I haven't yet read Fat Talk, I have read lots of Virginia's work and that I would trust it to be well-researched and well-sourced. (Gently hinting "hey, go read the book and draw your own conclusions" vs. taking some Twitter bro's opinion).
It's so discouraging when the discussion goes that direction. It sounds like you did both an amazing job sharing info and resources AND an amazing job setting boundaries to protect yourself.
Yes! Keep preaching the Indulgence Gospel! I'm eating foods I love again and buying clothes that feel good on my body. And it's liberating! Your community has made me a convert :) Thanks so much for your work!
All those haters, oh my gosh, imagine the insides of their minds. So rigid and angry and brokenhearted, and so quick to take it out on anyone but themselves.
I know that's cold comfort, but it's something. I hope they quiet down.
I would definitely like a high priestess indulgence gospel shirt. Fat Talk is making the waves is was meant to make and I love it. Well done!!! Off to Amazon to review and troll hunt…
I want that t- shirt! Here for indulgence gospel- soo good! But of course sorry and not surprised at the hate mail. I guess it shows just what a deep nerve your work is hitting. Your work has helped me become a better ally and parent - especially in de-moralizing food and fat in general and also letting go some latent orthorexia tendencies. Thank you!
Virginia,
Although I guess we can't be surprised by the hate mail, I am also very annoyed that you're having to deal with it as you finish this huge accomplishment that just deserves to be celebrated! I want you to know that you have given me SO much strength as a dietitian in changing the way I work, and even moreso in the past few days as I'm seeing how you are responding to critics has been so powerful too. You're a role model to so many of us and an have been one of my greatest teachers. Just yesterday I was teaching a kids class and a dad approached me after and told me that I was literally *doing harm* by not teaching kids to avoid snacks with high fructose corn syrup, and the way you've been responding to criticism (particularly your eating pizza Instagram, lol) popped into my mind and helped me to not back down... because I know that teaching kids to feel shame about eating any kind of food is *really* what's harmful. I guess what I am trying to say in my rambling here is that you're not only teaching me how to do this work, you're ALSO modeling how to stand up for it, and that's just as important.
Brittany. This is so lovely. Thank you.
Thanks for all your work, Brittany! Dietitians are so important!
I subscribed this week after reading “What If You Weren’t Scared of Your Kid Being Fat?” in thecut, which prompted me to contact my daughter (she’s in her 20s) and apologize for not being a better advocate at the pediatrician when she was little. They started making noise about her weight when she was 8 or 9 and I wish I could go back in time and tell them to shut up. There’s this idea that nothing is worse than a kid who’s “off the chart” and it must mean you’re not parenting right. It makes me so sad and mad and my daughter has struggled because of it for years. I could go on and on, but I’ll suffice to say I’m so grateful for your work and I’m so glad there is a shift happening in our societal attitudes towards fatness/body image/health and a recognition of how toxic and truly unhealthy diet culture is. Thank you!
So glad you're here, Janelle!
This is so lovely; I wanted to reply to you to say that I can only imagine would a profound impact you telling your daughter that had on her! The thing that is the most precious to me these days is doing repair work and witnessing others do it, too, no matter how much time has passed. Such a gift for everyone involved.
My mom passed away just under a year ago and I just lost my mother-in-law last month, and parents and how they can show up for their kids throughout their lives is very much on my mind. So thank you for sharing this lovely act of parenting ❤️
Thank you ❤️
Virginia! I was so excited to receive my copy of Fat Talk yesterday, and now I'm thinking of buying a copy each for my mom, mother-in-law, and step-mom for Mother's Day. Is that too passive aggressive for all the comments they've made about my body (and my children's bodies, ugh), or just passive aggressive enough?!
So happy to support you and your work and anti-diet journalism at large.
I LOVE this as a mother's day gift!!
The library has my copy ready for pickup and I'm impatiently waiting for them to open! Also, indulgence gospel is fantastic, but I love the implication that you now have fame and fortune. Rollin' in dough now, sponsored by big sugar? 😂
LOLOLOL
Virginia! INDULGENCE GOSPEL T-SHIRTS. YES.
This may happen!?
OMG, I love this so much. Time for re-branding?!! Hearing you on Fresh Air and the mere existence of this conversation in our world gives me hope! Haters gonna hate and I'm sorry you have to deal with that mess. I expect my copy of your book to arrive today, and can't wait. I am deeply grateful for you, high-priestess ;)
I feel like high priestess is right up there with Elder :)
no question!
So proud and excited for you watching you everywhere as you should be and as your work should be. It’s really something Virginia. I know how rough the trolling is, deep breaths for you, but also, pretty gorgeous watching you unbothered. xx
Thank you Holly!!
I want to say this community has quickly become important to me, and it has, sort of. but saying that "it happened quickly" isn't reflective of how slow I've actually been to take some important things in (I've been reading this newsletter for a couple of years now lol). more than that, it glosses over the thoughtful and deliberate work that Virginia and Corinne have done in building this space.
thank you both for all that you've done. I'm sorry the haters are out in force and I'm grateful for your work.
welcome, new folks!
This means so much, thank you.
I would very much like Indulgence Gospel merch. Hoodies, please?
I really needed this space this morning. Earlier this week one of my longtime friends reached out on IG via private message and asked me some questions about my journey into an anti-diet space after watching a lot of what I post about. He is someone I've witnessed over the many years that I've known him to be thoughtful and to have discussions in good faith, so even when we don't agree on everything I know that I am engaging with a person I can trust.
So I waded gently into the questions and offered to share other resources should he decide to dive deeper. All good, very respectful. (He's a self-described recovering Republican; I think like many lifelong Republicans the MAGA wing overtaking caused him to question a lot of his core beliefs, and challenge his worldview, so I appreciated that he was willing to thoughtfully engage on this topic.)
Yesterday he points me to a Twitter thread and says "Not sure if you'd want to wade in on this one." Took one look and said "HARD PASS." It was someone excoriating Virginia's Fresh Air interview, and the rant included that we should "defund NPR." Sometimes trolly humans masquerade as thoughtful people, but this one was clear that there was 100% no point in debating and that I'd just end up angry and probably the target of various abusive crap. So I told my friend "Nope, I was already weaning myself off Twitter before Elon took over, and I'm done with arguing with strangers on the Internet!"
I also told my friend that though I haven't yet read Fat Talk, I have read lots of Virginia's work and that I would trust it to be well-researched and well-sourced. (Gently hinting "hey, go read the book and draw your own conclusions" vs. taking some Twitter bro's opinion).
It's so discouraging when the discussion goes that direction. It sounds like you did both an amazing job sharing info and resources AND an amazing job setting boundaries to protect yourself.
Yes! Keep preaching the Indulgence Gospel! I'm eating foods I love again and buying clothes that feel good on my body. And it's liberating! Your community has made me a convert :) Thanks so much for your work!
All those haters, oh my gosh, imagine the insides of their minds. So rigid and angry and brokenhearted, and so quick to take it out on anyone but themselves.
I know that's cold comfort, but it's something. I hope they quiet down.
You're doing crucial, painful, important, paradigm-shifting work. I really appreciate you.
I would definitely like a high priestess indulgence gospel shirt. Fat Talk is making the waves is was meant to make and I love it. Well done!!! Off to Amazon to review and troll hunt…
Thank you for the Amazon love!!
I want that t- shirt! Here for indulgence gospel- soo good! But of course sorry and not surprised at the hate mail. I guess it shows just what a deep nerve your work is hitting. Your work has helped me become a better ally and parent - especially in de-moralizing food and fat in general and also letting go some latent orthorexia tendencies. Thank you!
If indulgence culture is the opposite of creating eating disorders in our children, sign me up.
I'm just so thrilled that everyone is getting to know your amazing, life changing work this week! Welcome new folks!
Yay!
Congratulations Virginia! You’ve built something so incredibly important and it’s wonderful that so many people will now be learning from you ❤️
Thank you Katy!