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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I am currently reading CRYING IN H MART, a memoir about a woman caring for her Korean mom who has cancer. This came right after A LIVING REMEDY, also a memoir from the perspective of a woman whose mom who has cancer). What can I say, I am doing lots of elder care lately and these books are helping me somehow? I also recommend ALL THIRTEEN, a young adult narrative nonfiction book about the incredible rescue of the Thai soccer team a few years ago. It was a great read and I learned so much I didn’t know about Thai culture and even the geology of caves.

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I bought that book a few months before my mom was diagnosed with cancer, so it remains on my to be read shelf. She is thankfully fine now (kidney cancer be damned!) but I don’t know if and when I’ll be ready.

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I've been wanting to read Crying in H Mart for ages!

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I read Crying in H Mart on audiobook last year and I loved it. So so good.

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Crying in H Mart was a fave of mine, too💗

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Crying in H Mart was my book for February! Soo good!

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I have been devouring these stupid books. The writing is so god-awful, yet I can’t stop. It’s not even a hate read.. I don’t know how to describe it.

It is nice to be in on this cultural moment…

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

If you haven’t already, you should do her other 2 series :) Throne of Glass then Crescent City! Do it in that order because Crescent City has references to ToG and ACOTAR

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I wish I could get into Throne of Glass, but it was kind of a let down after ACOTAR.

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OK it's been months since you left this comment, Kelly, but goddddddd these books read like they were written by a 3rd grader 😆 Am I still on the 6th book? Yes.

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YESSSS. I never made it past the first. It was so bad.

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100% my same experience! Not quite a hate read, fully enjoying it, fully acknowledging ... kinda bad!

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The writing is so awful, someone told me the story got better as you got into the later books and I think it does, but it's still not worth reading in my opinion. I made it through the 4th book, and book 1 of Throne of Glass before deciding that this author and I were not meant to be, in spite of friends recommendations. I probably would have gobbled them up as a teenager though.

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I finished it last month, but for snarky academia, I adored Julie Schumacher's DEAR COMMITTEE MEMBERS. It's a book full of made up letters of recommendation a creative writing professor wrote and it's hilarious.

The WashPo article...ugh. I follow Cara Harbstreet on Instagram and had noticed a lot more sponsored content lately which frustrated me. I felt like she has been pushing people to eat XYZ. It felt like the anti-diet version of Oatzempic. Like isn't the idea of anti-diet we can eat whatever feels good and nourishes us and not promote one food (or brand) over another?

The thing that really got me about the article was Christy Harrison walking back her statement on health concerns related to weight. Harrison has always seemed a bit "militant" to me in her anti-diet approach but as time as gone on and I've gotten fatter, her and Regan Chastain's work have been things I've come back to as "It's okay to be fat. Your body is not going to fall apart just because of that." To hear she wanted to walk back that claim was devastating.

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Apr 5·edited Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I admire that you read the whole thing!! I stopped about four grafs in; the entire framing felt insultingly illiterate about weight science, weight loss history, and fat activism. I also judged the reporter/s harshly, maybe unfairly, for touting their “research”: we read 30! Instagram accounts and ANALYZED their WORDS!!!! I found that to be trivial and self-serious and self-satisfied and naive reporting, and I stopped reading. It sucks for me to dunk on reporters. It’s a hard, hard job, and extremely easy to dunk on. When the work causes harm because it’s trivial and superficial, though…

WaPo’s had viciously anti-fat reporting for a while, as far as I can tell—all the weight loss industry jargon presented as grounding fact and fat people presented as naturally miserable and on the brink of terminal despair or illness. This was right in line.

I also wonder what their newsroom looks like right now, after layoffs and a change in editorial leadership last year. Who’s shaping the culture over there?

And—to close out this rant—influencer/brand collab culture is the WORST. Grump grump grump!!

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This is such a sharp and nuanced summary! Thank you!!

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I've heard Christy Harrison say similar things on her new podcast about wishing she'd used "more nuanced language" in Anti-Diet. I'm curious what she means by that, which parts exactly? I wish she'd speak more openly about it.

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Honestly…anytime recently I’ve watched someone shift to “nuanced” and “moderate”…it’s never ended “well” as far as not swinging to the opposite (while still claiming to be the most moderate.). I don’t know if she will, but I’ve seen several acquaintances and public figures go down this path…and my spider senses told me to get out now as far as her podcast

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Same! I was thinking about writing in to ask her about that yesterday! (But I haven't, and probably won't, as I'm not a paid subscriber of hers these days.)

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Oh fuck, I had no idea about Christy Harrison, though I have been very frustrated that her pivot to talking about wellness has included a lot of people very invested in anti-fatness. I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and am really gutted to hear she might agree with those guests.

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Yeah I recently unsubscribed from her new podcast after getting a weird feeling over the last few months…

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I recently read Schumacher's THE ENGLISH EXPERIENCE and both enjoyed it but also was like 'do I really need to read bad student writing in my free time too?'

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So I haven’t read the article, but this week I actually unsubscribed to all of Harrison’s podcasts/newsletters as I just had this feeling that she was…I don’t know…shifting in ways I didn’t want to sit around and watch? Honestly…anytime recently I’ve watched someone shift to “nuanced” and “moderate”…it’s never ended “well” as far as not swinging to the opposite (while still claiming to be the most moderate.). I don’t know if she will, but I’ve seen several acquaintances and public figures go down this path…and my spider senses told me to get out now.

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Just devoured I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS FOR YOU by Rebecca Malakai. Loved The Great Believers and loved this even more. I think it’s been marketed for true crime heads but that is so not my jam and I still couldn’t put it down!

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

It’s like gimlet-eyed, big-hearted social commentary, big cast domestic drama, psychological character study, AND crime novel all marbled together!

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Perfect timing because I just finished THE GREAT BELIEVERS and have been wondering about her other books! Anything else in a similar vein you’d recommend? I loved the flip between time points and characters of BELIEVERS.

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

For the Wash Post article - as I read this, I knew logically that this was meant to be a scare tactic toward “anti-diet” and people who follow intuitive eating, but my ED brain made me take it to my therapist and tell her I think she has been lying to me for years and it’s all bull and I have been doing everything wrong and messing up my body!! This article messed me up and made me think things that I thought I was fully recovered from.

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I feel you on this. I also found it dangerous to me. I’m sorry you had that experience and I hope some equilibrium returned.

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Apr 5·edited Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Luckily I have a really great therapist who is used to this type of backlash from her patients and she was able to calmly talk me out of my spiral, but it is still a running narrative going through my head and I was convinced it never would be again! You are 100% right! This article was dangerous

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I wish I’d taken your warning more seriously…that’s an insidious piece of writing.

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I'm currently reading CHAIN-GANG ALL-STARS (Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah) and whew it's a wonderful and pointed dystopian satire.

Recently read THE BIRTH OF THE PILL (Jonathan Eig) a history of the birth control pill.

BITCH: ON THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES (Lucy Cooke) is a super fun and interesting look at biology and the way that the patriarchy has contributed to all kinds of bad science about female animals, with a healthy dose of her dry British wit throughout).

EXIT INTERVIEW (Kristi Coulter) is maddening and relatable about the experience of being a woman (specifically a GenX woman) in corporate America.

And in fiction, I really enjoyed THIS DISASTER LOVES YOU (Richard Roper), ON THE PLUS SIDE (Jenny Howe), and ONE ITALIAN SUMMER (Rebecca Serle).

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Also, SO GLAD you're tackling that hot mess of an article from The Washington Post. I read that and just had so many feels (most of them arrrrrrrgh, stop!!!)

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I am currently reading Chain-Gang All-Stars and I am ashamed to say I might not finish it. It is SO GOOD and truly an incredible work, but I am a baby and it physically hurts to read some times. Which is one of the points of the book! It's not supposed to be fun! I'm gonna try and muscle through it, but I can already tell the end will ruin me.

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EXIT INTERVIEW was so good. I read that one in like 3 days.

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Bitch is so good!!!

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I loved both ON THE PLUS SIDE (Jenny Howe) and ONE ITALIAN SUMMER (Rebecca Serle)

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I just finished NK Jemison's The Broken Earth trilogy and I am not the same person. It's fantasy, the magic system is mind bendingly creative. It's got deeply unconventional narration. People describe it as "inaccessible" to people who aren't into fantasy. But I don't think it's true. The main protagonist is a 42 year old woman with kids trying to survive the apocalypse, and you know? If anyone can save the world? She can. Jemison writes about life experience and emotion so bluntly and so realistically, with emotions as things you don't feel til they almost overwhelm you. I truly can't stop recommending it to people!

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I just read Happiness Falls and loved it. I am currently in between books. My holds list at the library is long but with long waits.

I have THOUGHTS about the WaPo article. First of all, I think the biggest complaint about the anti-diet dieticians on IG (I don’t have TikTok, but I think they overlap their content) is that they are mostly thin white women and very few of them acknowledge that. The article also mischaracterizes intuitive eating basically saying it’s “just eat whatever” when it’s more nuanced than that. They’ve also really cherry-picked the creators they talk about. I follow Colleen and she’s not advocating for eating ice cream all the time. And for the purposes of this article protein shakes and Kodiak pancakes are bad? I mean, the article even tells on itself here: “The downside from a health perspective is exacerbating their obesity and potentially making worse their risk for other nutrition-related diseases.” Potentially. So also potentially not making their risk worse.

Thank you, I hate it.

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This last sentence reminds me of the time I read a click-bait article about what foods cancer doctors themselves won’t eat or something dumb and my curiosity was rewarded with a ton of anti-fat and fatphobic tropes and the line that “7% of cancers could be linked to weight” and all of a sudden I realized that also was saying “93% were not linked” 93!!

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I'm trying to gently re-approach reading for pleasure after an intense English degree where I had to read 50-100 texts a term, continuously analysing them and turning them into essay content. Every time I start trying to read, even the pulpiest book, my brain goes into anxious overdrive and I can't fully engage. It's like trying to coax a hypersensitive puppy through a walk. I wondered if anyone's had a similar experience/has tips!

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I think it will come back and it’s okay to put reading down for a bit!

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I had a similar experience after getting my master’s in speech pathology. I was used to reading journal articles with a highlighter in my hand and didn’t have the time or brain space to read.

I hyper fixated on reading before I was diagnosed with ADHD and read 63 books in 2019. I honestly felt like I burned myself out on reading after I became hyper fixated on something else. It felt bad no longer identifying as “a reader.” Not tracking things on Goodreads anymore was helpful. Good books will always be there if you choose to read them!

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Ah thanks Grace! It makes so much sense that you felt like that-- it seems like all burned out readers feel a bit sad about losing it from our identities

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Not exactly the same experience, but during college I was around a lot of people (both English majors and not) who were voracious readers and read at a speed that I couldn’t keep up with. It messed with my identity as a big reader and the stress of trying to read more and faster made it impossible to focus on any text anymore. Plus I have depression and an anxiety disorder so my brain is a non-stop spiral machine. I stopped reading for pleasure for almost two years and thought I wasn’t a reader anymore. Over time letting go of the pressure and easing back in via audiobooks helped me get back into it in a way that has become joyful once again. All of that is to say it is 100% okay to not read for a while (or forever) and a break may help reframe your relationship to/experience of reading. But it freaking sucks to feel like a hypersensitive pup ❤️

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this is such a nice comment, thanks for sharing your experience <3 it's good to hear from someone else who also needed a big long break. I'm glad you've found ways back in to that part of your identity

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But seriously, congrats on the English degree!

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thanks Becky! I feel like it's sapped all my reading power, but hopefully not forever

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Is writing part of yr life outside school? Do you feel any inklings or whispers to do more? Some recovering academics in my life have found a lot of joy/renewal/fun in their reading through generative writing (like AWA or Meditative Writing or Gateless, if any of those are familiar).

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I haven't heard of those! really like the sound of creative writing that isn't tied to achievement or pressure

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I was an English major (did not finish my degree) and barely picked up a book for ten years after leaving. Rereading comfort books (especially something easier like YA or middle grade) was somewhat helpful but I also lean heavily on audiobooks now, and I wish I hadn't waited so long to try them (I also have ADHD and listen at a slightly faster than normal speed, which may or may not be helpful for you).

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Thanks for this advice! And fwiw, you have the most literary name I've ever met!

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Thank you! But fwiw, it's technically a pen name! I didn't change much, but it feels more like me this way.

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I suggest you read some young adult or middle grade fiction as a reentry point. Recent favorites are ALL THIRTEEN (so suspenseful and interesting!) and WHEN YOU REACH ME, an homage to A Wrinkle in Time that I thought was amazing.

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Thanks Jean! Looking these up now

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I mean, this is partly why I watch so much tv😂

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Apr 5·edited Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Robot vacuums- I am a low consumer for a variety of reasons, and we just bought a second (off brand that is modular for easy replacement of parts) one for the basement. I love it for every reason she mentions. Especially with a dog and kids. It’s not perfect- but it’s better than the job my 9 year old does at sweeping by 300%.

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I love mine too -- I run it every day actually, because I have pretty bad allergies, and it helps SO MUCH. I'm so glad to know they are worth buying secondhand -- I get nervous purchasing technology type things that way, but I'm so in love with mine, I'd love another one to do a part of our upstairs I never get to otherwise!

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Ours is daily, too! Ours have both been new, but they would be so easy to clean well inside if bought used…if the price is right I think it’s definitely a good option!

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We just bought a "downstairs Milton" as we call it (both of our robot vacuums are named Milton for reasons too convoluted to get into) because my wife is very allergic to our two cats, and their main hang out is in our basement which is also where our TV is. I felt kind of nutty about having two of these devices but it has definitely paid returns so far - my wife is less miserable and TBQH I was shocked and horrified by how much "material" DM picked up in its first several runs. I think of our household as pretty tidy, but the robot vac can truly get to areas that are impossible to reach with our regular vacuum unless we moved furniture (not happening, let's be real). Both of our Miltons run most days and I'm really glad we have them. I waited for sales and bought when they (some Eufy brand model) were available for about $120ish.

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We have Eufy, too, now! :D

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

We bought a roomba at black friday because it was a true black friday sale. we started programming it to run on Wednesday mornings. It also makes me get crap off the floor like socks, blankets and other junk that Mr. Roombastic would have issues with.

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Yes! And ALL THE LEGOs are picked up by the kids in fear of them disappearing into it!

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Mr. Roombastic is THE BEST NAME for Roomba! I’m stealing it immediately lol

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HAMNET by Maggie O’Farrell was a beautiful book! I’m planning to go back and read her earlier work now too if anyone has a suggestion.

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I have not read earlier, but THE MARRIAGE PORTRAIT is beautiful, if a little tough to read at times (like Hamnet)

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I loved HAMNET! Agreed on THE MARRIAGE PORTRAIT recommendation. I also liked THIS MUST BE THE PLACE and THE VANISHING ACT OF ESME LENNOX. I did not really like her memoir, I AM, I AM, I AM, which kind of surprised me.

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Also not a fan of her memoir, too damn stressful!

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Thanks for all the titles!

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Hamnet is such a beautiful book, and I read it in some earlier part of the pandemic and it was really meaningful to me. And if you like her writing, her memoir, I Am I Am I Am, is really wonderful.

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Even after all this time and so many books, I still think I love Maggie O'Farrell's first book, AFTER YOU'D GONE, the best. I thought ESME LENNOX was devastating and also not a book that I ever want to read again!

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Her memoir/essay collection, I AM I AM I AM is one of my all-time favorites! I also really enjoyed THIS MUST BE THE PLACE

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The WaPo piece- I have thoughts….

First of all, I want to name my own bias as a self-described anti-diet dietitian and Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. You can probably suspect just from those 2 pieces of info about me what I thought of the article. But I’ll continue.

I didn’t feel the need to read beyond the heading and subheading because whoa boy was that a mouthful of hot garbage right there in those 2 lines! They threw all of the buzzwords together to make a complete shitstorm: “O*esity rates rising!” “Big Food!” “Anti-diet dietitians ‘push’ xyz and promote junk food and discourage weight loss!” Ridiculous. Then the opening photo shows a person sliding into a bowlful of oversized plushie Cheerios next to a 2-story replica of a Cheerios box front with some stats about child hunger and the implication that Cheerios/General Mills is going to be part of the solution. Lots to unpack just right there but for the sake of brevity I’ll leave those for another day.

I did in fact keep reading while fuming and stopping to say, “What the actual fuck?!?” Several times. The article opens with a narrative about a woman who gained weight after attempting what she thought was intuitive eating after watching some videos on social media and is now obviously concerned for her health. (No mention of working with a therapist or dietitian, just that she “took the advice of influencers.”) The weight=health correlation is assumed throughout the rest of the piece without even a hint of challenge.

I won’t dissect every inch of the rest of the article but it goes on to bafflingly weave Big Food, influencer RDs, anti-diet rhetoric, and the unsupported notion that processed foods are directly responsible for the rise in chronic health conditions. This article makes so many assumptions about its readers already agreeing with its underlying premises that it’s embarrassing. Probably the most insulting part was the few paragraphs paying lip service to HAES and IE and how their messaging has been co-opted by industries trying to profit off of them (yes!). Then they quickly revert back to the aforementioned woman’s story who claims that she was indoctrinated with anti-diet messaging and why it was harmful to her. Of course it closes reinforcing its true agenda: using a quote from an RD who claims he worked with so many clients who have gained an unacceptable amount of weight because of IE, and he believes that has exacerbated their risk of developing chronic health conditions.

I do think the RD influencer/food sponsorship piece is messy and absolutely is contributing to confusion surrounding our field and endorsements. It would have been nice if the article had mentioned that one of the main reasons RDs accept brand deals is that we get paid shit compared to other allied health professionals, and we have to supplement our paltry earnings from clinical, foodservice, public health, or private practice work. I will say that it’s no secret that our field is quite fractured at the moment and is dealing with some pretty heavy issues: namely, the historic and continuing lack of diversity; our role in upholding white supremacy and racism; the deepening divide between weight-centric and weight-inclusive dietitians (and those who are fence-straddling between the two groups); lack of respect from the healthcare industry generally; gatekeeping and exclusionary practices making a master’s degree a requirement but doing little to advocate for increased pay or increased access of our services to the public. I could go on and on. This article is blatantly trying to discredit RDs and pile-on criticism of our already broken field. We obviously have our issues, but this article is only reinforcing deeply-held biases and beliefs about weight, food and health and is offering nothing substantial to counteract them. Total lack of nuance.

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Fellow RD here and I really appreciate you taking the time to really dive in here. Couldn't agree more with your assessment of the state of being a RD right now- it's a mess.

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I definitely understand your "if you push too hard, I won't go" attitude about ACOTAR! When you work in books (as I did for YEARS, as a bookseller and librarian), there is a lot of wariness towards books that EVERYONE is talking about. FWIW, I read ACOTAR years ago, before it became THIS, and it's great for what it is, which is a very sexy couple of books about fae. They're fun. They're not life-changing. Revel in the JOMO!

I'm reading a hard book right now: CONFLICT IS NOT ABUSE by Sarah Schulman. I definitely don't agree with all of her arguments, but it's hard not to agree with her base premise, which is that we are mixed up, on the whole, about what constitutes abuse, which leads to unjust punitive measures (socially) that don't make a lot of sense.

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Yes that Sarah Schulman book really made me think...it was not as good as I hoped it would be. In some places I thought her tendency to over-personalize her points really weakened the book. But I am glad I read it nevertheless. She made some provacative and strong points.

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For awesome romances with fat women leads, I love Olivia Dade’s books.

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LOVE Olivia Dade. She's one of the few romance authors out there writing truly sparkling witty banter!

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FOURTH WING!!! No fat representation at all but there is a heroine who is kick-ass WITH a chronic illness that compromises her body. Dragons, spicy love, relatable characters, amazing world building. Also the second, Iron Flame. The third (I think of five?) comes out January 2025. SERIOUSLY SO GOOD.

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I loved FOURTH WING & IRON FLAME ten times more than the ACOTAR series. So good! I devoured them, annnnd got a ton of folks who are definitely not fantasy readers hooked on them.

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SAME!!

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Yes! Currently reading ACOTAR for the first time and am enjoying it but also constantly thinking about how much more I love FOURTH WING

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Apr 5·edited Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

With ACOTAR - I started this series in 2021 when I was recovering from my ED and I didn’t see it from your perspective because what I saw was underfed, undernourished, women in poverty who then started eating and saw their bodies change and fill out. They were happy about the changes and that was a novel idea to me! So yes, I 100% agree that there is no fat representation and it is all about fit fae banging each other, BUT they are fit because they are warriors so maybe that’s better? If you’re adamant against this one, maybe try her first series which I personally love more, Throne of Glass. Less focus on skinny fae banging. She was 19 when she wrote the first book so if you start it, read it from that perspective knowing THE WRITING GETS SO MUCH BETTER!

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Oh I love knowing it was helpful to you in that way!!

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Agree with this. While there is no fat rep, there's also not any fatphobia in the books, which I appreciate! Mentions of weight are always in regards to lost weight because of bad circumstances, or gained weight due to improved health and happiness.

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That is so cool for you to share about when you read the ACOTAR series. I am currently reading it and recovering from an ED. I had a similar reaction to the undernourished and their bodies filling out and it being a positive thing for them to see their nourished bodies. I’m new to the fantasy genre so it has been interesting for me. I’m normally like a psychological thriller / horror reader who dabbles in the historical fiction and super sad memoir genres for a break from the scary. 😂 my hubby laughs at my reading selections, but he knows my reading serves the purpose of helping me through tough times. I have to say I have enjoyed ACOTAR as a nice escape from all the stress going on. Fluff reading is what my therapist calls it, and it is fully embraced over here. I hope everyone can find reads that can do that for them and make them happy, no matter the genre.

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Apr 5Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Congrats on recovery and I’m so happy you found an outlet! I found “fluff” reading during this time and basically never looked back haha

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