This essay was so moving. My experience as a parent has also not been what I expected and my body as a parent is not what I have wanted. My oldest child is a talented marvel of a human who, as a younger child, needed me to be physically and mentally "on" all the time. As a teenager they struggle with mental illness and addiction. We had 4 psychiatric stays in 12 months, 10+ ER trips for alcohol poisoning, days and days where we didn't know his whereabouts, multiple rounds of residential treatment and incarceration. Because of genetics and chronic stress/trauma, my body has held on to more and more pounds over the years. And I'm trying to be okay with that.
Whew, this was timely for me. I was just talking to a friend this morning about my Feelings after discovering that several pairs of jeans - which I bought less than a year ago - no longer fit. The last year has been brutal, and yet I somehow think it should have had no effect on my body? Apparently. I am doing so much unlearning these days.
I cried reading this. My second was born in January. My younger brother is getting married in November and I can't figure out why I can't find the motivation to lose the last 5 pounds before the wedding. I put all of this blame on myself without acknowledging that in the last 8 months: I had a baby, survived the infant stage, had a toddler go through a MAJOR surgery, am in the thick of getting said toddler through required rehab, had a parent diagnosed with a degenerative disease, worked and parented through a pandemic, etc., etc. If I were my own best friend, I'd bring me a plate of chocolate croissants and tell me to just order the bridesmaids dress in the next size up. Thank you so much for sharing this experience and opening my eyes to the reality of my own experience (as opposed to the false story I tell myself).
This essay was so moving. My experience as a parent has also not been what I expected and my body as a parent is not what I have wanted. My oldest child is a talented marvel of a human who, as a younger child, needed me to be physically and mentally "on" all the time. As a teenager they struggle with mental illness and addiction. We had 4 psychiatric stays in 12 months, 10+ ER trips for alcohol poisoning, days and days where we didn't know his whereabouts, multiple rounds of residential treatment and incarceration. Because of genetics and chronic stress/trauma, my body has held on to more and more pounds over the years. And I'm trying to be okay with that.
Whew, this was timely for me. I was just talking to a friend this morning about my Feelings after discovering that several pairs of jeans - which I bought less than a year ago - no longer fit. The last year has been brutal, and yet I somehow think it should have had no effect on my body? Apparently. I am doing so much unlearning these days.
I cried reading this. My second was born in January. My younger brother is getting married in November and I can't figure out why I can't find the motivation to lose the last 5 pounds before the wedding. I put all of this blame on myself without acknowledging that in the last 8 months: I had a baby, survived the infant stage, had a toddler go through a MAJOR surgery, am in the thick of getting said toddler through required rehab, had a parent diagnosed with a degenerative disease, worked and parented through a pandemic, etc., etc. If I were my own best friend, I'd bring me a plate of chocolate croissants and tell me to just order the bridesmaids dress in the next size up. Thank you so much for sharing this experience and opening my eyes to the reality of my own experience (as opposed to the false story I tell myself).
This was incredibly powerful, Virginia. Thank you.