Great article! Before the debate, I was so nervous. I'm a biracial woman in my 40's. Just thinking about all the traits Harris had to convey that night and how she had to code switch like a stop light for hours, gave me a panic attack. And then she nailed it and I was so PROUD! Phew.
Frankly, being a black woman is exhausting. Because we live a version of that debate night every day. It's a lifetime of double standards that we just accept as our reality. I know my make-up, hair, suits, voice affect my career. And the one time I slip on any of those, I could be out. We don't get second chances or the benefit of the doubt.
Anyway, I really appreciate this article, I wasn't expecting to feel seen and recognized today and it was very nice!
Also a biracial woman in my 40s who works in corporate America ( the 'suits' reference made me think possibly you do as well), and I was feeling so emotionally worn out today from the "weathering" effect of navigating a corporate environment while being POC and female. Agree, it was great feeling seen today
Loved reading this and couldn't help think about the way young Black girls tend to be viewed as much *older* than they are, sexualized earlier, expected to be more mature, less in need of protection, etc. The way whiteness has shaped cultural "norms" is really so insidious across the lifespan.
These are just quibbles but they are making my brain itch so here they are:
1) It’s not really the sun protection from melanin that’s at work here. Even the most highly melanated skin has a SPF of either 6 or 8 at most and Kamala has relatively light skin. Melanated skin also has higher collagen and the ethnic groups who tend to be the most melanated, those of African and Asian ancestry, also tend to have high facial subcutaneous fat deposits. It’s these factors that blunt the visible signs of skin aging. Also, and this is just my soapbox here, ALL PEOPLE NEED SUN PROTECTION NO MATTER HOW DARK YOUR SKIN IS!!!! PUT ON SUNSCREEN OR UPF OR A HAT OR ALL THREE! YOUR MELANIN WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM SKIN CANCER!! (getting off soapbox)
2) Is converse really a shoe that reads younger? I feel like all the women in my 20’s who I work with are wearing these thick soled monstrosities that are going to give them tendinitis while I’m still in my converse at 43.
I don’t know if you really needed to get into skin aging science for this essay since it covers many other, more important things but it is an assumption that bothers me for many reasons.
I’m in the Burnt Toast giving circle, Evil Witches giving circle, and Drinks with Broads giving circle- I have a hard time deciding how much money to donate! I have been busy writing my Women for Stein postcards all week here for NC and every member of my family has suggested that 100 was too many to commit to but I sincerely hope NC can get it together enough not to elect Mark Robinson.
My oldest will be 8 in January and we have talked a lot about the election. I was 30w pregnant with him when Hillary Clinton lost and he’s heard that story a lot because I cried a lot the next day but was comforted by feeling him move. Yesterday he was trying to understand the electoral college and I told him I would get an election book for kids. He said again yesterday- people weren’t ready for Hillary, but I think we are ready for Kamala. I think everyone wants her for president! (I talked to my friend who’s the art teacher 3 days at our school and 2 days at another, whiter school- she said the difference between who the kids talk about is very striking- we are a magnet but we have title 1 status).
I’ve often commented Tim Walz and my dad have the same energy and my dad is also a bald 59 yo who people tend to think looks older than my mom. But as his law partner I think about how society perceives him a lot and his age only adds to the assumption of his experience- he has been a criminal defense lawyer for over 30 years now since he graduated when I was 4, but there are many lawyers in their 70s in our county who are still widely esteemed. Every time someone retires it seems like we hold a reception at the courthouse and the majority are late 70s.
At first I thought you meant Jill Stein postcards! And then I remembered, no, in NC it’s JOSH Stein.
I am running for count govt this year and am finishing up my own GOTV postcards as well as a stack for MomsRising.
I have learned a lot during the campaign and done all I can to win. We’ll see! Fingers crossed for me, all the women running in Indiana and Harris/Walz!
Oh don’t get me started on Jill Stein! But yes Josh Stein for Governor has been my postcard writing campaign though we added a line in the script a couple weeks ago that said Vote Harris, Walz, Stein, Hunt, Jackson, and Mo Green, vote blue up and down the ballot, leave no office unchecked!
This is interested. I’m writing “Postcards for Swing States” and randomly got assigned a stack of North Carolina, and the script they told us to write basically says “we’re glad you’re a voter, don’t forget to vote!” but doesn’t specify candidates and I’ve wondered why.
It’s Claire Zulkey’s newsletter who commented here below me! About page description says:
Evil Witches is a newsletter for people who happen to be mothers, a parenting magazine that’s actually about the parents and what they care about. We believe motherhood is life-changing, but not life-defining.
This was a well-written piece and made me think of my mother-in-law. She is 71 now, and when she puts herself together she looks easily a decade younger (for her 70th birthday party she and my niece dressed up, and everyone thought my MIL couldn’t possibly be 70 when I showed them pics from her party). She has had trouble with diverticulitis this past year (she ended up with a perfed bowel at Christmas due to her condition and had further complications that thankfully she is past now). But even with that I sometimes wonder how much of the putting on the wig and the makeup and the nice outfit is what she wants to do and how much is doing what she feels is expected of her as a black woman of a certain age. It’s something I think about often.
I'm in western North Carolina (I'm ok and so is my house; I'm lucky), and I work for the state. I just want to say I'm so grateful that burnt toast and the states project are working here. I have no idea what will happen at the NC polls in November, but it will be close in a number of ways due to the intense gerrymandering here along with a lack of clarity on what voting will look like in western NC.
Even though I have checked my registration a million times at this point I still checked again, and every time I am surprised anew that they somehow have my age wrong (they already think I am 37 even though my birthday and Elizabeth’s too since we are twins is next month- they know she is 36 so it’s weird).
Great article! Before the debate, I was so nervous. I'm a biracial woman in my 40's. Just thinking about all the traits Harris had to convey that night and how she had to code switch like a stop light for hours, gave me a panic attack. And then she nailed it and I was so PROUD! Phew.
Frankly, being a black woman is exhausting. Because we live a version of that debate night every day. It's a lifetime of double standards that we just accept as our reality. I know my make-up, hair, suits, voice affect my career. And the one time I slip on any of those, I could be out. We don't get second chances or the benefit of the doubt.
Anyway, I really appreciate this article, I wasn't expecting to feel seen and recognized today and it was very nice!
Also a biracial woman in my 40s who works in corporate America ( the 'suits' reference made me think possibly you do as well), and I was feeling so emotionally worn out today from the "weathering" effect of navigating a corporate environment while being POC and female. Agree, it was great feeling seen today
So appreciate you sharing this. Hate these double standards!
Loved reading this and couldn't help think about the way young Black girls tend to be viewed as much *older* than they are, sexualized earlier, expected to be more mature, less in need of protection, etc. The way whiteness has shaped cultural "norms" is really so insidious across the lifespan.
YES. We adultify Black girls but infantilize Black women. So so so insidious.
These are just quibbles but they are making my brain itch so here they are:
1) It’s not really the sun protection from melanin that’s at work here. Even the most highly melanated skin has a SPF of either 6 or 8 at most and Kamala has relatively light skin. Melanated skin also has higher collagen and the ethnic groups who tend to be the most melanated, those of African and Asian ancestry, also tend to have high facial subcutaneous fat deposits. It’s these factors that blunt the visible signs of skin aging. Also, and this is just my soapbox here, ALL PEOPLE NEED SUN PROTECTION NO MATTER HOW DARK YOUR SKIN IS!!!! PUT ON SUNSCREEN OR UPF OR A HAT OR ALL THREE! YOUR MELANIN WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM SKIN CANCER!! (getting off soapbox)
2) Is converse really a shoe that reads younger? I feel like all the women in my 20’s who I work with are wearing these thick soled monstrosities that are going to give them tendinitis while I’m still in my converse at 43.
Thank you -- I should have spent more time on the science of skin/aging and spelled that out more precisely. And yes, everyone needs sun protection!!
My teenage niece and her friends all wear platform Converse so to me they read young!
Ah, I forgot that converse has a platform option.
I don’t know if you really needed to get into skin aging science for this essay since it covers many other, more important things but it is an assumption that bothers me for many reasons.
*their 20s not my 20s. I was wearing super cheap ballet flats and bad heels in my 20s
Ugh same.
I’m in the Burnt Toast giving circle, Evil Witches giving circle, and Drinks with Broads giving circle- I have a hard time deciding how much money to donate! I have been busy writing my Women for Stein postcards all week here for NC and every member of my family has suggested that 100 was too many to commit to but I sincerely hope NC can get it together enough not to elect Mark Robinson.
My oldest will be 8 in January and we have talked a lot about the election. I was 30w pregnant with him when Hillary Clinton lost and he’s heard that story a lot because I cried a lot the next day but was comforted by feeling him move. Yesterday he was trying to understand the electoral college and I told him I would get an election book for kids. He said again yesterday- people weren’t ready for Hillary, but I think we are ready for Kamala. I think everyone wants her for president! (I talked to my friend who’s the art teacher 3 days at our school and 2 days at another, whiter school- she said the difference between who the kids talk about is very striking- we are a magnet but we have title 1 status).
I’ve often commented Tim Walz and my dad have the same energy and my dad is also a bald 59 yo who people tend to think looks older than my mom. But as his law partner I think about how society perceives him a lot and his age only adds to the assumption of his experience- he has been a criminal defense lawyer for over 30 years now since he graduated when I was 4, but there are many lawyers in their 70s in our county who are still widely esteemed. Every time someone retires it seems like we hold a reception at the courthouse and the majority are late 70s.
At first I thought you meant Jill Stein postcards! And then I remembered, no, in NC it’s JOSH Stein.
I am running for count govt this year and am finishing up my own GOTV postcards as well as a stack for MomsRising.
I have learned a lot during the campaign and done all I can to win. We’ll see! Fingers crossed for me, all the women running in Indiana and Harris/Walz!
Oh don’t get me started on Jill Stein! But yes Josh Stein for Governor has been my postcard writing campaign though we added a line in the script a couple weeks ago that said Vote Harris, Walz, Stein, Hunt, Jackson, and Mo Green, vote blue up and down the ballot, leave no office unchecked!
This is interested. I’m writing “Postcards for Swing States” and randomly got assigned a stack of North Carolina, and the script they told us to write basically says “we’re glad you’re a voter, don’t forget to vote!” but doesn’t specify candidates and I’ve wondered why.
Also, good luck on your campaign, Veronica!
Hello, fellow Broad! Now what is Evil Witches because that sounds ideal for me…???
It’s Claire Zulkey’s newsletter who commented here below me! About page description says:
Evil Witches is a newsletter for people who happen to be mothers, a parenting magazine that’s actually about the parents and what they care about. We believe motherhood is life-changing, but not life-defining.
Ah! Thank you for letting me know. I am not a mother, so not the target audience.
I’ve been reading H&J since 2004 on GFY! I think about how long their writing has been in my life a lot.
I am Kristabelle over there. And I think I came across them around 2005 or 6? It’s been a lonnnnnng time. I feel like they are my real friends!
I salute you Elizabeth!!
This was a well-written piece and made me think of my mother-in-law. She is 71 now, and when she puts herself together she looks easily a decade younger (for her 70th birthday party she and my niece dressed up, and everyone thought my MIL couldn’t possibly be 70 when I showed them pics from her party). She has had trouble with diverticulitis this past year (she ended up with a perfed bowel at Christmas due to her condition and had further complications that thankfully she is past now). But even with that I sometimes wonder how much of the putting on the wig and the makeup and the nice outfit is what she wants to do and how much is doing what she feels is expected of her as a black woman of a certain age. It’s something I think about often.
I remember I didn’t know how old she was until she sat with me briefly at my wedding and I was shocked! I hope she has a healthier year.
I'm in western North Carolina (I'm ok and so is my house; I'm lucky), and I work for the state. I just want to say I'm so grateful that burnt toast and the states project are working here. I have no idea what will happen at the NC polls in November, but it will be close in a number of ways due to the intense gerrymandering here along with a lack of clarity on what voting will look like in western NC.
again, thank you all
SURJ is also doing a lot of phonebanking and canvassing in NC! And it's been pretty successful so far so fingers crossed.
Well, you outdid yourself, lady. You done damn good. Brava!
Anita, thank you!!
Even though I have checked my registration a million times at this point I still checked again, and every time I am surprised anew that they somehow have my age wrong (they already think I am 37 even though my birthday and Elizabeth’s too since we are twins is next month- they know she is 36 so it’s weird).
I still checked mine again too.