17 Comments
May 19, 2021Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Would it be possible to do one of these specifically for short people? Or that revisits the height question in general? Brands have already shifted "petite" sizes online-only. I imagine the same is true for "tall." I know the valences for being female-identifying folks who are short or tall and feeling welcome or safe in society are very different too. The way fashion interacts with this--cloaking all larger sizes in florals for instance--can make for very specific frustrations too.

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author

This is a great question. You are right that height can be difficult to navigate and a source of shaming (for very tall or very short people, of all genders), though it doesn't result in the same level of discrimination we see for folks in larger bodies. (Think about how tall people are not told they need to buy two plane tickets the way fat people often are...) But it's for sure a wardrobe conundrum! Next time I bring a style expert on, I'll ask about this.

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May 20, 2021Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Sorry, to be clear, I meant the intersections of both larger bodies and short/tall. For example, short people of any size tend to be read as non-threatening. How does the inaccessibility of some of the fashions of long more formal dresses (even petite, plus size dress like those at Universal Standard often lack the right hem-length if under 5'2") add to the difficultly of being taken seriously? I won't speak to the life experiences of tall people but I imagine there are similar challenges. I'm thinking about how height adds to the discrimination about size--and is compounded by fashion world prejudices. I hope that's useful as a place for generating ever more questions.

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Ah! Thank you for that clarification! Yes, I'm totally with you now. A large body that is also short or also tall is definitely even more ignored by mainstream fashion (and even these plus-specific brands). Absolutely, so much to explore here -- will put it on the list!

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May 19, 2021Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I have another addition for the swimsuit question (a hard one, for sure). Another option, depending on your style and what kind of suit you want is Tomboy X. I like that you can get a swimsuit that has shorts! https://tomboyx.com/collections/swim

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author

Yay! Thanks for sharing, this is great to know about.

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You are welcome!

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May 20, 2021Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

I loved this chat so much!

It meant a lot to hear that the burning clothes experience wasn't this powerful, cathartic moment but it was really hard and grief filled. That feels so real and like a more accurate representation of my healing journey.

Thank you for also including the transcript for those of us who find reading easier than listening and/or aren't in an environment that is conducive to an audio experience (ie while at work or around other people.

I'm also excited to look at some of these brands I haven't heard of before!

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author

Yay! Yes, happy to include transcripts - I totally get why reading is often easier than listening (but also vice versa!).

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An addition for the jeans - Betabrand does what they call “Yoga Denim” that work really well for me AND they fit well with the tunic leggings aesthetic :p

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Wonderful article. I do want to say, though, that while Shira has the absolute right to characterize her life in whatever way feels right to her, describing all Orthodox Judaism as "a cult" is offensive. If this is not what Shira meant by that, it isn't clear - her website describes her as having grown up in "an Orthodox Jewish home"; " Orthodox" could mean Lev Tahor (an actual, literal cult) or, like, Yeshivat Maharat-attending Open Orthodox feminists. Just a note because there are observant Jews reading this and worrying about what non-Jews will think of us based on this sort of careless language.

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May 19, 2021Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Hi, Shira here! I don’t feel that way about the religion as a whole but my specific upbringing made me feel that way at times. I’m sorry for using that word and honestly, if I could take it back, I would.

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Thank you for highlighting this. I’m so sorry I didn’t catch it in editing (I understood Shira’s context for the comment but agree it’s problematic to use without that context!). I’ve added a note in the transcript to address this. (Unfortunately I can’t edit audio after we’ve posted, so I thought it was better to speak to it there vs delete.)

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May 20, 2021Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith

Wow, thank you to both you and Shira; I really appreciate your (pl.) grace and responsiveness to this. It means a lot and I'm very grateful.

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author

Of course! Thank you again for reading and for bringing this up with such care.

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founding

Thanks to you and Shira for all these great suggestions. I clicked on a handful of the links but everything I looked at is sold out in many sizes, including mine. I’ve had the same issue with trying to online shop for jeans for months now. I don’t know if it’s COVID related supply chain issues or what. In any case, I appreciate the leads and will follow up on them once possible.

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author

Argh, so frustrating!!! Sorry about that. I have also been encountering that problem and hope brands restock fast!

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