I was one of the ones who sent this to you and my immediate, and continued, reaction is that it is grossly unfair to add this to the list of things mothers on their own are responsible for. And: What about acknowledging how that study had to have been correlation, not actual causation, and there are a whole list of factors that play into a child’s health? Also: Every mom deserves the freedom to exercise in a way that works for them and their body. They should not have to do it out of guilt for their future kids. I also was furious that dads weren’t even in the study this reel cited.
I have been working out regularly for 40+ years and I find this a complicated topic because until 5 years ago, I worked out as part of my disordered relationship with my body, which I wanted to be smaller. But when I gave up dieting, I didn't give up working out. I happen to like it -- I think. My trainer has become one of my best friends, so I like "seeing" him (we work out via Zoom) 3 X's a week. I love walking. I like the way I feel after a hard cardio workout on my Peloton. But if I analyze my workouts on a strictly, what-makes-me-healthier scale -- there's no way I need to do as much as I do, I could do much less and still enjoy the benefits (mainly low blood pressure and core strength, important to balance as we age). So what am I conveying to my kid, a very happy couch potato? I have no idea, but I think it's a mixed message because there's no way they're not picking up a whiff of compulsiveness. Then again, frankly, Whiff of Compulsiveness is my signature scent. It's part of what has helped me write so many books, it's part of why I walk, on average, 5 miles a day, it's why I love tidying (oh dear, white supremacy, like dust, gets in everywhere) . . . I think what I 'owe" my kid is being frank about being a work-in-progress, someone who can evolve, admit past biases that were once invisible to me. I do love being strong and my core strength probably helped me when I took a bad fall last summer. But working out is important only insofar as it improves actual health markers and I don't know how to convey that to my kid, so I think I'll just let them hang out on the couch. They'll find their way to what they want.
What this wonderful reel does not take into account is the kind of relationship that the mother has with exercise. Exercise is not always healthy, despite the claim that it is the thing to be encouraged.
Children will copy behaviors, yet the behavior sits on top of a pyramid of complicated individual, relational, societal expectations that women grapple with every day. What is the child actually copying? What thought patterns and beliefs about themselves and the world do the parents encourage under the seemingly positive habit of exercising?
I hope the father is just as supportive and in-tune with the context around his wife's exercising habits (whether positive or negative or neutral). I hope she is doing it because she loves her body and exercise brings her joy.
Fuck all of this video for so many reasons. I particularly love how the only reason to give your partner time to do anything just for themselves is because it’s also still in service to the children. Otherwise we don’t value it? And I would love for maintenance phase to look into the one study they based this on. I’m sure it was a flawless study 🙄
I have this secret (very petty) theory that every Fit Dad is an asshole. By which I mean that to have a body like that, it generally takes so much time and money and effort that I just assume someone (probably his wife) is minding the children so he can sculpt himself. In a similar vein, this reel feels like a simulacrum of what it's saying it is. It's performative fitness AND performative parenting at the same time.
It's the fitness version of the Montessori toy subscription. It's not enough to just give your kids a spray bottle and swiffer from the closet, it must be the chicest most optimized one. If you're going to "model movement" for your kids or whatever, you could take them to the park/driveway and shoot hoops! But no, that doesn't share well on social. Instead one must exercise aggressively and document beautifully. This is the bespoke fitness version of modeling, which is really just a marketing ploy.
I agree with all the other comments around how that bad study just feels demoralizing – great, one more way I've already screwed things up. I'm a straight sized person in a complicated relationship with exercise at the moment because I don't have a lot of time and I've realized that I want to do some kind of moment that is fun and isn't directly or indirectly about body modification. And wow is that hard to find. I do want to cultivate family activities that involve movement so that our only bonding activities aren't TV/video games/sedentary. There's probably some amount of internalized diet culture/fatphobia in that drive, but I'm trying to think of it as introducing my kids to a range of things and so they can learn what they like. And being outside is good for everyone, but sometimes it takes practice to learn how to dress for the weather or feel comfortable.
I have many problems with this reel, but mostly it makes me frustrated that it perpetuates the idea that movement has to look a certain way—in this case, disciplined running in a thin and able body. This misconception about movement shaped my unhealthy relationship to exercise for years. I want to model for my children that being outside, gardening, walking somewhere, splashing around in the water, dancing (or whatever they find fun) are just as ”valuable” (that word feels fraught!) as more formal types of exercise. I was always the slowest runner and hated playing sports so experiences like PE made me feel like I was a person who hated exercise. But I loved playing outside and dancing and swimming. And for years I forced myself to run because I didn’t know that exercise could feel joyful—and not look like me in spandex in an gym—and still “count.” I also wish we spent less time modeling discipline for our kids as a form of puritanical self improvement and instead focused that energy on our communities, but that’s a whole other can of worms.
My parents immigrated to the US before I was born. My culture of origin does not give a shit about fitness nearly as much as in the US. I find it really fascinating that I grew up learning that playing an instrument, singing, painting, writing well, and reading literature were of the utmost importance. I married into a very WASPy family from the Northeast where almost everyone is a marathoner/mountain biker/hiker. So for me, the part that I always find so funny is that this is SO culturally specific too. Why doesn't the US glamorize other hobbies? No one would ever say "you better get into woodworking because then your kids might be woodworkers".
The fact that dad is narrating makes it feel super, super condescending. I’m having a hard time getting past that. Plus, his conflation of “exercise” with “fitness” and “healthy,” which we all know are *not* synonymous, especially overlaid with the unspoken but very clear assumption that “skinny” is also part of the goal… [expletive].
At the same time, though, I do want my kids to see me moving my body! I want them to enjoy moving their bodies too! And I want my husband to rearrange his schedule (or at least be prepared to do the kid things I usually do) so I can go for an early run in the morning or a Pilates class that falls during school pickup. So if a mom shows a dad this and he picks up on that point, I guess it’s not all bad? Argh.
Ughhh as a runner who loves to run (but promises not to evangelize about it, because I do love it but also, let’s face it, running sucks) this bothers me so much. Let me have my grumpy little runs in peace please. Let me get the ADHD fluff out of my brain while wearing my fancy cute size inclusive running tights, thanks, without having to Think Of The Children. This is my time to listen to Beyoncé, and think judgmental thoughts about the renovations going on in my local area, and think about how good it will feel to get home and lie down on the floor for seventeen years or however long it takes to cool down. Let me have my runs!!! Grr.
Jun 2, 2023·edited Jun 2, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith
Ugh. On Wednesday I woke up in excruciating pain. The kind of all encompassing pain where I couldn’t finish a sentence without pausing to rest.
I don’t owe anyone my “health”, including my children. I am worthy as a parent even when I can’t get out of the fetal position. So I certainly don’t owe them running or “exercising” in any way.
I joined a fun pick up soccer “team” this winter and wow is it joyous to just run around and not be very good at something with other people who also DNGAF about being good. We play micro games, share the field with other pick up teams and families playing frisbee, and generally just hang out. It’s fun and exactly as competitive (basically just trash talk) as we want it to be. That kind of joy of movement is what I want to model for my kids. The kind where you do it because it is truly FUN and not a chore or an obligation.
Jun 2, 2023·edited Jun 2, 2023Liked by Virginia Sole-Smith
While it seems important to model behaviors you want your children to engage in, I have mixed feelings on introducing kids to working out, especially when they’re very young.
Once exercise as an obligation (and eventually as a method of weight loss) entered my life, I lost a piece of childhood. I have to wonder whether seeing my mom do aerobics in the living room contributed to the fact that I later did the same as a teen on my way to an eating disorder, because that was what I thought “exercise” looked like.
But that’s not to say that moms/parents shouldn’t exercise in front of their kids. There seems to be a fine line between modeling a healthy behavior and modeling diet culture. And of course each person’s relationship with movement depends on many factors. It seems more important to model doing physical activities you enjoy and encouraging them to find ones they enjoy — and if you don’t enjoy any, you shouldn’t feel obligated to do them.
You know, this reel is annoying, and essential oils are silly, and the entire premise of exercise as performance or moral education for children is...odd. HOWEVER - yeah, as parents we model for our kids every day / every way. We are definitely (at least I feel like I am, for mine) their interpreter of the world. Cue me explaining to my child what a typhoon is, why we have to cut our nails, whether toast is a superfood, and how old a turtle can be, just at breakfast this morning...while attempting to eat my own breakfast, drink coffee, read a story book, etc. A LOT of parenting feels performative for me, even the parts that I like. Where I find this reel problematic is a broader problem. For many people, who aren't grounded (rightly or wrongly) within a socio-moral framework like a religious faith, I think there's a continual search for a series of parameters or organizing principles that help us show our children how to be in the world. And a traditionally fit / healthy body is seen as a highly virtuous goal, moreover one that requires long term commitment and consistent work to achieve. So that may seem like a really good organizing principle for your behavior as a parent - crying child, go for a run! overstimulated child - go for a walk, feeling blue - play an outdoor game. But in this way, it's like all of these influencers are religious figures almost, soliciting you to their 'tent' (the tent of all natural foods, wooden toys, montessori, travel, exercise, whatever)...so they are extolling the virtues of their behavior, rather than simply 'showing' you their day. There is a moral and marketing message underlying these posts that is consistently problematic, right. Because it also of course demonstrates the outgroup (those who don't exercise, here) as well.
It took me right back to when I had 3 under 7 and my (ex) husband gave me a gym membership for Christmas so I could get back into pre-motherhood shape. What did not come with that gift was any acknowledgment that I would have to use it during the precious 2.5 hours that all three were in school or daycare. Like this woman, it was another responsibility to be fit into precious little “free” time....or I could take my children along. BTW, I returned the gift for a refund as we really couldn’t afford it and I knew I would need to fit a part time job in my already full schedule.
The thing that resonates most for me in this post is the question of whether our hobbies -- fitness-related or otherwise -- have to serve our kids, period. Why can't we just be into playing music or painting or rock climbing or gardening and have it be just because we like it? I've been playing fiddle since my kids were inside my belly. One of them decided she wanted to try it at age 4 but quit in middle school. The other had no interest, ever. It didn't occur to me that I was playing fiddle with some larger goal of starting a family string band or making them good at math or something like that. It was just...my thing!
This misses what I think is a golden opportunity to say "hey, parents -- if there are two of you, and one of you does more of the childcare and housekeeping in your relationship, be sure the other one is helping that one prioritize time to pursue their own interests, if possible. That will show your kids that having a life and interests outside of the childcare/housekeeping duties is important, preparing them to prioritize their own interests if they choose to have children some day. Having the default parent leave the house regularly for string band practice/salsa dancing/quilting club/pastry class will just be an expectation they have going into their parenting partnerships."
And ALSO ALSO! Even my "golden opportunity" here reeks of privilege -- privilege of time, of resources for "hobbies," of emotional bandwidth, etc.
So yeah. I find this video problematic on many levels.
Okay, so... I guess yay for recognising that a mother's needs matter. It's often much easier for men to go off to the gym for hours at a time than it is for women with caring responsibilities. Certainly in this season of my life I have fought to carve out and must continually protect the few times I get for exercise. Partly it works that's because my husband and I agree on the importance of exercise for my mental health. We prioritise it for me so that I can be a happier, more whole person. I'm not doing it for my kid. I don't owe my child my fitness. I like that I've set an example of prioritising my needs at times, but I exercise for me. And as far as I'm concerned that's the main reason to support any mother with exercise -- if she wants it for her.
At the same time, I grew up with my mother on the sidelines, not interested in bush walks or bike rides with us. I don't recall her ever swimming with me. I suspect she felt self conscious about her body, but also she probably just wasn't that into activities like hiking. However I've seen how inactivity over the years has caused her to miss out on some fun things and also probably exacerbated aches and pains. And I decided I wanted to be more active in my life so that I wasn't missing out. Together my husband and I decided we wanted to be an active family, and we decided together what that looks like: regular trips to the park, family walks on weekends when the weather is nice, encouraging each other and our child to pursue the movement that we like. Maybe one day we'll even go on a family bike ride looool (I can't actually ride). And that's what I feel is missing most from this reel. Yeah the kids apparently all just love running with the mum (who maybe would prefer to run alone) but the mother isn't the only one who can or should set the tone. I'd be more interested to hear at how they planned and negotiated this approach for their family.
Wow does this reel -- or really, this "study," which I have some doubts about -- make me feel guilty and terrible! And here I'd thought that I was mostly done with giving diet culture bullshit the power to make me feel terrible.
I have a fraught relationship with exercise, which was always sold to me (a fat kid, teen, and adult) as nothing but yet another way to lose weight that didn't work. I'm working on it, but the truth is that I still hate exercise. I would always, 100% of the time, prefer to be curled up on a couch reading a book.
This makes me feel guilty and worried for myself, and it's often a struggle to figure out how to navigate it with my extremely energetic kid. But now I get to ALSO feel guilty and worried about it FOR my kid! So awesome! Thanks, patriarchy! Thanks, diet culture! Aghhhh.
I was one of the ones who sent this to you and my immediate, and continued, reaction is that it is grossly unfair to add this to the list of things mothers on their own are responsible for. And: What about acknowledging how that study had to have been correlation, not actual causation, and there are a whole list of factors that play into a child’s health? Also: Every mom deserves the freedom to exercise in a way that works for them and their body. They should not have to do it out of guilt for their future kids. I also was furious that dads weren’t even in the study this reel cited.
I have been working out regularly for 40+ years and I find this a complicated topic because until 5 years ago, I worked out as part of my disordered relationship with my body, which I wanted to be smaller. But when I gave up dieting, I didn't give up working out. I happen to like it -- I think. My trainer has become one of my best friends, so I like "seeing" him (we work out via Zoom) 3 X's a week. I love walking. I like the way I feel after a hard cardio workout on my Peloton. But if I analyze my workouts on a strictly, what-makes-me-healthier scale -- there's no way I need to do as much as I do, I could do much less and still enjoy the benefits (mainly low blood pressure and core strength, important to balance as we age). So what am I conveying to my kid, a very happy couch potato? I have no idea, but I think it's a mixed message because there's no way they're not picking up a whiff of compulsiveness. Then again, frankly, Whiff of Compulsiveness is my signature scent. It's part of what has helped me write so many books, it's part of why I walk, on average, 5 miles a day, it's why I love tidying (oh dear, white supremacy, like dust, gets in everywhere) . . . I think what I 'owe" my kid is being frank about being a work-in-progress, someone who can evolve, admit past biases that were once invisible to me. I do love being strong and my core strength probably helped me when I took a bad fall last summer. But working out is important only insofar as it improves actual health markers and I don't know how to convey that to my kid, so I think I'll just let them hang out on the couch. They'll find their way to what they want.
What this wonderful reel does not take into account is the kind of relationship that the mother has with exercise. Exercise is not always healthy, despite the claim that it is the thing to be encouraged.
Children will copy behaviors, yet the behavior sits on top of a pyramid of complicated individual, relational, societal expectations that women grapple with every day. What is the child actually copying? What thought patterns and beliefs about themselves and the world do the parents encourage under the seemingly positive habit of exercising?
I hope the father is just as supportive and in-tune with the context around his wife's exercising habits (whether positive or negative or neutral). I hope she is doing it because she loves her body and exercise brings her joy.
Fuck all of this video for so many reasons. I particularly love how the only reason to give your partner time to do anything just for themselves is because it’s also still in service to the children. Otherwise we don’t value it? And I would love for maintenance phase to look into the one study they based this on. I’m sure it was a flawless study 🙄
I have this secret (very petty) theory that every Fit Dad is an asshole. By which I mean that to have a body like that, it generally takes so much time and money and effort that I just assume someone (probably his wife) is minding the children so he can sculpt himself. In a similar vein, this reel feels like a simulacrum of what it's saying it is. It's performative fitness AND performative parenting at the same time.
It's the fitness version of the Montessori toy subscription. It's not enough to just give your kids a spray bottle and swiffer from the closet, it must be the chicest most optimized one. If you're going to "model movement" for your kids or whatever, you could take them to the park/driveway and shoot hoops! But no, that doesn't share well on social. Instead one must exercise aggressively and document beautifully. This is the bespoke fitness version of modeling, which is really just a marketing ploy.
I agree with all the other comments around how that bad study just feels demoralizing – great, one more way I've already screwed things up. I'm a straight sized person in a complicated relationship with exercise at the moment because I don't have a lot of time and I've realized that I want to do some kind of moment that is fun and isn't directly or indirectly about body modification. And wow is that hard to find. I do want to cultivate family activities that involve movement so that our only bonding activities aren't TV/video games/sedentary. There's probably some amount of internalized diet culture/fatphobia in that drive, but I'm trying to think of it as introducing my kids to a range of things and so they can learn what they like. And being outside is good for everyone, but sometimes it takes practice to learn how to dress for the weather or feel comfortable.
I have many problems with this reel, but mostly it makes me frustrated that it perpetuates the idea that movement has to look a certain way—in this case, disciplined running in a thin and able body. This misconception about movement shaped my unhealthy relationship to exercise for years. I want to model for my children that being outside, gardening, walking somewhere, splashing around in the water, dancing (or whatever they find fun) are just as ”valuable” (that word feels fraught!) as more formal types of exercise. I was always the slowest runner and hated playing sports so experiences like PE made me feel like I was a person who hated exercise. But I loved playing outside and dancing and swimming. And for years I forced myself to run because I didn’t know that exercise could feel joyful—and not look like me in spandex in an gym—and still “count.” I also wish we spent less time modeling discipline for our kids as a form of puritanical self improvement and instead focused that energy on our communities, but that’s a whole other can of worms.
My parents immigrated to the US before I was born. My culture of origin does not give a shit about fitness nearly as much as in the US. I find it really fascinating that I grew up learning that playing an instrument, singing, painting, writing well, and reading literature were of the utmost importance. I married into a very WASPy family from the Northeast where almost everyone is a marathoner/mountain biker/hiker. So for me, the part that I always find so funny is that this is SO culturally specific too. Why doesn't the US glamorize other hobbies? No one would ever say "you better get into woodworking because then your kids might be woodworkers".
The fact that dad is narrating makes it feel super, super condescending. I’m having a hard time getting past that. Plus, his conflation of “exercise” with “fitness” and “healthy,” which we all know are *not* synonymous, especially overlaid with the unspoken but very clear assumption that “skinny” is also part of the goal… [expletive].
At the same time, though, I do want my kids to see me moving my body! I want them to enjoy moving their bodies too! And I want my husband to rearrange his schedule (or at least be prepared to do the kid things I usually do) so I can go for an early run in the morning or a Pilates class that falls during school pickup. So if a mom shows a dad this and he picks up on that point, I guess it’s not all bad? Argh.
Ughhh as a runner who loves to run (but promises not to evangelize about it, because I do love it but also, let’s face it, running sucks) this bothers me so much. Let me have my grumpy little runs in peace please. Let me get the ADHD fluff out of my brain while wearing my fancy cute size inclusive running tights, thanks, without having to Think Of The Children. This is my time to listen to Beyoncé, and think judgmental thoughts about the renovations going on in my local area, and think about how good it will feel to get home and lie down on the floor for seventeen years or however long it takes to cool down. Let me have my runs!!! Grr.
Ugh. On Wednesday I woke up in excruciating pain. The kind of all encompassing pain where I couldn’t finish a sentence without pausing to rest.
I don’t owe anyone my “health”, including my children. I am worthy as a parent even when I can’t get out of the fetal position. So I certainly don’t owe them running or “exercising” in any way.
I joined a fun pick up soccer “team” this winter and wow is it joyous to just run around and not be very good at something with other people who also DNGAF about being good. We play micro games, share the field with other pick up teams and families playing frisbee, and generally just hang out. It’s fun and exactly as competitive (basically just trash talk) as we want it to be. That kind of joy of movement is what I want to model for my kids. The kind where you do it because it is truly FUN and not a chore or an obligation.
While it seems important to model behaviors you want your children to engage in, I have mixed feelings on introducing kids to working out, especially when they’re very young.
Once exercise as an obligation (and eventually as a method of weight loss) entered my life, I lost a piece of childhood. I have to wonder whether seeing my mom do aerobics in the living room contributed to the fact that I later did the same as a teen on my way to an eating disorder, because that was what I thought “exercise” looked like.
But that’s not to say that moms/parents shouldn’t exercise in front of their kids. There seems to be a fine line between modeling a healthy behavior and modeling diet culture. And of course each person’s relationship with movement depends on many factors. It seems more important to model doing physical activities you enjoy and encouraging them to find ones they enjoy — and if you don’t enjoy any, you shouldn’t feel obligated to do them.
You know, this reel is annoying, and essential oils are silly, and the entire premise of exercise as performance or moral education for children is...odd. HOWEVER - yeah, as parents we model for our kids every day / every way. We are definitely (at least I feel like I am, for mine) their interpreter of the world. Cue me explaining to my child what a typhoon is, why we have to cut our nails, whether toast is a superfood, and how old a turtle can be, just at breakfast this morning...while attempting to eat my own breakfast, drink coffee, read a story book, etc. A LOT of parenting feels performative for me, even the parts that I like. Where I find this reel problematic is a broader problem. For many people, who aren't grounded (rightly or wrongly) within a socio-moral framework like a religious faith, I think there's a continual search for a series of parameters or organizing principles that help us show our children how to be in the world. And a traditionally fit / healthy body is seen as a highly virtuous goal, moreover one that requires long term commitment and consistent work to achieve. So that may seem like a really good organizing principle for your behavior as a parent - crying child, go for a run! overstimulated child - go for a walk, feeling blue - play an outdoor game. But in this way, it's like all of these influencers are religious figures almost, soliciting you to their 'tent' (the tent of all natural foods, wooden toys, montessori, travel, exercise, whatever)...so they are extolling the virtues of their behavior, rather than simply 'showing' you their day. There is a moral and marketing message underlying these posts that is consistently problematic, right. Because it also of course demonstrates the outgroup (those who don't exercise, here) as well.
It took me right back to when I had 3 under 7 and my (ex) husband gave me a gym membership for Christmas so I could get back into pre-motherhood shape. What did not come with that gift was any acknowledgment that I would have to use it during the precious 2.5 hours that all three were in school or daycare. Like this woman, it was another responsibility to be fit into precious little “free” time....or I could take my children along. BTW, I returned the gift for a refund as we really couldn’t afford it and I knew I would need to fit a part time job in my already full schedule.
The thing that resonates most for me in this post is the question of whether our hobbies -- fitness-related or otherwise -- have to serve our kids, period. Why can't we just be into playing music or painting or rock climbing or gardening and have it be just because we like it? I've been playing fiddle since my kids were inside my belly. One of them decided she wanted to try it at age 4 but quit in middle school. The other had no interest, ever. It didn't occur to me that I was playing fiddle with some larger goal of starting a family string band or making them good at math or something like that. It was just...my thing!
This misses what I think is a golden opportunity to say "hey, parents -- if there are two of you, and one of you does more of the childcare and housekeeping in your relationship, be sure the other one is helping that one prioritize time to pursue their own interests, if possible. That will show your kids that having a life and interests outside of the childcare/housekeeping duties is important, preparing them to prioritize their own interests if they choose to have children some day. Having the default parent leave the house regularly for string band practice/salsa dancing/quilting club/pastry class will just be an expectation they have going into their parenting partnerships."
And ALSO ALSO! Even my "golden opportunity" here reeks of privilege -- privilege of time, of resources for "hobbies," of emotional bandwidth, etc.
So yeah. I find this video problematic on many levels.
Okay, so... I guess yay for recognising that a mother's needs matter. It's often much easier for men to go off to the gym for hours at a time than it is for women with caring responsibilities. Certainly in this season of my life I have fought to carve out and must continually protect the few times I get for exercise. Partly it works that's because my husband and I agree on the importance of exercise for my mental health. We prioritise it for me so that I can be a happier, more whole person. I'm not doing it for my kid. I don't owe my child my fitness. I like that I've set an example of prioritising my needs at times, but I exercise for me. And as far as I'm concerned that's the main reason to support any mother with exercise -- if she wants it for her.
At the same time, I grew up with my mother on the sidelines, not interested in bush walks or bike rides with us. I don't recall her ever swimming with me. I suspect she felt self conscious about her body, but also she probably just wasn't that into activities like hiking. However I've seen how inactivity over the years has caused her to miss out on some fun things and also probably exacerbated aches and pains. And I decided I wanted to be more active in my life so that I wasn't missing out. Together my husband and I decided we wanted to be an active family, and we decided together what that looks like: regular trips to the park, family walks on weekends when the weather is nice, encouraging each other and our child to pursue the movement that we like. Maybe one day we'll even go on a family bike ride looool (I can't actually ride). And that's what I feel is missing most from this reel. Yeah the kids apparently all just love running with the mum (who maybe would prefer to run alone) but the mother isn't the only one who can or should set the tone. I'd be more interested to hear at how they planned and negotiated this approach for their family.
Wow does this reel -- or really, this "study," which I have some doubts about -- make me feel guilty and terrible! And here I'd thought that I was mostly done with giving diet culture bullshit the power to make me feel terrible.
I have a fraught relationship with exercise, which was always sold to me (a fat kid, teen, and adult) as nothing but yet another way to lose weight that didn't work. I'm working on it, but the truth is that I still hate exercise. I would always, 100% of the time, prefer to be curled up on a couch reading a book.
This makes me feel guilty and worried for myself, and it's often a struggle to figure out how to navigate it with my extremely energetic kid. But now I get to ALSO feel guilty and worried about it FOR my kid! So awesome! Thanks, patriarchy! Thanks, diet culture! Aghhhh.