Relationship Status
Plus WaterTok, the myth of the "marriageability gap," and owning your awesome.
Friday Thread: Relationship Status
Thank you all so so much for the overwhelmingly supportive response to Tuesday’s essay. Your comments and emails and DMs were incredible. I feel like I have, oh, 39,000-and-counting big sisters and friends all looking out for me right now. As I said at the end of that piece, this isn’t going to become a divorce newsletter now. But so many of you shared your own experiences with relationships ending or changing, and it made me curious to know more about where you’re all at with dating/marriage/not partnering. So I thought we could talk about that a bit today, both because I love getting to know you better and because it helps me think more about how relationship-related topics should filter into our work here.
What kind of relationship(s) are you in right now?
Or what kind of relationship(s) do you hope to be in? And what terms do you use to define your relationship status? (Are we saying “single,” or is there something better? Asking for a me!)
By the way, feel very free to take this outside the romance/marriage paradigm. For example, I’m in love with my kids. I’m also in important relationships with my parents and siblings, my dog, and many good friends—and feeling absolutely complete with that list.
PS. To tell us your relationship status (and read everyone else’s! 👀) you do need to be a paid Burnt Toast subscriber. Here’s how to join us! Please check out our thread rules if you’re a new commenter.
Friday Links & Recs
Stop telling women to marry down. (No, truly.)
I’ve had a few instances recently where I held back from saying something more concrete about my professional success so it would not make the other person (random acquaintances at parties, my doctor asking me how work is going, etc) uncomfortable. This is gender normative bullshit, and I so appreciate
(and Simone Biles!) reminding us that it’s great to say “I am awesome.”The States Project made the cover of the NYT! Have you joined the Burnt Toast Giving Circle yet?
More great reporting on food in prison from
& co.“Two days ago, it occurred to me that this advice to limit distractions so kids can eat just until they’re full and immediately stop is classic women’s magazine advice.”
A gorgeous and powerful essay about fat kids and complicated moms by
writing on . (CW for eating disorders, child neglect, self-harm.)A grocery budget I can get behind:
This piece on advocating for yourself at the cardiologist was written with congenital heart patients in mind (and I’m saving it for my kiddo!) but is honestly just so helpful for anyone managing chronic conditions.
An excellent interrogation of WaterTok by
. (Yes yes yes to the diet culture of it all, but I will say, as an American who spent a lot of time in the UK growing up—there absolutely is a different culture around restaurant water glasses and I always have to adjust!)Gardener friends, it’s almost time to bring houseplants indoors and try to stash various annuals that cost too much to be one season wonders. This is so helpful.
on the question of to whom a mother’s body belongs. I cannot WAIT to read Touched Out! (I also resonate with her thoughts on a quiet first book followed by a louder second one.)
Everyone is DMing me Kate Yeager content and yes, this song (out now!) is exquisite and heartbreaking.
I ordered the Nisolo boots from last week (and sized up per your advice) even though they are final sale. Pray for me or expect to see them on Poshmark soon I guess? (I’m holding off on the clogs though! So strong!)
Book Stuff
I spoke with Christine Byrne for Self.com on how to talk to your teenager about diet culture and anti-fatness.
I’m delighted to be part of this year’s Authors for Voices of Color Auction, in support of We Need Diverse Books. And sure you can (and should!) bid on dinner with Jacqueline Woodson or a manuscript review from Jennifer Weiner, fancy, fancy, but you can also bid on me and get a free BT subscription, signed copies of both my books, a podcast shout-out and more!
The Fat Talk audio book is currently free with your Audible trial. (It pains me to say that because I am Team Libro.FM forever but I don’t want you to miss a deal.)