Love this so much. Throwing out my scale was one of the most liberating days of my life (and hard!! it was scary at the time). One thing that helped me get there was asking myself "who am I doing this for?" each time I stepped on it. The answer was never "me."
My husband also balked when I told him I wanted to get rid of the scale. It’s hard to explain to someone who has never had an eating disorder why the scale is such a villain. To him it was just a useful tool like the blender. One day I just got rid of it (and deleted the app that went with it to “conveniently” track my weight so I could always have a running tally of my value as a person!). Oh do I feel better. Oh do I not miss it. I wish the same for you :)
Thank you so much for this. I was trying to explain this to a friend recently, and, of course, you've done it here with such grace and science, and I'm happy to have this in my arsenal now to forward/share widely!
Also, I recently had surgery, and was terrified leading up to it that they would have to weigh me to figure out how much anesthesia I needed (and yes, I saw the part at the end about how I have more work to do around why it matters to me, and, yeah, I really do!) but when the time came, I said I didn't want to know the number, the nurse weighed me facing away from the read-out, and it was no big deal at all. Progress-- in that the healthcare providers I was lucky enough to work with were totally unphased/on board with this way to weigh! Now to make the kind of progress where I don't need to know but also wouldn't be affected (positively or negatively!) by the answer if I did know!
Thank you, Virginia, and this beautiful community. I feel the progress!!!
GET RID OF YOUR SCALE! Don't think harder about it, just do it. This was my very first action in healing my disordered eating and it helped a lot. Just do it. (If your life and mental and emotional wellbeing is negatively impacted to a detrimental degree, you can always buy another one. Tuck that into the back of your mind when it feels the scariest, and JUST DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!)
I threw out my scale about 6 months ago and I don’t miss it and have so much more mental peace not knowing that number. But it took a while before I was ready to toss it - I put it in a closet maybe a year before I actually threw it away. Baby steps in the right direction!
I threw my scale out about 8 years ago and have never ever regretted it. Who needs to feel like shit for the rest of the day because of that thing?? Talk about not needing that things external validation!! And that is exactly what would happen every day multiple times. The hubby couldnt believe I wasnt going to have a functioning scale in the house, lol, but he adjusted to the idea eventually.
You literally have no need for it and it is a liberating experience to pitch it into a dumpster!!
I have gotten myself 1000% on board with not weighing myself, but haven't been able to throw out my scale because of the repeated experience of being asked my weight for virtual doctor's appointments. I always respond with "I don't track my weight" and they always follow up with "but just give us a number". The absolute worst of these just happened last week when my fertility doctor's office called needing my height and weight because MY INSURANCE COMPANY WOULD NOT APPROVE MY FERTILITY TREATMENT WITHOUT A FUCKING BMI. The nurse reassured me (when I asked) that is was just for insurance and would not impact my treatment, but I have no idea how to deal with this shit. (Sorry, is swearing ok here?) I haven't actually reweighed myself for any of these, just given a guess, but it makes me feel so trapped and hopeless. Any advice from you brilliant/wise/wonderful people?
Swearing is 100% allowed and maybe even required if we're talking about the fucking BMI. That doctor's office weigh-in piece I linked above may have some useful guidance -- 9 times out of 10, you can decline to give a number (just tell them to write "declined"). In the case of fertility treatment, it still seems SUPER SUSPECT, but making it up is probably the path of least resistance. If it's just to ensure insurance coverage and not to dose a medication, then it literally doesn't matter what you say. (Which is why it's so dumb that it's even required!)
I say "I don't track my weight" if my doc asks. I even refused a weigh-in at the ER when I went in for what turned out to be appendicitis. I kept waiting for them to ask me to get on a scale later in the day (because anesthesia is one of those medically necessary reasons) but they never did, so either there was some other way they got my weight before surgery, or they used an old weight from my records.
Appreciate the reminder that the fear we have around being weighed is a part of anti-fatness. I know Linda (@fluffykittenparty) has talked about this on IG before. It’s a humbling reminder for me who was upset when I got weighed at the doctor a couple years ago when the number was higher than it’s ever been (even though I haven’t ever owned a scale in my adult life). It proved that weight still isn’t totally neutral for me. However, like you said, I still don’t advocate for owning a scale. I think under guidance (e.g., a therapist) there is room to work through scale fear but there’s no need to own one long-term or on an ongoing basis when the information generally doesn’t serve a useful purpose for us! I’ve been meaning to dive into the history of home scales and self-weighing because I’m 99% sure it’s not about health and it’s probably fascinating.
It's amazing (but perhaps not surprising) that even ten years into radical fat acceptance I still, whenever I have to get weighed for specific medical reasons, look at the number and go "oh I'm Bad" or "Yay I'm Good I Deserve Food." A bit silly, but one thing that helps with those necessary weigh-ins is having to weigh yarn and fiber a bunch for projects - something very soothing about being repeatedly reminded that appearance and weight are not interlinked and also carry no moral value for physical objects. The only time I'm mad at the weight of yarn is when it's just shy of the amount I need and I have to go get another skein 😤
I think I still have a scale but I might not. I know I gave away the fancy Tanita body fat one on Buy Nothing. I was thinking about the other one recently because one of my senior cats appears to be losing weight and I wanted to check, but even the act of seeing if I still have it and then asking my partner to do the weigh with and without cat thing seemed like too much. So maybe (with two senior felines) I just need to invest in a small pet / infant scale and be done with it! That way I can track the cats' weight but have a machine that is utterly useless for weighing adult humans. (Even better, before I buy one I just put up an ISO post on Buy Nothing)
I clicked through to the Scientific American article linked (I wanted to see the scale on fire!) and it made me even more grateful for this newsletter because the first thing I saw once I scrolled past the headline and byline was a weight loss ad. Which I found frustrating and disappointing but not surprising.
I haven’t stepped on a scale in months, including at the doctor’s office, though I still have a scale. What’s more meaningful to me is that I’m starting to experience clear signals of both hunger and approaching fullness, for the first time in DECADES. Very empowering feeling, this. Maybe it’s time to run over my old bathroom scale and dump the pieces in the trash?
Throwing out my scale was one of the best things I ever did for my mental health, but it can be hard to do! My therapist recommended that I put it in a closet on the highest shelf for a few weeks as a halfway step. That way I wasn't weighing myself constantly. A few weeks later, when I really hadn't wanted it back, I got rid of it.
I had a scale growing up but never bought one when I left for college, and accidentally freed myself from the tyranny of that stupid thing. For years I'd make up a rough number of what I weighed when asked (for a driver's license; doing a medical in-take over the phone) and have come to realize: It doesn't matter what number you give them! (Caveat with Virginia's exceptions in her post, of course.)
One thing to note: If you use your scale for weighing your luggage (I used to step on the scale, then step on the scale holding my suitcase and get the difference to figure out if my suitcase was too heavy) you'll need a different method. There are neat handheld luggage scales that are very small and you hold in your hand while hooking your luggage to it.
I was thinking back to having to weigh my luggage as one of the few reasons I really would need to know a number but I don't need to know MY number, I need to know the suitcase's number. Good to know about this handheld option.
When we moved almost 2 years ago my scale went into a box and I just didn't unpack it for the longest time. My husband weighs himself as part of monitoring his health as a prediabetic, also because he trains for bike racing and power to weight ratio is a thing related to measuring results of his training. I just never got the scale out of the box and told him that I was no longer weighing myself. Finally my husband, without even asking me, put it on Buy Nothing and we got rid of it. I love him for doing that without ever questioning my decision, because it would have been easy for him to think of it as a health metric I need to know.
I give blood regularly and they always want to know my weight. I've tried saying "it's enough" and they need a number to put in their form because the computer won't let them move on so I give them a guestimate. I realize that I am still probably rounding down after all those years of fudging my driver's license. I'm working on it.
I just had an ER visit for a broken bone and they asked a weight in order to determine my morphine dose for the pain. They sure as heck didn't make me get up off the gurney where I had already fainted once and weigh myself so I gave them a guestimate same as I do for the blood donation.
Love this so much. Throwing out my scale was one of the most liberating days of my life (and hard!! it was scary at the time). One thing that helped me get there was asking myself "who am I doing this for?" each time I stepped on it. The answer was never "me."
Ohhh great advice.
My husband also balked when I told him I wanted to get rid of the scale. It’s hard to explain to someone who has never had an eating disorder why the scale is such a villain. To him it was just a useful tool like the blender. One day I just got rid of it (and deleted the app that went with it to “conveniently” track my weight so I could always have a running tally of my value as a person!). Oh do I feel better. Oh do I not miss it. I wish the same for you :)
Oh yes, deleting apps is also crucial.
Thank you so much for this. I was trying to explain this to a friend recently, and, of course, you've done it here with such grace and science, and I'm happy to have this in my arsenal now to forward/share widely!
Also, I recently had surgery, and was terrified leading up to it that they would have to weigh me to figure out how much anesthesia I needed (and yes, I saw the part at the end about how I have more work to do around why it matters to me, and, yeah, I really do!) but when the time came, I said I didn't want to know the number, the nurse weighed me facing away from the read-out, and it was no big deal at all. Progress-- in that the healthcare providers I was lucky enough to work with were totally unphased/on board with this way to weigh! Now to make the kind of progress where I don't need to know but also wouldn't be affected (positively or negatively!) by the answer if I did know!
Thank you, Virginia, and this beautiful community. I feel the progress!!!
GET RID OF YOUR SCALE! Don't think harder about it, just do it. This was my very first action in healing my disordered eating and it helped a lot. Just do it. (If your life and mental and emotional wellbeing is negatively impacted to a detrimental degree, you can always buy another one. Tuck that into the back of your mind when it feels the scariest, and JUST DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!)
Love this energy!!!
It's kind of a yell-y energy on the screen but I mean it to be a powerful and empowering energy IRL 😉
Totally here for yelling about the stupidity of scales.
I threw out my scale about 6 months ago and I don’t miss it and have so much more mental peace not knowing that number. But it took a while before I was ready to toss it - I put it in a closet maybe a year before I actually threw it away. Baby steps in the right direction!
We will take baby steps!
I threw my scale out about 8 years ago and have never ever regretted it. Who needs to feel like shit for the rest of the day because of that thing?? Talk about not needing that things external validation!! And that is exactly what would happen every day multiple times. The hubby couldnt believe I wasnt going to have a functioning scale in the house, lol, but he adjusted to the idea eventually.
You literally have no need for it and it is a liberating experience to pitch it into a dumpster!!
Hooray!
I have gotten myself 1000% on board with not weighing myself, but haven't been able to throw out my scale because of the repeated experience of being asked my weight for virtual doctor's appointments. I always respond with "I don't track my weight" and they always follow up with "but just give us a number". The absolute worst of these just happened last week when my fertility doctor's office called needing my height and weight because MY INSURANCE COMPANY WOULD NOT APPROVE MY FERTILITY TREATMENT WITHOUT A FUCKING BMI. The nurse reassured me (when I asked) that is was just for insurance and would not impact my treatment, but I have no idea how to deal with this shit. (Sorry, is swearing ok here?) I haven't actually reweighed myself for any of these, just given a guess, but it makes me feel so trapped and hopeless. Any advice from you brilliant/wise/wonderful people?
Swearing is 100% allowed and maybe even required if we're talking about the fucking BMI. That doctor's office weigh-in piece I linked above may have some useful guidance -- 9 times out of 10, you can decline to give a number (just tell them to write "declined"). In the case of fertility treatment, it still seems SUPER SUSPECT, but making it up is probably the path of least resistance. If it's just to ensure insurance coverage and not to dose a medication, then it literally doesn't matter what you say. (Which is why it's so dumb that it's even required!)
As if dealing with infertility isn’t emotionally hard enough! :(
I say "I don't track my weight" if my doc asks. I even refused a weigh-in at the ER when I went in for what turned out to be appendicitis. I kept waiting for them to ask me to get on a scale later in the day (because anesthesia is one of those medically necessary reasons) but they never did, so either there was some other way they got my weight before surgery, or they used an old weight from my records.
Appreciate the reminder that the fear we have around being weighed is a part of anti-fatness. I know Linda (@fluffykittenparty) has talked about this on IG before. It’s a humbling reminder for me who was upset when I got weighed at the doctor a couple years ago when the number was higher than it’s ever been (even though I haven’t ever owned a scale in my adult life). It proved that weight still isn’t totally neutral for me. However, like you said, I still don’t advocate for owning a scale. I think under guidance (e.g., a therapist) there is room to work through scale fear but there’s no need to own one long-term or on an ongoing basis when the information generally doesn’t serve a useful purpose for us! I’ve been meaning to dive into the history of home scales and self-weighing because I’m 99% sure it’s not about health and it’s probably fascinating.
Ooooh yes, I would love to know the history of home weigh-ins. The early marketing is probably bonkers.
It's amazing (but perhaps not surprising) that even ten years into radical fat acceptance I still, whenever I have to get weighed for specific medical reasons, look at the number and go "oh I'm Bad" or "Yay I'm Good I Deserve Food." A bit silly, but one thing that helps with those necessary weigh-ins is having to weigh yarn and fiber a bunch for projects - something very soothing about being repeatedly reminded that appearance and weight are not interlinked and also carry no moral value for physical objects. The only time I'm mad at the weight of yarn is when it's just shy of the amount I need and I have to go get another skein 😤
Love that strategy!
We moved last year and got rid of our scale. I don't miss it at all. Trying to focus on how I feel in my body vs. what the number on the scale is.
I think I still have a scale but I might not. I know I gave away the fancy Tanita body fat one on Buy Nothing. I was thinking about the other one recently because one of my senior cats appears to be losing weight and I wanted to check, but even the act of seeing if I still have it and then asking my partner to do the weigh with and without cat thing seemed like too much. So maybe (with two senior felines) I just need to invest in a small pet / infant scale and be done with it! That way I can track the cats' weight but have a machine that is utterly useless for weighing adult humans. (Even better, before I buy one I just put up an ISO post on Buy Nothing)
Fingers crossed for a good free cat scale!
Trying hard to not buy new stuff when there's used stuff out in the world! There's enough stuff!
I clicked through to the Scientific American article linked (I wanted to see the scale on fire!) and it made me even more grateful for this newsletter because the first thing I saw once I scrolled past the headline and byline was a weight loss ad. Which I found frustrating and disappointing but not surprising.
Now you know precisely why I started a newsletter!!!!
I haven’t stepped on a scale in months, including at the doctor’s office, though I still have a scale. What’s more meaningful to me is that I’m starting to experience clear signals of both hunger and approaching fullness, for the first time in DECADES. Very empowering feeling, this. Maybe it’s time to run over my old bathroom scale and dump the pieces in the trash?
Picture me chanting RUN IT OVER. (And if you do, send video!)
Throwing out my scale was one of the best things I ever did for my mental health, but it can be hard to do! My therapist recommended that I put it in a closet on the highest shelf for a few weeks as a halfway step. That way I wasn't weighing myself constantly. A few weeks later, when I really hadn't wanted it back, I got rid of it.
Sounds like a great strategy for anyone having an especially difficult time getting rid of it!
I had a scale growing up but never bought one when I left for college, and accidentally freed myself from the tyranny of that stupid thing. For years I'd make up a rough number of what I weighed when asked (for a driver's license; doing a medical in-take over the phone) and have come to realize: It doesn't matter what number you give them! (Caveat with Virginia's exceptions in her post, of course.)
One thing to note: If you use your scale for weighing your luggage (I used to step on the scale, then step on the scale holding my suitcase and get the difference to figure out if my suitcase was too heavy) you'll need a different method. There are neat handheld luggage scales that are very small and you hold in your hand while hooking your luggage to it.
I was thinking back to having to weigh my luggage as one of the few reasons I really would need to know a number but I don't need to know MY number, I need to know the suitcase's number. Good to know about this handheld option.
When we moved almost 2 years ago my scale went into a box and I just didn't unpack it for the longest time. My husband weighs himself as part of monitoring his health as a prediabetic, also because he trains for bike racing and power to weight ratio is a thing related to measuring results of his training. I just never got the scale out of the box and told him that I was no longer weighing myself. Finally my husband, without even asking me, put it on Buy Nothing and we got rid of it. I love him for doing that without ever questioning my decision, because it would have been easy for him to think of it as a health metric I need to know.
I give blood regularly and they always want to know my weight. I've tried saying "it's enough" and they need a number to put in their form because the computer won't let them move on so I give them a guestimate. I realize that I am still probably rounding down after all those years of fudging my driver's license. I'm working on it.
I just had an ER visit for a broken bone and they asked a weight in order to determine my morphine dose for the pain. They sure as heck didn't make me get up off the gurney where I had already fainted once and weigh myself so I gave them a guestimate same as I do for the blood donation.