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Amanda N. Bray's avatar

Incredible resource here! Bookmarking it to share with others who are just ditching Noom or letting themselves bask in the glory of guilt free cracker snacking. 🫶

I’d also love to toss some love to anyone who’s neurodiverse (or perhaps doesn’t know it) and who assumes they’re just lazy or not disciplined enough. I grew up in a home where my parents’ special interests are religion and dieting. Like a lot of what Virginia points out above, the weight never stayed off. And it perpetuated massive levels of shame piled onto all the masking habits I carried socially and relationally. I have read in a lot of “literature” that Autistic people are lazy or exercise resistant and it’s wholly cast as yet another deficiency or human failure. (And I believed this for many years!)

Here’s the thing though: If you’re neurodiverse, many things about the world are intrinsically confusing and I’d argue, even unavoidably traumatizing. How exercise feels to others, could feel like walking into a war zone for your body. If you’re still masking 8-9 hours a day at a desk job that your body dreads every morning, good luck having any energy to find food that tastes good and satisfies you, let alone, at the end of the day to get any sort of movement in. (My days in a 9-to-5 were drenched in inner chaos I had to hide from others, sneaking food or Starbucks runs and then starving myself later.) Here’s what I didn’t have language to describe, though: I lived in burnout as a default, and then on top of it, I was cast as a problematic person or just plain lazy if I was not also thin from d*eting all the time.

It took a lot of trial and error to realize my body *was* on my side when I try to run (and it starts dropping into a panic attack from sweat and elevated heart rate)—running intrinsically sets off lots of alarm bells in my system. And it doesn’t mean you or I are lazy because we don’t “just push through” the panic attack. (Jfc just typing that sentence makes me angry!) Eating yummy food (when I was off my d*et) was literally the only time in my day where I wasn’t masking and could feel OKish for 8-10 minutes of my day.

TLDR: If you’re neurodiverse and learning how to unmask, or only mask in ways that serve you, there’s room for you to feel good inside your body just as you are. This isn’t another social rule you just can’t seem to get the hang of. You’re doing fine, things can feel better, and we want you here. 🫶

Razza's avatar

Thanks so much for this Virginia. Even though these ideas are familiar to me, it’s really great to know this information is here in one place if I ever need a resource to defend my position.

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