Yay! Love seeing you ons the NYT but clearly I have FEELINGS about the framing and the lack of nuance or focus on the incredible community you've built here. This is truly one of the most lovely places online and my world is bigger, clearer, and more interesting because of you and all of your invaluable work. HEART EMOJI and BurntToast4Life.
I loved the piece…reading the NYT and running across your article was like running into an old friend in the grocery store. “Oh! I know you!” Damn, though, the comments were a bummer. As a longtime NYT subscriber, I should have expected it. The level of priggish self-congratulation in the comments on anything health related is through the roof. Fatphobe City. Oh, well…screw ‘em. And welcome to the new subscribers!
Just want to thank you for doing this work! Wild to read the NYT piece and be reminded of how fatphobic mainstream media still is (insistence that ob*sity is a disease and only the blandest mention that IWL fails). But also so important for your work to be platformed this way! And welcome to new folks!
This is one of my favorite places on the internet and it’s been one of my great joys to watch this space expand, flex, and continue to challenge us to let go of diet culture in all the places it manifests. You make me think (a lot!!) every damn week. What a privilege to be here!
I'm relatively new here -- Virginia, I found your work a few months ago while grappling with the mortification of realizing I was falling into an eating disorder in my 40s (triggered by my first less than perfect cholesterol panel this year). It's been really helpful. You helped me eat eggs again. At the same time, reading the NYT article this morning helped me see something I hadn't quite put my finger on yet, which is this feeling that maybe I don't quite belong here. The thing that clicked into place for me was reading about the demographics of the followers here which are primarily white, cis, straight, suburban. (I'm white, cis, fiercely urban, lesbian) and I realized it was like when I had a baby and went to a "new moms" group where I was the only lesbian and it was like an anthropological study of straight culture (I went home and told my wife: "I think all these women have a deep rage at their husbands that I didn't realize!") I guess I feel an unease with my struggles with diet culture and my queerness which I feel like should have given me an out from all of this and in some ways gives me a different perspective on things. All this is to say: shout out to other queer people here; thank you, Virginia, and the community here for being welcoming.
(Apologies if this was oversharing. May delete later if I'm feeling too vulnerable.)
Exactly who would the anti-diet message best come from for these sanctimonious people? Would they really sit down and explore the science, the stories, the capitalism, misogyny, and racism if it was presented by someone completely different than Virginia? Or is it the fact that it is Virginia asking them to take a look at the moral superiority? Over the past years I have found the great majority of people with whom I discuss antidiet, fat phobia visually squirm with avoidance of the self reflection. It’s hard work, and I have nothing but intense gratitude for this site and everyone here.
So my take is that I'm glad I was grounded in anti-fat bias before I read the article. Just one example -- the article says that there is solid scientific evidence that five of the leading causes of mortality are associated with excess weight. What are the other five leading causes? Is there another correlation -- like, I don't know, POVERTY?
But also, reading the comments reminded me of the danger of the personal responsibility narrative. We have a crappy health care system in the U.S. Telling people not to eat Oreos is not going to fix that. People got poisoned by THEIR MUNICIPAL DRINKING WATER. Fixating on what people eat on such a micro level (speaking of the sanctimonious commenters) is akin to telling people to use a clothesline to help reverse climate change. Great, good for you, but that are much larger, systemic problems that are undermining people's health and they require systemic solutions.
Can’t wait to read the NYT piece—it looks great! Welcome to all who stumbled into this space—it’s a wonderful, soft place to land after years of the sharp edges of diet culture. And I can’t wait for fat swim week! I’ve been thinking about a 2-piece—excited to see your recs!
1) What kind of bizarro-world rarefied bubble do these NYT commenters live in where Oreo cookies are not just a totally standard thing for families to have in their snack cabinet? Is it really that unusual for educated, middle-class families to buy Oreos?
2) How do you feel about the amount of information she revealed about your financial situation? I mean, I’m sure you gave her permission to share it, but it seems a bit irregular that she shared it in so MUCH detail. As though there’s an ulterior motive for doing so.
3) How can people just flat-out ignore the fact that the Stick of Butter Incident was a one-time mistake on the part of a child who mistook the butter for cheese, and not a standard part of your family’s mealtime repertoire?
I'd love to see the day when every NYT diet/fitness/wellness article had a "both sides" element by including perspectives from an eating disorder treatment professional, weight stigma researcher, and/or methodology expert, etc. A girl can dream!
Huge love to you as you manage big publicity and all the good and weird that comes with it. I’m psyched to meet more Burnt Toasties here! As for swimsuits, I am looking forward to hearing what people love for lap & open water swimming. Thanks for all you and Corinne do.
The title of this post made me smile! “Welcome to where we let you eat…everything” allows my body and mind to relax and that is what you and Corinne do every week! And by allowing myself to relax around food, my toddler relaxes, my family relaxes and for this I am beyond grateful. Thank you Virginia for helping me in so many ways.
I had so many moments of “REALLY?” while reading that. I also had so much admiration and sheer happiness that your strength, beauty, fierce intelligence, joy, house, healthy relationships (I could go on) were on full display.
Yay! Love seeing you ons the NYT but clearly I have FEELINGS about the framing and the lack of nuance or focus on the incredible community you've built here. This is truly one of the most lovely places online and my world is bigger, clearer, and more interesting because of you and all of your invaluable work. HEART EMOJI and BurntToast4Life.
I loved the piece…reading the NYT and running across your article was like running into an old friend in the grocery store. “Oh! I know you!” Damn, though, the comments were a bummer. As a longtime NYT subscriber, I should have expected it. The level of priggish self-congratulation in the comments on anything health related is through the roof. Fatphobe City. Oh, well…screw ‘em. And welcome to the new subscribers!
My first thought scanning the NYT comments (why did I do this, I do not know) was wow, the world really hates a woman who is free.
Just want to thank you for doing this work! Wild to read the NYT piece and be reminded of how fatphobic mainstream media still is (insistence that ob*sity is a disease and only the blandest mention that IWL fails). But also so important for your work to be platformed this way! And welcome to new folks!
This is one of my favorite places on the internet and it’s been one of my great joys to watch this space expand, flex, and continue to challenge us to let go of diet culture in all the places it manifests. You make me think (a lot!!) every damn week. What a privilege to be here!
I'm relatively new here -- Virginia, I found your work a few months ago while grappling with the mortification of realizing I was falling into an eating disorder in my 40s (triggered by my first less than perfect cholesterol panel this year). It's been really helpful. You helped me eat eggs again. At the same time, reading the NYT article this morning helped me see something I hadn't quite put my finger on yet, which is this feeling that maybe I don't quite belong here. The thing that clicked into place for me was reading about the demographics of the followers here which are primarily white, cis, straight, suburban. (I'm white, cis, fiercely urban, lesbian) and I realized it was like when I had a baby and went to a "new moms" group where I was the only lesbian and it was like an anthropological study of straight culture (I went home and told my wife: "I think all these women have a deep rage at their husbands that I didn't realize!") I guess I feel an unease with my struggles with diet culture and my queerness which I feel like should have given me an out from all of this and in some ways gives me a different perspective on things. All this is to say: shout out to other queer people here; thank you, Virginia, and the community here for being welcoming.
(Apologies if this was oversharing. May delete later if I'm feeling too vulnerable.)
Warms my heart that tens of thousands of people are here to learn and unlearn.
Exactly who would the anti-diet message best come from for these sanctimonious people? Would they really sit down and explore the science, the stories, the capitalism, misogyny, and racism if it was presented by someone completely different than Virginia? Or is it the fact that it is Virginia asking them to take a look at the moral superiority? Over the past years I have found the great majority of people with whom I discuss antidiet, fat phobia visually squirm with avoidance of the self reflection. It’s hard work, and I have nothing but intense gratitude for this site and everyone here.
So my take is that I'm glad I was grounded in anti-fat bias before I read the article. Just one example -- the article says that there is solid scientific evidence that five of the leading causes of mortality are associated with excess weight. What are the other five leading causes? Is there another correlation -- like, I don't know, POVERTY?
But also, reading the comments reminded me of the danger of the personal responsibility narrative. We have a crappy health care system in the U.S. Telling people not to eat Oreos is not going to fix that. People got poisoned by THEIR MUNICIPAL DRINKING WATER. Fixating on what people eat on such a micro level (speaking of the sanctimonious commenters) is akin to telling people to use a clothesline to help reverse climate change. Great, good for you, but that are much larger, systemic problems that are undermining people's health and they require systemic solutions.
Can’t wait to read the NYT piece—it looks great! Welcome to all who stumbled into this space—it’s a wonderful, soft place to land after years of the sharp edges of diet culture. And I can’t wait for fat swim week! I’ve been thinking about a 2-piece—excited to see your recs!
The NYT photography is dreamy... I'd try intuitive eating purely on the basis that it might make my houseplants that shade of green
1) What kind of bizarro-world rarefied bubble do these NYT commenters live in where Oreo cookies are not just a totally standard thing for families to have in their snack cabinet? Is it really that unusual for educated, middle-class families to buy Oreos?
2) How do you feel about the amount of information she revealed about your financial situation? I mean, I’m sure you gave her permission to share it, but it seems a bit irregular that she shared it in so MUCH detail. As though there’s an ulterior motive for doing so.
3) How can people just flat-out ignore the fact that the Stick of Butter Incident was a one-time mistake on the part of a child who mistook the butter for cheese, and not a standard part of your family’s mealtime repertoire?
I'd love to see the day when every NYT diet/fitness/wellness article had a "both sides" element by including perspectives from an eating disorder treatment professional, weight stigma researcher, and/or methodology expert, etc. A girl can dream!
Huge love to you as you manage big publicity and all the good and weird that comes with it. I’m psyched to meet more Burnt Toasties here! As for swimsuits, I am looking forward to hearing what people love for lap & open water swimming. Thanks for all you and Corinne do.
The title of this post made me smile! “Welcome to where we let you eat…everything” allows my body and mind to relax and that is what you and Corinne do every week! And by allowing myself to relax around food, my toddler relaxes, my family relaxes and for this I am beyond grateful. Thank you Virginia for helping me in so many ways.
I had so many moments of “REALLY?” while reading that. I also had so much admiration and sheer happiness that your strength, beauty, fierce intelligence, joy, house, healthy relationships (I could go on) were on full display.